Yesterday I was reading on a friends blog about the patience required of her while her daughter adjusts to life with a new baby sister and I began thinking about good parenting and how much I have to learn. Then Deb came over so that we could continue our Bible study through Titus, and of course we got side tracked on this particular topic. Plus my sister had asked me a LONG time ago (while she was dealing with the joys of her son's terrible two's) that we needed to study the Bible and what it specifically states about parenting. So this blog was a long time coming because this study was never far from my daily thought process (knowing it was something I NEEDED as well). So, what is a perfect parent? Most definitely not like me! Is there a perfect example out there? Yes! Thankfully we have a parent that has flawless parental qualities:
He's...
He's...
- Merciful
- Patient
- Slow to Anger
- Abounding in Steadfast Love
- Faithful
- Unchanging
- Gracious
- ETC. ETC.
"You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness." Psalm 86:15In Proverbs there are specific instructions for parents and children on how to discipline and live a Godly life. Solomon wrote Proverbs for his son, so that he might know and understand wisdom and then pass it on to the next generation. It's so full of good advice for being a "perfect" parent that I had to share a few of my favorites that I plan on teaching my children:
- Fear the Lord.
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction." Proverbs 1:7
- Trust God.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
"Incline your ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to my knowledge, for it will be pleasant if you keep them within you, if all of them are ready on your lips. That your trust may be in the Lord..." 22:17-19
"Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him." 30:5
- Listen to mom and dad.
"My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life." 6:20-23
"My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God." Proverbs 2:1-5
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." 22:6
- Be Humble.
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom." 11:2
"Be not wise in your own eyes..." 3:7
"There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers." 6:16-19
"Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished." 16:5
"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." 16:18
"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips." 27:1-2
"One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor." 29:23
"If you have been foolish, exalting yourself, or if you have been devising evil, put your hand on your mouth. For pressing milk produces curds, pressing the nose produces blood, and pressing anger produces strife." 30:32-33
- Give to the Lord.
"Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce..." 3:9
- Accept discipline.
"My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights." 3:11-12
"Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid." 12:1
"Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." 13:24*
"Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence." 15:32
"Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him." 22:15*
"Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol." 23:13-14*
"The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother." 29:15*
- Choose your words wisely.
"Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you." 4:24
"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." 15:1
- Tell the Truth.
"There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers." 6:16-19
- Keep your mouth shut! (Oh boy, am I ever guilty of this one!)
"When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent." 10:19
"Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin." 13:3
"Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent." 17:27-28
"If you have been foolish, exalting yourself, or if you have been devising evil, put your hand on your mouth. For pressing milk produces curds, pressing the nose produces blood, and pressing anger produces strife." 30:32-33
- Keep secrets.
"Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered." 11:12-13
"Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler." 20:19
- Work Hard.
"Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense." 12:11
"In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty." 14:23
"Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys." 18:9
"Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits will have plenty of poverty. A faithful man will abound with blessings, but whoever hastens to be rich will not go unpunished." 28:19-20
- Speak kindly about others.
"Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered." 11:12-13
- Choose your friends wisely.
"Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." 13:20
"Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge." 14:7
"Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler." 20:19
"Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways." 22:24-25
- Choose happiness.
"A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed." 15:13
- Actions speak loudly.
"Even a child makes himself known by his acts, by whether his conduct is pure and upright." 20:11
- Turn the other cheek.
"Do not say, "I will repay evil"; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you." 20:22
"Do not say, "I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done." 24:29
- Mind your own business.
"Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears." 26:17
"If you have been foolish, exalting yourself, or if you have been devising evil, put your hand on your mouth. For pressing milk produces curds, pressing the nose produces blood, and pressing anger produces strife." 30:32-33
- Admit and Apologize!
* Obviously this pertains to spanking. Now, I don't know if they actually used a "rod" (I'm going to assume that they did), but I don't recommend this in today's day and age - your hand is more than effective. When I was growing up I remember the most torturous part of our discipline was going out to find a specific stick (it had to be so long and so wide), it "gave" us the "opportunity" to think about what we did and why it was wrong. Although it was highly effective, I'll never do that. :) I live my life by the Bible and will not hesitate in this regard if it is needed, however, there is a loving way to do this. The book, titled 'Sheparding a Childs Heart' by Tedd Tripp, which I wrote about many months ago gives sound advice on how to do this so that your child understands "the why" and that you do it because you love them. Still, I truly believes it depends on the child. There are certain children (like my sister Mandy) who was never spanked because the moment you looked at her sternly she burst into tears, and then there are other devious children (like myself) who needed to be spanked (haha, and often!)."Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity." 28:14
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