Tuesday's Top Ten Plus Ten [Funniest Books]

I wonder, as I review this list, about my taste in comedy. Seriously, I love to giggle over Laffy Taffy jokes! As a result of that truth I wouldn't put too much emphasis on "funniest" books; in fact, I might actually call the list wacky. Still, I'd check these books out for their outlandish silliness, 'cause everyone needs some silly in their lives.

For more laughs, giggles, or eye rolling be sure to check out Melany's list! 

1. Ghastlies, Goops, and Pincushions by X.J. Kennedy is a book full of wacky nonsense verse. I giggled through each poem - all in one setting.

2. Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series is hilarity at its finest. The book is a little rough around the edges at times, but I love the strange characters Evanovich creates stories around; plus the bizarre situations Stephanie Plum gets herself involved in are mysteriously comical. Stephanie Plum is an awful bounty hunter who's constantly down on her luck and with Grandma Mazur or Lulu to babysit half the time, things are always interesting. Not to mention the fact that she has two men she's in love with and I often wonder if Evanovich isn't just going to leave us hanging on which one she picks. I'm rooting for Ranger, but we may never know, which is killing me! 

3. The children's book titled Rooster Can't Cock-a-Doodle-Doo by Karen Rostoker-Gruber is hilarious only because of the illustrations by Paul Ratz de Tagyos. It's the pictures that make this book come alive! Each time I read it I giggled as the animals "help" Farmer Ted with his chores. Seriously, read this book for the illustrations.

4. If my two year old daughter would add anything to this list it'd be The Monkey Goes Bananas by C.P. Bloom. I found it hilarious because of my daughters adorable belly laughs. She especially likes the page where the illustrator ingeniously depicts the monkey being flung across the watery chasm between the islands separating himself (once again) from the bananas. I add a few monkey "oooo's" and "aaaaa's" and "eeee's" to make it that much more "comical." I still can't get over how much she LOVES this book. It's a book of few words, but it's a great story.

5. If my former students could add anything to this list it'd be The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie. It's funny, yet it isn't. It's full of heartache, while also being side-splitting. The main character, Junior, loves to cartoon and as an Indian growing up on the Spokane reservation he has quite the subject list: like drunkenness running rampant, unemployment, hunger, education woes, tragedies galore, not to mention his own medical problems. This book is emotionally loaded - with tears and hysterical laughs throughout. The reason it makes this list is because Junior makes lemonade, adding a bit of wit and humor, with the truck load of lemons life hands him.

Side Note: I taught this book to my high school reading class, which consisted fully of struggling readers (it was a 100% special needs class). Unfortunately, each of my students could relate to Junior's medical issues and the exclusion experienced because of it. Fortunately, we all fell in love with Junior's ability to take life head on (well sorta, because Junior's list of medical issues begin at being born with too much cerebral fluid on the brain and all kinds of issues as a result of that one issue, but that's beside the point). Junior is relatable and I loved his take on life, which is exactly what many of these kids desperately needed. It was always, always, always a riveting success. Warning: masturbation is a short, but embarrassing, topic of discussion at one point and time. If it hadn't been for that one piece I would've read it to my junior highers. 

6. Moo! by David LaRochelle is a picture book with one word: Moo! It's funny only because of the ending. 

7. Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney does make the list. Don't judge! If you can't read this book from a junior high teacher or parent perspective, don't read it. Half the stuff I read about in this book (like the cheese touch) actually happens. If it wasn't for stupid books like this, I'd have gone hysterical with all the crazy stuff I dealt with day in and day out. Trust me. It's funny. (I might also think it's funnier than it is because one of my high school speachers created a humorous prose speech out of it. Call me biased, but he did really, really well with it.)

8. I thought the children's book Plaidypus Lost by Janet Stevens and Susan Stevens Crummel was worth a giggle or two. If you have a little one, this book will be relatable, which is why I found it worthy enough to make this list.

9. Educating Esme: Diary of a Teacher's First Year by Esme Raji Codell is filled with hilarity, sincerity, brilliance, and ingenious. Esme documents her first year of teaching in a Chicago Public School. What she faces and how she deals with it inspired me as a teacher on so many levels. There are hilarious moments, but there are also tear jerking and frustrating ones as well. It's an all around great read.

10. Marley & Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog by John Grogan is most definitely worthy of this list. You see, I have a naughty Marley (not nearly as naughty as this Marley) but after reading this I was convinced it had something to do with the name. And no, I did not name my Marley after this book. If you have a dog, you'll be able to relate and empathize with the hilarious situations Marley gets John and his family involved in; but I warn you, you'll cry just as hard as you laugh.

This is my Marley, who we refer to as "Naughty Marley" or " Marley Man"...

... he's also been the topic of conversation many times here...

My Little Marley Man

Marley Man's Weird Quirks #22-25

Poor Marley Tried to Bite a Fan

Poor Marley and the Dreaded Red Ant Attack

All in all, I think you're guaranteed a giggle here and there by checking out the books on this list. Still, if you don't appreciate jokes (like the one I found on the Laffy Taffy I ate last night, What Makes Music on your Head? A Head Band) then you won't appreciate a few of the books on this list. ;) 

Before you sign off, don't forget Melany's list!

Tuesday's Top Ten [Church Nursery Duty "Sins"]

I had the privilege of doing nursery duty last Sunday. It was a morning that helped me understand toddlers, stand in awe over cute they are, and that life with them is never, ever boring. I am beyond thankful these kiddo's are in my life for so many reasons, but here's a list inspired by my time with them Sunday morning; because despite how absolutely adorable they are and how each and every situation listed below made me laugh hysterically, it also helped me realize our deep and never-ending need for a Savior!

1. Coveting runs rampant. If one toddler looks like they're having fun with a toy, all toddlers want it.

2. Selfish thoughts are evident, "Even if you're playing with it, I will have it." That goes back to #1, because I want to have the same amount of fun as you, so even if you have the toy, I will get it from you, no matter the cost and even if I'm told, "no, wait your turn."

3. Patience is an unknown skill. 

4. Even if it's yours, it's mine. (Including sippy cups, pacifiers, and lovey's.)

5. Giving love is not always loving. From taps on the head to chubby-armed hugs -- watch out.

6. Toddlers give in to peer pressure too. For example: one baby wanted out. So she slammed both hands on the door and yelled, "da-da-da!" in a desperate attempt to get her daddy to save her from the horrors of the nursery. Once she did this, all babies thought it was a great idea.

7. Toddlers justify over indulgence. EVERYONE WANTS MORE CRACKERS!

8. Playing makes your clothes fall off.  If you take your child to the nursery, but extra layers on, 'cause them shoes ain't gonna last too long (and they may be lost forever, the nursery eats stuff).

9. It's like the tower of Babel in there. Each child has their own unique language. It's not easy trying to decipher 10 different versions of "cracker" (and the weird thing is that despite the variations, they all seem to understand one another).

10. Grudges are held. I wouldn't let one girl kick another girl. Oh man, are girls stubborn! (It was her against me.) I'm not sure who won, but after removing her from the ordeal (making her MAD) she did not want me. After a time I asked her if we could cuddle for a bit and she quite honestly answered, "No." So I asked, "Are you still mad at me?" More honesty, "Yes." (By the way, she did cuddle with me and wanted no one else --despite her grudge-- so I guess something was accomplished in all of that, right?) Either way it made me giggle.

Despite these truths, I also realized this amazing truth as well: that Everyone enjoys the simple things and takes time to stand in awe of it. Like trains going by, cuddle time in a rocking chair, or finding a matching puzzle piece. Trying to teach them patience and sharing do not compare to what they teach me on a daily basis.

I encourage you to find the person in charge of setting up the nursery duty schedule in your church and volunteer your time. Jesus had a lot to say about the value of children, make them a priority, and you'll begin to understand why they're a valuable asset to any church atmosphere and why they're worth every second of our time and energy.

My Little Bean [13 Months!]

I am in awe of what she's picked up this last month! (Bear with me because everything she does is so irresistibly adorable to me that I think everyone on God's planet earth wants to hear about it.) I don't apologize for that. She is definitely loved.

This month she's picked up how to sign please and thank you. Haha, she says please for everything now because I think she's figured out it'll get her what she wants. Great.

This girl is an eater, she always has been, but she seriously wants to eat all the time (constantly signing for "more"). I'm not sure she has a favorite anything because one day she won't eat strawberries (for example) and the next day that's all she wants to eat.

Pancake and Egg. She was saying, "mmmmmmm..."

Her favorite place to be is outside. She's figured out that a jacket and shoes means that's where we're going and she gets so so excited. If she's a grumpy mess - outside we go! She's a different child in the great outdoors.

She LOVES  books. We read a book after breakfast and lunch and I'll usually find her sitting in the turtle (a pool flotation device) talking and giggling and turning the pages. She amazes me really because she holds them with reverence and gets so irritated if she can't turn the pages (who knew that'd be a difficult task at times).

She is really good at expressing frustration. It reflects how I react in moments of frustration: clinched fists, a growl, pouting, &etc. I don't know that I've ever been frustrated enough to do that in front of her (I probably have) but she's obviously watching me or she is very much my daughter, in which case I've got my work cut out for me. I've realized that I must become more intentional in the words that I say and the things that I do, because my daughter is going to repeat them. Oy.

She kisses her reflection in the full length mirror. I have yet to get this on film, every time I pull out my camera she stops. Dang it.

She scraped up her forehead and nose when she tried to run down our cement driveway. Poor girl. She's pretty good at this whole walking thing, but is still pretty wobbly.

If she loves something, it gets an aw-aw-aw: her blankie's, toys, food, mommy's legs (I'll be doing dishes and get a little Bean at my feet, squeezing my legs and repeating "aw-aw-aw" over and over again as she pats me, reducing my heart to a puddle on the floor.), poor Marley gets chased all day in a desperate attempt to give him loves...

So we put him in the crib with Bean and she took advantage, notice how he's loving all the attention? Hehe.

This is my "my-heart-is-reduced-to-a-puddle-on-the-floor" look.

She has an obsession with stuffed animals and their noses. She'll give the little toy aw-aw-aw's and then pick at the nose. Her Minnie Mouse has chunks missing from her little nose because I'm also pretty sure she chews on her! LOL.

Daddy gets aw-aw-aw's the moment he walks through the door. It's another heart on the floor moment, I'm going to have nothing left if she keeps doing this to me! ;) Quigley would get more aw-aw-aw's if he wasn't trying to lick her as she's simultaneously trying to give him loves. Those two crack me up.

Recently cousin Alexi has decided that she "loves Brielle so much that she's a sister" (she told her mommy she loves Brielle too much to be a cousin). (Did you say "AW!" out loud while reading that?)

These two are pretty cute. I have a feeling they're going to be BFF's.

Every where we go she makes a bee-line for wheeled toys AND makes a "brrrrrmmmmm" noise as she pushes it across the floor. I've never understood why until I watched her daddy playing with her, pushing around trucks making corresponding noises. This girl is a daddy's girl. I should've known! (By the way, I LOVE that.)

In my thankful journal this week I wrote about how amazing it is to listen to these two play as I was making dinner the other night. He is such an incredible father and I thank God for blessing me with them both, every day.

She LOVES dressing up. We put "pretties" in her hair (which she whispers "pre-pre-pre") and I gave her a bucket with necklaces and bracelets. It's hilarious to watch her put them on, for the longest time she didn't understand how to get the necklace over her head, so she stuck it under her chin and kept her chin down trying so hard to keep it on, now she's got it down. She holds her hand up in the air when she wears a bracelet and gets so frustrated when it falls off. She has this adorable little Minnie Mouse back pack that she insists on wearing all day, so cute. Also, her outfit is not complete without a "pre-pre-pre" in her hair. I'll get her all dressed up and say, "Oh, Brielle you look so pretty!" and she'll start patting her hair and -whispering- "pre-pre-pre" (seriously, she'll only say "pre-pre-pre" in a whisper).

It's so weird to think that I have this little girl who walks and talks (in her own little language) and is learning and changing and growing right before my eyes. I feel so incredibly blessed to be her mommy.

Tuesday's Top Ten [Most Embarrassing Moments]

I will argue that my embarrassing stories are hard to beat... especially number 3, or 5, oooooooor 10....

1. At one of my best friends wedding the entire wedding party was getting their picture taken at the end of these fantastic set of stairs. As one of the bride's personal attendants we were asked to join them for a picture. Those that know me know I'm not the most graceful being on the face of the planet, skipped at least two steps, flashed the entire wedding party my underwear and landed on my face. The other personal attendant in front of me, who is thankfully a close friend, didn't know she was trying to assist me as I grabbed her butt in a desperate attempt to catch myself.

2. Don't hit "reply all" in an email or you might be guilty of calling a professor you don't like, a name you should never, ever say out loud OR in your head. Instead of apologizing, (and to my everlasting shame) I desperately tried to cover it up.

3.  In the middle of an IEP meeting (which lasted especially long) I was pregnant (first trimester), tired, thirsty, hungry, and my back ached like a mother. I desperately needed to pop it, so I decided, why not? (I could give you a list of reasons why self-control is important in instances like these....) One such reason: As I reached my hands behind my back, felt the pop, breathed a sigh of relief, a button quite literally POPPED off my jacket and hit the Special Education Coordinator right in the face. Thank GOODNESS she hysterically laughed about it, but I was humiliated. What's worse is that I had a hard time controlling my giggles at that point, but I seriously think it was because I was on the verge of tears. (I even peed a little.)

4.  Kyle and I have a secret husband and wife "bucket list". Yeah, it's no longer secret. My dad accidentally found it. And by accidentally, I mean I'm an idiot and left it out in plain sight.

5. One night as I was coaching basketball before parent/teacher conferences I didn't have time to change into coaching clothes before the conferences started, so I tried coaching in heals, skirt, jacket, pantie hose, etc. Bad idea. In my frustration I decided to show the girls how to do something, tripped and fell. At least it was a girls team because they all knew the color of my underwear. (Sigh.)

6. I peed my pants when I was in the THIRD grade because I was wearing a full body suit and couldn't get it unbuttoned quickly enough, so I stayed in the stall and SCREAMED. Seriously. (And I've often wondered why my 1 year old is a drama queen already....)

7. My first year of teaching I made this BRILLIANT decision to carry around a shortened pool noodle; because I thought it was a neat idea to point at things with it and when I wanted extra emphasis I'd smack it on the table (those things make a loud POPPING sound). One of my students decided to try and take it from me by reaching between my legs and yanking up. My knee jerk reaction was to turn around and hit whatever had violated me as hard as I possibly could; thankfully I hit him with the noodle and not my fist. I'm also extremely grateful that my principal told him he would've hit him with more than a noodle and that his parents were angry at him and not me. (Whew.) Still, lesson learned. Rule #1: No noodles allowed.

8. During a test drive (with a bug) I stalled the car in the middle of a busy Fort Collins intersection and it would NOT start after that. I killed the battery. As someone drove by he so kindly yelled out the window, "Don't buy THAT car!" Yeah, thanks for the advice.

9. When I worked for the YMCA in Beatrice, NE Little Big Town came to the county fair to perform. I was a HUGE Little Big Town fan, especially of their hit "Boondocks." Well, they decided to work out at the YMCA where my best friend and I worked at the time. We had just taken the kids swimming so I was in my suit with a towel wrapped around my waist. When I saw them I was naturally excited, took off running to tell my best friend, tripped, and fell flat on my face. Hey, we got free back stage passes and their autographs. I don't know if it's because they felt sorry for me or not, but it was a fun night despite that one particular moment.

10. The first time I met an ex-boyfriend's family, his grandmother asked me to help her take a fleece pull over jacket off. "Of course!" Easy right? Well, she was wearing a silky shirt underneath and with the dry Colorado air it stuck right to the jacket. So instead of simply helping her pull off her jacket, I pulled off her shirt as well. At first I didn't realize it and began folding her jacket to put it away, until I heard her scream, "BECKY!" I wish I could say that it was as easy to put it on as it was to take it off. I was shaky, sweaty, humiliated and so was she! What's worse is that the entire family was there to witness it.

I was reminded of one of those stories recently and decided that I might as well share some of my worst moments. Do you know what's sad? It wasn't hard coming up with 10 embarrassing stories. Yup, every single story is 100% true and yes, they all belong to me. I had to share them because I think it's important to laugh at yourself and to be transparent. Not one person on the face of the planet is perfect, least of all me.

Brielle's Newest and Cutest!

Brielle has blown me away these last few weeks with everything she's doing, like...

... "ca-ca-ca-ca" is cracker. (This includes graham crackers, Cheetos, and Kix.)

... she's desperately trying to use a fork. (This was not something I taught her. She saw me using it and wanted it, so after giving it to her she began to mimic me. I WAS AMAZED. It's monkey see, monkey do. -- I just had a scary thought. -- Am I going to see my bad habits reflected through my daughter soon? Gotta be careful. Reminds me of this YouTube video I watched a while back... do you know how long it took me to find it? :) Watching it as a mother vs a teacher is a totally new, motivating, kick-me-in-the-butt experience.)

... she's obsessed with "pretties" in her hair. We went shopping for her birthday presents, which I thought was so fun. We took her with us and showed her the stuff before buying it - just to see her reaction. She LOVES this HUGE stuffed dog at the library and her reaction was the same when we found a stuffed "Lady" dog, but her reaction to a package of "pretties" was adorable. She pats her head and tries so hard to put them in her hair. She tried to put the entire package in her hair! Kyle and I were cracking up in the middle of Target. She knew she was being entertaining so she kept doing it, of course. The best part about "pretties" is that after I put one in her hair, she points to the mirror and she's patting the pretty on her head while I tell her how pretty she looks.

These cute little flowers were in the clearance basket at Dollar General. When she saw them she instantly started patting her head. How could I resist?!

... when she wants something it's "be-be-be-be" (unless it's a cracker, then it's "ca-ca-ca").

... at youth group some kids were kicking around a ball and she wanted to do it too! Ever since then when she see's a ball, she wants us to walk her around, while she kicks it (you can call me soccer mom already). Pretty amazing. She also LOVES, loves, loves to play catch. For an 11 month old, she has a pretty good arm (but are you seeing how bias I am already?!). I need to get both these things on video.

... when she's mad at mommy (because -oh-my-goodness- I wiped her snotty nose) she's instantly yelling for "da-da-da-da!" and begging to go to daddy. (So it begins.)

... I had to remove the cute canopy that hung above her bed (actually she removed it herself). She LOVED to play with it and yanked it down on top of herself the other night, scaring her half to death, which also scared daddy and I half to death. Her scared scream scares the bee-jee-bee's out of me. Welp, so much for that.

... She LOVES coconut milk. In the process of transitioning to sippy cups (she will NOT drink out of a bottle) she would only drink water. I'm not complaining, but her milk intake dramatically decreased. I tried putting breastmilk in the sippy cup, formula, juice, etc. but she'd only spit it out (unless it was water). Weird, I know. So we've been trying other things and thankfully we have a hit! We went to a restaurant in Cheyenne that specializes in juices and smoothies and she loved Kyle's coconut, pineapple, yogurt concoction (wanted nothing to do with my strawberry smoothie). Light bulb moment for me - why don't we try coconut milk?! :)

These things may not be anything big, but they are things I don't want to forget. Once I write them down I'm always thinking of Grandma's and Grandpa's, Aunts and Uncles who are also interested in her newest and cutest. This way you can oooooo and awwwwww right along with me.  

A Shout Out to My CrAaaAaaAAAAzy Quigley

Instead of becoming less crazy, Quigley has instead added weird quirks. However, as he adds to his craziness, he has also become one heck of a dog, that deserves a BIG SHOUT OUT. Let me tell you why:

Quigley knows that if it's Brielle's he'd better leave it alone. She loves to give him her food, right from the table. BIG no-no, for Brielle and Quigley. He's not allowed to take it unless we tell him he can and Brielle is not allowed to feed the dogs from the table. The rule for the dogs is that they're supposed to "GO LAY DOWN" as we're eating. When given permission they come over and clean up the disaster under her high chair. Here's what we're currently working on: Brielle LOVES to play with the dog dishes, but Quigley knows that if Brielle touches it, he cannot have it. So when Quigley is eating Brielle has this obsession with playing with his food. When she touches it, Quigley follows the rule "GO LAY DOWN!" (Impressive, right?!) I'll tell Brielle "No!" and he'll come back over to eat, but it takes A LOT of convincing on my part before Quigley understands it's okay. Oh my goodness, he's such a good dog! I feel so bad for him when this happens, so Brielle is usually in bed or in her high chair (unable to crawl to his bowl) when I feed them.

Brielle + Quigley = BFF's. Where ever there's a Quigley, there's a Monster Bean. If Quigley is looking out the window, Brielle is looking out the window. If Brielle is playing with a toy, Quigley is right there, staring longingly at it, wanting to play with it too. If Brielle and I are walking in the yard, Quigley is RIGHT THERE walking beside us. They're two peas in a pod.

He buries his stuff. Which is kinda annoying when you go in the back yard and see the gazillion holes he's dug, but it's hilarious when Kyle finds a rawhide under his pillow (seriously).

I know he'll protect me. We were at my sisters condo in Winter Park hanging out, when her hubby and Kyle walk through the door. Jokingly I told Marley and Quigley to "Get 'em!" (Mistake.) Quigley's hair was raised and he went after them, once he realized it was Kyle, he was all good, but I won't say that unless I'm really needing him to "Get 'em!" If you're reading this, I have a gun and I have a Quigley. If you break into my house with the intention of hurting anyone in my family (including Quigley) you. will. be. meeting. your Maker.

It takes a day to learn something new. It took a day to learn the term "LEAVE IT!" (We practiced with treats and toys.) It took a day to learn the command "COME!" It took one evening, yes... one, for him to learn that he needed to "GO LAY DOWN!" during meal time. He is smart and he wants to please.

Brielle LOVES to ride on him. He loves it too. He'll just run around while I'll hold Brielle on his back and he'll turn around and lick her to death. She just giggles non-stop. CUTE.

Quigley LOVES visitors. I cannot get him to stop licking anyone I invite inside. Ugh. He reminds me of that dog from Up, "I just met you and I love you."

When I blog, he's under the desk hanging out with me. (Or trying to sit in my lap. He's an 80 pound-ish hefty monster so this is impossible, but he continues to try.)

Marley beats him up. Not kidding. We're constantly yelling at Marley for bullying him. Poor Quigles.

Here's why I'm telling you this. You see, we know Quigley is a lab/bully breed of some sort. We know that wherever we go there will be a prejudice against this crazy, but well-behaved, loveable, desperately-wanting-to-please, lick, lick, lick-crazed, baby protecting, smart dog. People see him and they're instantly terrified, and I get that... he's big and muscular (same goes with humans, it's so hard to not have this momentary feeling of desperation when you see a guy dressed in all black, hood up, pants sagging...), but give him a chance. I have a feeling that he is going to be one of those dogs that leave the biggest impact on my life, my husbands life and mostly my daughters life. We love this crazy dog to death (Marley will never admit this, but he loves him too).

The Lone Pea Plant vs. Crazy Quigley

If you haven't figured it out from my post a long, long time ago that Quigley is crazy, well, just know that stories involving this sweet, HUGE, goober of a dog will always be interesting.

To our everlasting frustration Quigley is a digger. If he has something that he likes, his way of keeping it is by burying it, thus it is hidden in his mind. I'll find random rawhides, for example, "hidden" (or "buried") in corners and couch cushions throughout the house. Welllllll, I made the mistake of putting my little potted garden by the hose in the backyard.

He dug in my peas.

We decided to smooth out the dirt and just wait. If I didn't have peas, I'd replant them. To my surprise they survived (they're a jumbled mess, but I'm not going to complain! It's an easy fix.).

This weekend my father came up to visit us and as we're BEEEEELAXIN (what my 3 year old nephew Gary calls relaxing) on the back porch, Poppy looks over and hmmmm's... "that looks like a pea plant!"

And lo and behold, in one of Quigley's holes, there's a lone pea plant in our backyard. We laughed about this for a while.

I decided to keep this lone pea plant there as a reminder of this crazy dog, who can irritate the fire out of me, and yet bring so much joy and laughter into our home and is most definitely teaching me a valuable lesson in patience.

I was trying to get a picture with him and Brielle but he was only interested in giving me kisses or sitting in my lap (we haven't told him that he's not Marley sized and we haven't told Marley, who's a miniature rat terrier, that he's not Quigley sized. Oi.)

A Week of Projects: Day 2

Two Days down of Kyle's vacation has proven successful. Granted, we didn't get as much done as we hoped, but that's what you should expect when remodeling (#4 in 10 Reasons I Hate Remodeling). Funny story about remodeling. Kyle shares my dislike. He said he'd add one more to my list, but for him it would be #1. He HATES destruction! The construction part he doesn't mind, but ripping out plaster and dry wall and old nails isn't on his "this is fun to do" list. So last night as we walked to Tuesday night Bible study, he casually mentioned that he never wants to remodel again. This was my response,

"REALLY?! YAY! I'm so, so glad."

We both agreed that we will be more picky about the purchase of our next home. We don't mind yard work (or work work period) but if a gallon of paint can't fix it, we don't want it. So we're praying that God provides the means to afford a home that requires no remodeling, just some elbow grease cleaning, painting, or normal home repairs (not a "-crap- we have to replace ALL of the plumbing?" kind of job). We have learned so much with this home about what to look for, what we value and appreciate, construction, destruction, and cost effectiveness.

Back to our projects yesterday...

We underestimated how big the backyard garden was going to be, so we're short a few bricks and day lilies. Finishing the flower bed project will have to wait. That's okay. We got the hard part done and that was pulling the weed mess. That's the whole reason we decided to do it.

How we started the morning...

What it will look like all done, we have 8 feet (ish) so I won't show you an after picture just yet...

Remember reason #3 in my "10 Reasons I Hate Remodeling" blog? If you're remodeling, expect a dirty mess everywhere. Yeah, this is my living room floor....

And then, because your husband has to use a sledgehammer to crack through a layer of plaster and a layer of drywall (BTW, Kyle said he'd like to meet whoever-so-kindly did that and ask him WHY!?!), you have messes like this...

Uh Oh...

Cockeyed L...

All better...

I am not kidding when I say the entire house was shaken up. There is a stairway between our kitchen and the upstairs bathroom and a crystal bowl (that was a wedding gift) that hung out on the shelving above the sink crashed...

Now... FUNNY story... that little black dot you see in the top left corner is a fly who was in the wrong place at the wrong time... HAHA.

When the bowl came crashing down into the sink it smashed the fly. LOL.

 Oh well, it's just a bowl. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter. Besides, the fly story is a good one.

Kyle is finishing the destruction of the bathroom TODAY (Day 3)! He can hardly wait to get it done and quite frankly, I do not blame him. Here's some pictures of what he accomplished...

When you walk through the door, this is what you see...

Bathtub...

Ceiling mid-day

Ceiling at the end of the day...

Bathtub at the end of the day (I'm not sure why it's all cloudy like that, sorry)...

We went to church utterly exhausted (Kyle more than me) but hey, we may not be getting done what we'd like to get done at the rate we'd like to do it, but we're working our butt off to finish the bathroom THIS WEEK! (Pray for us, especially Kyle!) 

Speaking of Kyle, one of my thankfuls this week is that I married a hard working man. I cannot even fathom the rate at which Kyle works on a daily basis. On a typical week he gets up around 4:30 in the morning so he can work out. He's at work by 7 and does not typically come home until 6ish. He has to work occasional weekends, and despite a 50+ hour week he comes home and works on the house without complaining. Now, he's using VACATION time to complete one (of many) jobs and is working HARD to complete it before he has to go back to work on Monday and start his 4:30 am - 9 pm routine. I admire this man and his work ethic. He inspires me.

Prayer for Colic

For the first 3 months of Brielle's life I was exhausted. Brielle fought sleep, by simply not sleeping at all. It was a miracle when I finally did get her to sleep and I would sing prayers of thanksgiving. Once 10 PM hit, she was up and crying. I doubt I spent those first few months of her life sleeping next to my husband at all. Most of my sleeping was during her day time naps. She would seriously scream from 10 until early, early the next morning. The worst night was at Grandma's house where she screamed all night long, from 10 to 5 am.

When we relayed these details to our doctor she very pointedly exclaimed, "It sounds like she has a mild case of colic." Mild?! You call screaming all hours of the night mild?! I probably looked at her from dark ringed eyes and a scraggly hair do. I doubt my clothes even matched. I was running on nothing. I think back to those days as some of the most sleep deprived days of my life (not counting Greek week as a college freshman). I mean I was recovering from 2 surgery's, major iron deficiency and my doctor told me that the best recovery therapy was rest.

Haha. With a colicky newborn?!

So this morning when I read, "Prayer for Colic" out of my "Mommy Prayers" book by Tracy Mayor, I could totally relate.

Dear God, Have I offended you? I know I can be smug, what with my great husband, delightful toddler, and happy second pregnancy. Did I get too complacent or ungrateful? Because my new baby has colic, Lord, and at times it's so awful that if feels like nothing but a punishment from a vengeful God. Look at how my child is suffering! In a single day our happy, sleepy newborn turned into a howling, red-faced monster, and no matter what we try, we can't get him back. They say he's not in pain, God, but I'm not a fool. I can see with my eyes and feel with my heart that he's hurting. He's writhing and gasping and emitting that unmistakably ear-splitting colic cry for hours and hours on end. His big sister is angry and clingy and teary, and why shouldn't she be when there's not a moment of peace in the house from three in the afternoon till midnight, every single night? We've been to the pediatrician more times than I can count, and to every specialist in town. We've tried every feeding, holding, sleeping, and soothing trick in the book. I am clinging to the hope that this colic will very shortly end the same way it began - suddenly and without warning. Until then, Lord, please send us the strength and patience to somehow survive through these minutes and hours and days and weeks. You're our only hope, Lord. Thanks.

I think, had I read this 3 months ago, I would've cried. Now, I giggle as I relate to the feeling of desperation. I would have gratefully repeated the last line in bold, please give us strength and patience to survive! I laugh as I think of how I felt towards other mom's with newborns, holding their sleeping, not crying, baby and think, "Why can't my baby be like that?!" I don't ever remember my child sleeping peacefully in my arms, in her car seat, crib, swing, bouncy chair.... In fact, one night at Bible study a mom of three yelled over my screaming child, "Don't worry! Your next baby will be different, not all babies are like this!"

WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ANOTHER BABY?!

I mean my first experience with giving birth was an emergency experience, 10 days later I almost died from postpartum hemorrhaging, and while I was supposed to be recovering from both of these experiences I'm a sleep deprived, sickly, weak mommy of a colicky newborn. Having more children was not on any thought spectrum of either my husband or myself.

If you're reading this, while experiencing a newborn with colic, do not worry. It does end as suddenly as it began. The moment you try one thing and it works that one time, the next time it won't. But do not lose heart, you will get through this! You will be a more patient, loving parent because of it and you will be able to look back at this portion of your life as a refining fire, where your only hope was literally in the Lord and his strength!

In the mean time, I'm praying for you and all sleep deprived mommy's out there, trying to recover from labor and delivery, that you find rest in God and love the little blessing He entrusted to you.