Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Tuesday's Top Ten [What Society Tells Stay-at-Home Mom's & the Arguments to Combat Them]

Here's a list of 10 things that society tells stay-at-home mom's and my arguments to combat them. Stay encouraged all you mommy's out there, because you're doing a good job!

1. Motherhood is not a job. I beg to differ. Especially at 4 am when my daughter has puked on me for the 4th time (which means I get up change sheets, do laundry, clean her and myself, rock her, comfort her...). A job means work and mommy's work hard - 24/7. I feel for those mom's who have to work on top of being a mommy. One job is hard enough, talk to those mommy's who have two!

2. You're not a contributing member of society. False. You are raising how many future productive members of society? You're job every day is to teach them the value of hard work, dedication, perseverance, kindness, and love. You need all of those characteristics in order to be a contributing member of society and a good mom. Mom's (stay-at-home or not) will always be contributing members of society.

3. You don't contribute to the family income. Think of it this way: you may or may not bring money into your account, but your job is find as many ways you possibly can to save it. That requires as much work as any job. Plus I know many stay-at-home mom's that find gobs of ways to make a penny here and there, and believe me, a penny helps.

4. You wasted your education. Not true. I can't tell you how many different ways my M.Ed. has affected my life as a mommy and how many different ways being a mommy has affected my being a teacher. Plus I haven't given up on being a teacher. I will always be a teacher - at home, at church or anywhere else. Whatever your profession (doctor, nurse, lawyer, teacher, etc.) you tend to use what you've learned wherever you are, even at home with your children; especially at home with your children.

5. You're giving up on your dreams. Sometimes dreams change, but most of the time your dreams can wait. Here's my take on this: I can always go back to teaching, but I will never, ever get the first years of my daughters life back. I only have 18 years with her and the rest of my life to go after my dream job. Right now, this stay-at-home mommy job, is my dream job. (Another self-side note: I rely on this one fact in my walk with Christ: God is in control. Therefore, if the doors are opened for me to go back to teaching, well, He did that. If not, He did that, and He has something else in mind for His glory. Whatever it be, if I truly trust God and His plan for my life, I should not worry about it. It's not my dreams that matter, but living my life for His glory that does, and right now this is where he wants me.)

6. Staying at home is so mundane. So is being in a square cubicle. I'd rank "staff professional days" or "IEP meetings" or "grading papers" up there with changing diapers. Every job has mundane moments. Have you ever hung out with little kids? There is absolutely nothing mundane about the way they see life. The things they say or do will always keep you on your toes and typically one day is different than the next. It's all how you view it! Not to mention the fact that "stay-at-home" part is optional. It's entirely up to you. Every community has a plethora of stay-at-home mom's looking for opportunities to get out of the house and do something - like taking your kids to a museum, park, or zoo. Some communities even have a mom group to join. Public library's typically have opportunities like book and craft time. Get involved in your community! Nursing homes, for example, love kids and kids love the attention they get there. Life becomes boring when you let it bore you.

7. You're crazy. Who isn't? I think nurses are crazy for putting up with needy patients, gross bodily functions, and demanding doctors. I think elementary teachers are crazy for doing what they do (needy, stinky kids, gross bodily functions, demanding parents...) with no respect or money to show for it. Lawyers are crazy for actually wanting to study law... snooze-fest. Gynecologists are crazy (need I go there?). Are we really that crazy, or are we doing what we need to do because we're being called to do it, just like everyone else - nurses, doctors, lawyers and teachers alike! 

8. There's no creative outlet. Again, that's entirely up to you. You are the manager of your home, if you chose not to be creative with it, that's your prerogative. Believe me when I say there are plenty of opportunities to inspire creativity in your children and there are many outlets for you to express your creativity - whatever it be. (Take this blog as one example...)

9. Don't you get tired of hanging out with the same people everyday? Does your boss irritate you? What about a fellow teacher? Or the person who sits in the cubicle next to yours? Granted, you can get a moment alone in the bathroom (which doesn't seem to happen with mommy's) but no matter where you go, there will always be someone to irritate you.

10. Doesn't it get old to do the dishes, laundry, and make meals day after day? You already have to do those things! Everyone must do dishes, laundry, meal prep, &etc. Instead of worrying about those things AND taking care of my children AND spending time with my husband AND going to a job everyday, I get to do those things, and have time to play, read, write on my blog, decorate, and focus my attention on one thing: my family and their needs. When I had a job I stressed over my 80 some students, my husband, my pets and adding children to that overwhelmed me. Now I "stress" over my husband, my daughter, my pets and savor the moments I spend drawing near to God, which is every minute of every day. I didn't  seem to "have time" for that before. Whether you work at home or not, your families needs should be your first priority; and meals, dishes, and laundry are all part of it.

Don't let society fool you into thinking that mom's are worth nothing - stay-at-home or not. In reality mom's are one of the most valuable assets to any society. God has blessed women with the ability to create and nurture life, embrace it, love it and don't let society take the joy out of it.

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