Sorry Facebook Friends!

My sister read me this article about the difference of "what determines popularity" between our generation and the current high school students. When we were in JH and HS Facebook did not exist, no one had a cell phone (and if you did it was the "family" cell phone for emergency purposes only), so your popularity was determined by what table you sat at during lunch (for example). Now, popularity is determined by how many likes you get on a status update or a picture.

The irony is that Mel and I suddenly realized that we also care too much about our "likes!" She's into photography, for example. She's figured out settings, took a class, and the photo's she creates and edits take her a lot of time and effort. So the moment she posts a picture, she's checking how many people like it. My thing is writing. I'm constantly checking my blog "stats" or Facebook "likes" to see what people think of it. When we admitted these things out loud, we laughed at how ridiculous it sounded, but we totally understood why kids are becoming upset over their status "popularity."

For some reason my last few status updates have been at the setting "only me" which means only I can see it on my timeline. First of all, I don't know why that option even exists; it's a social network for petes sake! Secondly, I found myself super bummed that not one person, not even one, "liked" it. I was having this inner turmoil - did I offend people? Am I pushing friends away by what I say or post? I found myself feeling guilty for sharing stuff I found that supported my political beliefs or religious views. I was honestly asking myself if people were sick of my blog, or sick of me.

And then I heard this inner voice, "I need a break from Facebook."

And then the devil's advocate voice shot back, "yeah, but you like Facebook to keep up with your friends and family who literally live all over the world!"

And then the other inner voice laughed, "HA!"

Facebook was becoming my "popularity" contest. Instead of using my blog and Facebook to "keep up" with friends and family on our daily life and glorifying God through it, I was becoming prideful. The setting "only me" was the wake up call I needed. It was God's way of telling me to take a chill pill, focus on HIM and HIS WORD, and truly (from my inner most being) glorify Him.

The thing is... I struggle with that daily... because I am a selfish sinner. So I deleted Facebook from my phone. I will continue to write in my blog and to visit the blogs I love, but I will not post my blog on Facebook or check my stats. I don't know how long this will be, I'll start with today and go from there, but if you want to read what I post, subscribe to my blog.

I have to apologize to you, my Facebook friends, because I do not want to come across as a person who "has it all together". I am weak. I am a sinner. I am selfish. BUT I am growing and learning and I desire the satisfaction of my Lord and Savior only. I have to stop caring about what the world thinks, and quite frankly, that starts with Facebook.

I don't want to stay away from Facebook forever, because that's where my family and friends are, but that should be my only reason for being on it. With that said, I'm sorry Facebook friends for being obsessed with what you think of my status updates, political rantings, and Instagram posts. I need to focus instead on what God thinks. And that means a break from Facebook. I'm realizing that it's going to be hard because when I feed Brielle Facebook is the first place I go, so pray for me as I take on this challenge, that I learn the lesson that I truly believe God is trying to teach me: that He is truly #1 in my heart and that I care only what He thinks of me.