Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Tuesday's Top Ten [Most Embarrassing Moments]

I will argue that my embarrassing stories are hard to beat... especially number 3, or 5, oooooooor 10....

1. At one of my best friends wedding the entire wedding party was getting their picture taken at the end of these fantastic set of stairs. As one of the bride's personal attendants we were asked to join them for a picture. Those that know me know I'm not the most graceful being on the face of the planet, skipped at least two steps, flashed the entire wedding party my underwear and landed on my face. The other personal attendant in front of me, who is thankfully a close friend, didn't know she was trying to assist me as I grabbed her butt in a desperate attempt to catch myself.

2. Don't hit "reply all" in an email or you might be guilty of calling a professor you don't like, a name you should never, ever say out loud OR in your head. Instead of apologizing, (and to my everlasting shame) I desperately tried to cover it up.

3.  In the middle of an IEP meeting (which lasted especially long) I was pregnant (first trimester), tired, thirsty, hungry, and my back ached like a mother. I desperately needed to pop it, so I decided, why not? (I could give you a list of reasons why self-control is important in instances like these....) One such reason: As I reached my hands behind my back, felt the pop, breathed a sigh of relief, a button quite literally POPPED off my jacket and hit the Special Education Coordinator right in the face. Thank GOODNESS she hysterically laughed about it, but I was humiliated. What's worse is that I had a hard time controlling my giggles at that point, but I seriously think it was because I was on the verge of tears. (I even peed a little.)

4.  Kyle and I have a secret husband and wife "bucket list". Yeah, it's no longer secret. My dad accidentally found it. And by accidentally, I mean I'm an idiot and left it out in plain sight.

5. One night as I was coaching basketball before parent/teacher conferences I didn't have time to change into coaching clothes before the conferences started, so I tried coaching in heals, skirt, jacket, pantie hose, etc. Bad idea. In my frustration I decided to show the girls how to do something, tripped and fell. At least it was a girls team because they all knew the color of my underwear. (Sigh.)

6. I peed my pants when I was in the THIRD grade because I was wearing a full body suit and couldn't get it unbuttoned quickly enough, so I stayed in the stall and SCREAMED. Seriously. (And I've often wondered why my 1 year old is a drama queen already....)

7. My first year of teaching I made this BRILLIANT decision to carry around a shortened pool noodle; because I thought it was a neat idea to point at things with it and when I wanted extra emphasis I'd smack it on the table (those things make a loud POPPING sound). One of my students decided to try and take it from me by reaching between my legs and yanking up. My knee jerk reaction was to turn around and hit whatever had violated me as hard as I possibly could; thankfully I hit him with the noodle and not my fist. I'm also extremely grateful that my principal told him he would've hit him with more than a noodle and that his parents were angry at him and not me. (Whew.) Still, lesson learned. Rule #1: No noodles allowed.

8. During a test drive (with a bug) I stalled the car in the middle of a busy Fort Collins intersection and it would NOT start after that. I killed the battery. As someone drove by he so kindly yelled out the window, "Don't buy THAT car!" Yeah, thanks for the advice.

9. When I worked for the YMCA in Beatrice, NE Little Big Town came to the county fair to perform. I was a HUGE Little Big Town fan, especially of their hit "Boondocks." Well, they decided to work out at the YMCA where my best friend and I worked at the time. We had just taken the kids swimming so I was in my suit with a towel wrapped around my waist. When I saw them I was naturally excited, took off running to tell my best friend, tripped, and fell flat on my face. Hey, we got free back stage passes and their autographs. I don't know if it's because they felt sorry for me or not, but it was a fun night despite that one particular moment.

10. The first time I met an ex-boyfriend's family, his grandmother asked me to help her take a fleece pull over jacket off. "Of course!" Easy right? Well, she was wearing a silky shirt underneath and with the dry Colorado air it stuck right to the jacket. So instead of simply helping her pull off her jacket, I pulled off her shirt as well. At first I didn't realize it and began folding her jacket to put it away, until I heard her scream, "BECKY!" I wish I could say that it was as easy to put it on as it was to take it off. I was shaky, sweaty, humiliated and so was she! What's worse is that the entire family was there to witness it.

I was reminded of one of those stories recently and decided that I might as well share some of my worst moments. Do you know what's sad? It wasn't hard coming up with 10 embarrassing stories. Yup, every single story is 100% true and yes, they all belong to me. I had to share them because I think it's important to laugh at yourself and to be transparent. Not one person on the face of the planet is perfect, least of all me.


  1. These are too funny! I'm impressed you can remember so many things, I try to forget those right after they happen! But you've had some good ones :)