Friday, December 7, 2012

Stay-at-Home Mom Benefits

Having a stay-at-home mom job doesn't make you rich, add to your savings, checking, and retirement accounts, or provide insurance and cash holiday bonuses, but it has it's fair share of benefits and rewards. I truly feel this is what I was meant to do at this point in my life. It was so hard giving up my teaching job, but now I can't even begin to imagine leaving her for someone else to take care of 8 hours a day. I'd miss SO much! Not everyone is able to do this, but the only thing that was really holding us back was a worry over finances and that I loved my job. Well... God tells us we shouldn't worry about clothes, or food, or what tomorrow my bring because He promised that He will take care of us.
"Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you..." Psalm 55:22
"It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sheep." Psalm 127:2
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" Matthew 6:25-26
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
Granted I can't say the worry isn't there. We are struggling with unexpectedly high medical bills and giving that worry over to the Lord isn't easy. I will walk through the fire if He so pushes me into it, but I can't say that I'm enjoying it or that I'm finding it easy to trust in Him. Is my faith growing? Absolutely! Do I doubt our decision? Absolutely not.

As far teaching, I know that when my children are all in school, I can pick it back up and have the same hours as they do. I'm looking forward to that day, however, I'm most looking forward to teaching my daughter her ABC's, colors, shapes, the joy of books, the art of craft making, putting together puzzles, playing with toys, EVERY DAY, and not be stressed about getting dinner on the table, keeping my house clean and organized, and enjoying every minute I have with my precious daughter. I read what one working mom said about the home and children, "you can't expect perfection." Well, when I do something it's all or nothing. I'm passionate. I dive in head first. I would expect perfection and knowing myself I would've been stressed out with all the time I didn't have with her. I mean I'd be at school from 7:30 to 4 every day. That's 8 1/2 hours I miss with her (x5) and that's 42 1/2 hours during the week I'm missing. Before bed time I'd get, what, about 4 hours? That's about 20 hours I'd get with her during the week! When I sat down and did the math, it was totally not worth it to me. Time goes by so fast, so I'm not going to waste it by thinking I need to earn more money. The only stuff from this earth I can take with me to heaven are the one's that believe in Jesus as their savior and my memories. So I'm going to make tons of them and thank God for the blessings he bestows on us daily. Besides GOD gives and He takes away, who knows what He has in store for us, even if we did have two incomes, so I'm going to follow what I believe is the right thing to do for our family and raising Godly children. Those things happen at home with mom and dad. I truly do not believe that a teacher, pastor, family member, etc. are responsible for teaching my child the values of upright and Godly living. It takes a community of teachers, pastors, and family members to REINFORCE what's already taught at home every minute of every day.

There. That's my soap box.

Lastly, Kyle made my decision easy because he felt like it was what we needed to do and he told me, "Becky, you can always go back to teaching, but you'll never have these first years of our daughters life back." My hubby is wise. :)

Now that I've been doing it for a couple of months, focusing only on my recovery and my baby girl, I've found that the benefits are WAY better than I ever imagined. So what are they?

Here are a few of my Stay-at-Home Mom Benefits:
  1. Her first smile was in the middle of the day. She rolled from her tummy to her back during the middle of the day. She started cooing on a weekday, yup, in the middle of the day. (I won't miss her firstS!)
  2. Her fussy time is usually in the evenings and at night. I would've been getting home around 4 just in time for that. It's easy to handle her fussy time when I get beautiful smiles and play time during the day, but if that's all I saw of her during the week. Ugh, no fun.
  3. She has this weird sleep habit that we've been working on (setting up a schedule during the day, finding out what's giving her gas, etc.) where she fights sleep from 10 pm till about 1-4 in the morning. She's stayed up screaming until 5 am one night. It was exhausting, especially when this happened multiple times during the week. I would NOT have survived JH students and I would not have been able to use the day trying to get her in a schedule or understanding the difference between day and night. That would not have been a fair task to ask of a day care provider who has many other children to care for as well. Plus it took at least 3 or 4 days to get this down, I could not have done it in a weekend. And just when I thought we were getting a routine down, she up and decides to spend every night this week awake between 10 and 1 am. Grrr... starting over! It's hard enough with out a job. So I can't imagine doing it with one! 
  4. I would not have been able to handle baby (late nights, grumpy times, etc.), laundry, house cleaning/remodeling, recovery from 2 surgery's AND a full time job. Um, those who know me know I'm not that organized to handle it all at once without losing my mind in all the chaos. Thankfully I have an amazing hubby that would help with all of that, but still....
  5. I do not have to wake her up at 6 am to feed her, get her dressed, me showered, and out the door to be to school by 7:30 every morning. I have a hard enough time getting myself out the door.
  6. I do not have to hide in a corner at school to pump.
  7. I can give her full one-on-one attention all day, which is virtually impossible for a busy day care provider. In fact, I wouldn't expect them to give that kind of attention to MY CHILD, ALL DAY. How selfish does that sound?
  8. I don't have to worry about taking time off or preparing for a sub last minute if my child happens to get sick.
  9. Every teacher has work to take home. It's impossible to get everything done during a short planning period. Especially when you encourage students to come in for help before and after school, or have meetings, or practices for basketball and track, etc. Life as a teacher is CRAZY.
  10. Then when Kyle and I decide to add another child to our life, I don't have a hubby, 2 children, AND a job to worry about. Life is much simpler.
  11. One day care provider told me that she spends time every day teaching one of her kiddo's that she is not his mommy. The moment she told me that, it reinforced the fact that I was making the best decision. That would break my heart.
If you're on the fence, trying to decide what to do I'd definitely advise staying at home. If you're a single parent, there's nothing you can do about it, so do NOT feel guilty. If you seriously cannot afford to stay home, believe me, I understand. The last thing I want to do is say that you're doing the wrong thing by being a working mom or dad. I do not know your situation, I cannot make your financial decisions, I know nothing of the conversation between you and your spouse. This was our decision based on SO MUCH prayer, debate, discussion, and advice from trusted family and friends. It was not an easy one to make by any means.

Despite the difficulties, the benefits of being a stay-at-home mommy for our family far outweigh what money can provide and I'm so glad we made the decision we made.


  1. Believe me, you have made the right decision. I was glad I could spend those early years with my children too!