Thursday, November 6, 2014

BecKyle, Bean and BABY!

The decision to add to our family came with trepidation. The butterflies haven't entirely disappeared as we make this announcement, but I can tell you they are in part excitement and unease. We desperately wanted to add to our family, but we also debated on whether or not it was worth the risk.

Honestly, I wasn't expecting Kyle to want another child for many, many years (that is until this vivid memory of carrying me to the ambulance was muddied a tad). The "baby" conversation gave him memories of a day he'll never forget. Memories he describes in such detail that it gives me goosebumps. To him, memories of carrying his gray-skinned, non-breathing wife to the ambulance - covered in her blood - was enough to confidently say, "no more babies." That was why I never pushed the issue.

So it was little things that put the idea in his brain -- like a vintage wooden high chair given to us by some dear friends. Or the prodding of our pastor who discipled Kyle. And it was most definitely the result of this one prayer we shared that makes me cry even as I recount it to you,

(Taken directly from my Thank You Journal.)

"Thank you for our incredible tear filled prayer in asking to fully trust in You, Lord. You know the day we breath our first and our last. To be able to rest in Your Sovereign Hand is so freeing of worry over what could be or what could happen. Kyle's prayer broke my heart, "Lord, I don't want to live this life without my wife, but if that's your plan for me - give me strength." BUT it also warmed my heart. It's amazing what October 1, 2012 did for us. It scared Kyle to death, but it also forced us to fully and wholeheartedly trust You - no matter what. So in this decision to try for a baby help us to trust You and Your Sovereignty - no matter what. AND thank You Lord for this beautiful moment with my husband that I'll never forget: this prayer and how it drew us closer to YOU!"

The likelihood of that day repeating itself is highly unlikely, but that day planted real fears. We are desperately trying to give our fears to God so that we can glorify Him in this journey no matter the outcome. I am EXTREMELY excited to share this journey with you! I'm also asking for your prayers, that God calms Kyle's heart (and my own) so that we can joyfully welcome this little one into our lives. 

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