Thursday, July 14, 2016

"Becky, I knew you when..."

Recently I have been bombarded with reminders of my past. It's from the most random places, like shopping in our local Dollar General where the lady checking us out was a former bartender and made some comment about my crazy days, or when someone else I knew met up with someone I used to hang out with at the bar, mentioning my name and my former bar days. My Facebook memory feed constantly reveals this former lifestyle and conversations with college classmates always seem to go back to those days. It's going on 10 years since graduating from college and since then so much has happened to change the way I think and the way I live. If you read my testimony you'll understand what I mean about my partying, promiscuous lifestyle.

You may have known me then. You may even have a story to confirm everything I talked about in the first paragraph. But hear me now.

I'm ashamed of what I did. I hate who I once was. Without Jesus I was a selfish, lustful, haughty, boastful, disobedient, foolish, heartless, faithless, worldly, quitting, complaining, gossiping, hater of God. I cringed at the mention of His name and I was proud of my partying - so much so, that I encouraged others to join me in it.

It is through the power of the gospel that I am who I am today and the process of discipleship, where I have grown as a godly woman, and all that I have learned at church as we study book by book, verse by verse, word by word from the Bible. I am not who I once was.

I am reformed. I am being refined. And the more time I spend in God's Word the more I'll change and grow and learn so that in another 10 years I hope to look back at who I am now and say, "I am not who I once was."

I desperately want people to see Jesus when they look at me now. You may have known me then, and I am perfectly okay with that. But as you reflect on who I was way back when, focus in on who I am today and stand in awe of Jesus. Because I am changed, not as a result of anything I've done. On the contrary! It is the work of Christ alone. Read my testimony, understand who I was and what I did, more importantly, know that I want to be a living testimony of the saving grace of Jesus.

I am nothing without Him.

I might hear you tease, "Becky, I knew you when...". I'll smile (and cringe a little) but you'll hear me say, "Thank goodness for Jesus!"

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