You Know You Love Someone When...

Your baby changes your world. At least my baby changed mine. All the things I thought I'd never do, I'm doing. For a long time I thought I never wanted to be a mommy, well, now I wouldn't trade her for the world. She changed my perspective on life, enjoying the little things, and love. I didn't know I could love someone INSTANTLY. The moment I saw her, I loved her.... How do I know this?

Well, you know you love someone when...

• They scream in your ear and you don't scream back.
• You pick their nose for them.
• You don't get all squimish when you get their poop on yourself.
• You don't puke when they puke.
• You don't hold a grudge for hurting you, in fact, you basically forget it all when you look into their face.
• They keep you up all night, instead of hating them, you wonder how you can help them, despite your pure and utter exhaustion.
• You stare at their face, for hours at a time.
• You can't get enough pictures of that beautiful face.
• You want to share those beautiful pictures with EVERYONE.
• They smile, your heart literally melts.
• They coo, what's left of your heart melts even further.
• The simplest little things they do make you proud, make you giggle, or tear up, and force you to call relatives, friends, and daddy at work to tell them about it.
• You do everything you can to help them relieve gas and poop - tummy massage, bringing their knees to their chest, etc. - and when they finally do release the pressure that's been causing so much anxiety, you're so proud and you tell them so, over and over again!

Haha, and so many of those reasons were the reasons I didn't want to have kids in the first place! And the thing is, this could be an exhaustive list! I have so many, many reasons to love my little Briella Bean and when I think back on this list, even the not-so-fun parts, I know for sure, that I absolutely, positively wouldn't trade her for the world. I know I love her, lots and lots, bunches and bunches.

Isn't she just precious? =)

Month One & All Her Firsts

One month of being a mother has brought more tears, smiles, love, and laughter into my life than I ever thought possible. It's been a month full of ups and downs. Mostly ups. My little Briella Bean is the sweetest thing and I can't wait to share a few of the ups from the first month of her life, with you.

First, the story behind Briella Bean... one morning we woke up to a particularly fussy baby. I fed her, Daddy changed her diaper, I rocked her, Daddy cuddled with her, we gave her a pacifier, nothing was working. I overheard Daddy coo, "Are you grumpy gills My Little Briella Bean?" and it stuck, we've been calling her that since.

First time meeting Poppy.

Going home outfit. Kyle picked it because it reminded him of Marley, who she met that day! :)

First time in the car seat, which she obviously hated. I forgot the car seat insert that kept her head from boppin' around, I felt SO bad!

First night at home in her crib, she looked so tiny!

First (sponge) bath (at home). Didn't like that either!

Snugglin' and Snoozin' in her Boppy Pillow.

 

Angry Face.

Sad Face.


 

In a Happy Place.



She's so expressive! She loves her tummy time and she loves the mirrors next to her changing table!

First time meeting Grandma Lowery.



First time meeting Aunt Sydnie!

First time meeting Grandma McHenry!

The first time she met Marley neither of them seemed to care about the other. Now Marley displays his jealousy by wanting attention every time I hold her. He occasionally sniffs her and will hang out with her on her blanket during tummy time. I'm sure they'll be best of friends, until that day I have two babies!

That's about as close as he'll get!

She's most definitely a daddy's girl!

Other than the fact that she has these odd, occasional wake times between 10 pm and 2-4 am. Or her distracted eating habits (she thinks she must check out every noise!). She's perfect. We love her even if she's a distracted eater or a strange sleeper. Words cannot describe how much we love her. Our lives are changed forever!

How to Deal with Life's Trials

One of my favorite songs by Ginny Owens is "If You Want Me To" because she wrote about how God doesn't promise an easy life, but He does promise to be there with us as we "go through the valley." Recently, I went through a life altering event and when I heard this song pop up on my play list today I was again praising God for being there with me as I experienced it.

I've had this incredible response from people who have read my story and were encouraged by God's faithfulness and could then see Him in their own story. With that said, I wanted to share how life's trials can strengthen you, your relationship with your family and friends, and most importantly with God. He is, after all, in control of it all, even the calamities. Answering the "why?" question will not always happen, because God's plan for our lives is beyond our own understanding, but it does help put things into perspective and glorify a God who is worthy of praise and we know we can trust HIM FULLY because He is unchanging!

If you read the story of Job, or read about King David's life, or the Israelites enslaved by the Egyptians, or any number of books and stories in the Bible you will find that through trials in life 1. God was glorified. 2. God is in control. 3. God was there with them. etc. etc. Notice how none of this revolves around us? The Bible is GOD CENTERED. So if these people of the past endured trials of various kinds with God shouldn't we do the same? Instead of cursing Him, or dwelling on the "why?" shouldn't we lean on HIM? He is stronger than we will ever be... ever.

How do you do that? Well, this is how I did it..

• Pray - The Psalms are an excellent example of how to do this. I relied on Psalm 143:8 after my experience and during my recovery:

  "Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."

• Worship Him through Song - The song by Ginny Owens is a perfect example of this. Even though I've had this song memorized since high school, listening to it again today blew me away. Which is why I was inspired to write this blog entry in the first place!
  

  "The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear.
  And I don't know the reason why you brought me here.
  But just because you love me the way that you do,
  I'm gonna walk through the valley, if you want me to.
  Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step,
  and I'm clinging to the promise you're not through with me yet.
  So with all of these trials bring me closer to you
  and I will go through the fire if you want me too.
  It may not be the way I would've chosen,
  when you lead me through a world that's not my home.
  But you never said it would be easy.
  You only said I'll never leave you alone.
  So when the whole word turns against me
  and I'm all by myself
  and I can't hear you answer my cries for help.
  I'll remember the suffering your love put you through
  and I will go through the valley if you want me to."

• Read His Word - We were asked if we wanted "assistance" of the counseling kind while we were still in the hospital. They had counselors in place for those who experience emergency situations like our own, or who go through postpartum depression. Don't get me wrong, those counselors have their place, but my response was this, "No thank you, I have the Bible for that!" The Bible is the only true source of truth we have in this world! Where else would I find answers to life's burning questions? God's knowledge far surpasses my own and He put the Bible here for us to read so we could gain SOME of His wisdom. So when I'm down, it's honestly one of the first places I want to go. If you read my blog about God's sovereignty you'll find how reading my Bible changed for me after my postpartum hemorrhaging experience. We almost lost our daughter - with every contraction her heart rate would drop dramatically - and afterwards I found myself obsessively checking on her. How did I deal with that? Through prayer and God's word. I knew I needed to trust HIM, he's in control anyway! When Paul was writing to the church in Rome, who was being persecuted by one of the worst Christian haters in history - Nero, a Roman Emperor, there's one verse I absolutely love and serves as a great reminder that no matter what life throws at us we cannot be seperated from the love of Jesus Christ,

  "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? ... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35-39

• Let Others Help You - God blessed me with amazing friends and family. Through this entire process I've learned that I have quite the support group!  My family bought us a new bed, our church family provided us with meals, more people than I can possibly count have offered prayers, flowers, chocolate, phone calls, messages of support, you name it, we got it. I'm so thankful for all of it and I know there will be a time when God will ask me to "pay it forward...." So take advantage. God put these people in your life for a reason. Call them, ask them for help, don't try to be strong by yourself. If you need help, the people who love you will gladly give it.
• Talk about it. Write about it. Get it out! - I found that talking about what happened with my family and especially with my husband helped me understand each event and see God at work through it all. It amazed me, when Kyle would mention something that happened, I would say, "Isn't it amazing how God worked that out?!" I also wrote about it here because writing is like therapy for me. Keeping it bottled up and brooding over it is not healthy. When you're ready, go to those people who God blessed you with, and talk about it. It's like a weight lifted off your shoulders; that's how I felt anyway.

God's Almighty Sovereignty

If it wasn't already picture-perfect clear after all the events that occurred in our life this year, reading the Bible has reaffirmed the fact that God is most definitely in control. My sister joked that I had a birth plan written down exactly how I thought it should go, or how I wanted it to go, but God stepped in and told me in not so many words, "Becky, I'M IN CONTROL. Deal with it." I honestly thought, due to the fact that both my mom and sister had their first children without emergency, that "it wouldn't happen to me." Boy was I ever wrong. So after the birth of our daughter, and the postpartum hemorrhaging emergency I experienced, I picked up my Bible and began reading it again. God opened my eyes to His sovereignty. I was blown away by what His word says about His sovereign hand!

I am 100% positive that God's word has TONS more to say about God's sovereignty, but this is what has been revealed to me since the life changing events that took place recently.

• Job is a man who lost everything. And through his tragedy and loss he continued to worship God! He has friends, however, that come into his life to try and tell him that because of his great sin these things have happened, but one man, Elihu proclaims differently,

  "... he does great things that we cannot comprehend. For to the snow he says, 'Fall on the earth,' likewise to the downpour, his might downpour. He seals up the hand of every man, that all men who he made may know it. Then the beasts go into their lairs, and remain in their dens. From its chamber comes the whirlwind, and cold from the scattering winds. By the breath of God ice is given, and the broad waters are frozen fast. He loads the think cloud with moisture; the clouds scatter his lightening. They turn around and around by his guidance, to accomplish all that he commands them on the face of the habitable world. Whether for correction or for his land or for love, he causes it to happen." Job 37: 5-13

  Elihu asks this phenomenal question in verse 18 of the same chapter, "

  Can you, like him, spread out the skies, hard as a cast metal mirror?"

  What makes man think that we are of his equal? What makes us think that "God wouldn't let this happen!" when in fact, because of his almighty purpose, which is totally unknown to us, He DOES make it happen. Whether it's for correction, for his land, for love.... HE CAUSES IT TO HAPPEN. So why? That I do not know. But think about Elihu's question, Did you create the heavens and the earth from nothing? Do you know what will happen tomorrow, a month, year, or decades from now? If you do, you can create the rules, until then you live in HIS world for HIS glory. There is none like Him, He is the beginning and the end. Once I realized that, it was far easier to worship Him in all His majesty. It was far easier to breathe a sigh of relief knowing that I can trust in Him because He is unchanging and perfect, sooooooo unlike myself! If I try to rely on my own strength, my own will, me, my, I... my life is filled with drama and imperfections. BUT once I let go and let God - because it's going to happen anyway - I find an unfathomable peace about the events in my life.
  
  What's even better about the story of Job is God's response,

  "Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements - surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?" Job 38:4-7

  "Have you commanded the morning since your days began, and caused the dawn to know its place, that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth, and the wicked be shaken out of it?" Job 38: 12-13

  
  

  "Have you entered the storehouses of the snow, or have you seen the storehouses of the hail, which I have reserved for the time of trouble, for the day of battle and war?" Job 38:22-23

  "Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades or loose the cords of Orion? Can you lead forth the Mazzaroth in their season, or can you guide the Bear with its children? Do you know the ordinances of the heavens? can you establish their rule on the earth? Can you lift up your voice to the clouds, that a flood of waters may cover you? can you send forth lightnings, that they may go and say to you, 'Here we are'?" Job 38:31-35

  God continues to ask questions like this all through chapters 38 and 39. I highlighted quite a few favorites, but I only shared a few. Wow! God is amazing! And so is Job's response,

  "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted." Job 42:2

  That is what I choose to believe as well.
• Psalm 147 is an excellent Psalm that speaks numbers on why we should praise Him,
  

  "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understand is beyond measure." Psalm 147:3-4

  "He covers the heaves with clouds; he prepares rain for the earth; he makes grass grow on the hills. He gives to the beasts their food, and to the young ravens that cry." Psalm 147:8-9

  "He sends out his command to the earth; his word runs swiftly. He gives snow like wool; he scatters hoarfrost like ashes. He hurls down his crystals of ice like crumbs; who can stand before his cold? He sends out his word, and melts them; he makes his wind blow and the waters flow." Psalm 147:15-18

  How can it be more clear than that?
• Well, read Proverbs!
  

  "The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble." Proverbs 16:1-4

  That last sentence that I underlined, bolded, and italicized, blew me away.... It doesn't end there...
  

  "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." Proverbs 19:21

  "A man's steps are from the Lord; how then can man understand his way?" Proverbs 20:24

  "The king's heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will. Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart." Proverbs 21:1-2 (This is a great one when thinking about our political drama...)

  "No wisdom, no understanding, no counsel can avail against the Lord. The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord." Proverbs 21:30-31

  God knew what would happen to me even as I planned a med-free delivery. Even as I sat at home trying to recover afterwards, God did everything in HIS PERFECT TIMING. I can praise Him for that!
• The story of Moses also speaks loudly to God's sovereignty. I mean who else would've planned that Moses be saved from Pharaoh's commandment to kill all the male Jewish children by putting him in a basket, sending him down the Nile, having the daughter of Pharaoh find him, then asked Moses' own sister to bring a woman (his own mother) to breast feed him?! Um... sounds like God's hand to me! Then Moses flees Egypt, only for God to call him back again. Moses resists by saying he is slow of speech, God's response is amazing,
  

  "Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak." Exodus 4:11-12

  As the story progresses Moses and Aaron travel to Egypt to ask Pharaoh to let God's people go, but God tells Moses,
  

  "When you go back to Egypt, see that you do before Pharaoh all the miracles that I have put in your power. But I will harden his heart, so that he will not let the people go." Exodus 4:21

   He says that over and over again throughout this story, "I will harden his heart." like in verse 7:3-5,
  

  "I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and though I multiply my signs and wonders in the land of Egypt, Pharaoh will not listen to you. Then I will lay my hand on Egypt and bring my hosts, my people the children of Israel, out of the land of Egypt by great acts of judgment. The Egyptians shall know that I am the Lord, when I stretch out my hand against Egypt and bring out the people of Israel from among them."

   or again in Exodus 9:14-16,
  

  "... I will send all my plagues on you yourself, and on your servants and your people, so that you may now that there is none like me in all the earth. For by now I could have put out my hand and struck you and your people with pestilence, and you would have been cut off from the earth. But for this purpose I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth."

  When they were finally released by Pharaoh, Moses said to the Israelites,
  

  "Remember this day in which you came out from Egypt, out of the house of slavery, for by a strong hand the Lord brought you out from this place." Exodus 13:3

   Everything the Lord did, was for his glory! He destroyed Egypt with gnats, bloody water, frogs, disease, because He wanted everyone to know that He is the ONLY GOD and it was made pretty obvious that HE IS IN CONTROL!
  

  "I will get glory over Pharaoh and all his host, his chariots, and his horsemen. And the Egyptians shall know that I am the Lord, when I have gotten glory over Pharaoh, his chariots, and his horsemen." Exodus 14:17-18

  And that's when God swept them away by the Red Sea.
• So I am at peace because I have a God who knows the day I take my last breath. I have nothing to fear because He has promised me that if I believe in my heart and confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord, I will be saved (Romans 10:9). I will dwell in His glory someday. I won't put my trust in the things of this world. I will rely on Him alone for He is in control,
  

  "The Lord is my Shepard; I shall not want. HE MAKES me lie down in green pastures. HE LEADS me beside still waters. HE RESTORES my soul. HE LEADS me in paths of righteousness FOR HIS NAME'S SAKE. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. YOU PREPARE a table before me in the presence of my enemies; YOU ANOINT my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23

   Even when I am not experiencing "goodness and mercy," when God chooses to send me through the fire, I will put my trust in HIM because I know that one day soon, I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. His understanding of the events in my life far surpasses my own understanding. I may ask "why?"now, but I have no doubts that someday God's almighty purpose will be made known and I will look back and say, "wow!"

God's sovereignty continues to amaze me.

My Flight For Life

Lately it seems I have a plethora of topics to write about here... hopefully this is the last of the scary stories involving my baby's birth, but if not, this set of events have shown me in more ways than I can count who's in control. God is amazing and as each piece of this story unfolds I hope you see His faithfulness and steadfast love that He lavished on Kyle and I.

On Monday morning I woke up around 5:30 to a tremendous amount of bleeding. I called my doctor and told her that despite the bleeding I felt good, no dizziness, the bleeding had slowed significantly, I was hungry, etc. etc. I lost enough blood that we suspected postpartum hemorrhaging, but my lack of other symptoms suggested something else, so she advised me to keep a close eye on it.

A couple hours later I had more bleeding and decided to tell my mother-in-law, who was up to meet her granddaughter and is a nurse, what was going on. I felt a tad tired and decided to take a nap.

Later (and I can't tell you times here because this is where I lose part of the story) she heard me making "strange noises" and came in to check on me. At this time she said I was difficult to wake up and when I did finally wake up I was sweaty and bleeding heavily and constantly. She tried to get me up to use the restroom and I made it about half way out of bed before she decided to dial 911.

In this whole process we were desperately trying to get ahold of Kyle and my mother, who was also up to visit. Apparently I was incoherent enough that I was struggling to answer basic questions, like my own age. When my mom finally did show up I remember asking for Brielle. I honestly thought I was saying good-bye. So I kissed her, told her I loved her and thought that was the last time I was going to see her beautiful face. Deep down I knew that it was not normal to be losing the amount of blood I felt coming out of me, I really thought I was dieing.

When the EMT's showed I remember them asking me to sit up so I could sit in a wheel chair and that's the last thing I remember in this chunk of the story.... I remember telling them, "Whoa, I feel dizzy..." and then nothing...

So this next section is filled in by my mother and Kyle....

Mom said that the moment they tried to get me up and put me in the chair, my arms seized up and I was out. She seriously thought I was having a seizure. She described the event as "creepy" because my arms stiffened straight to my face, fingers crooked, and my eyes were fixated on the ceiling. They immediately moved me to the bed, I went into shock, and they gave me a few rescue breaths. After this mom said the EMT staff left me to try and get the gurney into the house! Leaving me with my Mom and mother-in-law, my eyes fixated again, I stopped breathing again, and both mom and Tammy gave me a hard sternum rub and I "came to." They did everything they could to keep me coherent at this point.

By this time Kyle came home and I do remember seeing him and saying his name over and over again, and him telling me to calm down and breathe. Since they couldn't get the gurney into the house they tried again to move me to the chair and I passed out... again.

Kyle told them he was going to carry me out. So that's what he did.

I remember him carrying me out and talking to me, but I don't really remember anything about the ambulance ride except looking at Kyle's face. Kyle told me that I didn't even look human,

"You were gray, cold, and clammy!"

When I finally showed up in the emergency room they gave me fluids, tried getting two IV's in me (which was impossible), and did everything they could to warm me up.

Mom said, "It was weird because you were sweating and yet ice cold."

Later one of the nurses, who also goes to our church, told me, "Becky, the only time I've ever seen anyone the color you were that day, were dead." Hearing those statements brought me to my knees in thanksgiving that I'm still here.

When the flight for life people showed up I was alert, but exhausted. The process from getting me from the emergency room, to the ambulance, to the helicopter seemed to take forever, because they couldn't get an IV in me. They finally found a vain in my neck, which was the most uncomfortable place to have an IV, but by the end I didn't care as long as they stopped poking me with needles! During all of this our pastor came and prayed with us, I had the chance to talk to my mom and Kyle, and I had hope in the fact that I might actually live.

As I was finally being loaded into the helicopter all I could see was the sky. Immediately the song, Indescribable by Chris Tomlin came into my head. I began singing and praising God for His majesty and the fact that I had LIVED up to this point! I'll be completely honest, singing helped, but I was scared of either losing my uterus or dieing. I didn't want to miss out on my daughters life, I wanted to grow old with Kyle, I still wanted the option of having other children with him, but I was also at peace with dieing. I was going to meet Jesus! How many times had I listened to Mercy Me's song I Can Only Imagine and wondered what I would do in that moment? It is something I look forward to, so instead of praying for me, because I had nothing to fear, I began praying for Kyle, Brielle and my family. I begged God to wrap His loving arms around THEM because I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that if I were to die He'd be welcoming me into His loving arms. Do you know how hard it is to even type that? I have my doubts, I felt weak, and fearful. Even as I type it I wonder how sincere I was in that moment. Only God knows my heart, but I can tell you He was worth praising on that day because the unknown was scary, but God gave me a peace I cannot describe and I look back at each piece of this story and see God's hand at work. Some people may ask, why would God let this happen? I ask instead, what if God wasn't there? What if His sovereign hand wasn't in control? Where would I be if God wasn't in each piece of this story? The Lord, after all, knows the day we first breathe and the day we breathe our last.

"... He will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forever more." Psalm 121:8

He is my keeper. He is worthy of praise!

"Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8

The moment I let go and trusted God with my life, I was at peace. He's indescribable!

God was even in the cramped helicopter ride. I didn't let myself think about how small of a space they put me into, otherwise I would have gone claustrophobic. I wouldn't call the entire experience a fun one either because I was laying on a board, my butt was cramping, and I was dizzy. The board was not very wide so I kept feeling like I was falling off and my butt kept cramping. So they would tell me to clinch my butt cheeks. Well that helped the cramping, but it didn't help me relax. The moment I relaxed my butt would start cramping and I'd feel like I was falling off again. Ugh. It was a long twenty-five minutes. BUT I kept singing....

Once I arrived I remember someone asking the flight for life staff how much blood I lost and their only reply was, "Buckets." Apparently I continued to lose blood on the ride to Cheyenne. They were pumping blood into me as quickly as I lost it. I received one unit on the flight, two units during surgery, two units after surgery, and two units of plasma. I don't think I have a drop of my own blood left inside me! (That's not counting what they gave me ten days earlier after giving birth! Am I ever so grateful for people who donate blood - I wonder how many people helped save my life?)

They ordered an ultrasound where they discovered a little piece of placenta had attached itself to my uterine wall and was reeking havoc. They decided to perform a D&C where they would clean out my uterus vaginally, however, that didn't stop the bleeding so they had to reopen me. Once the piece of placenta was removed, I began bleeding heavily again because the blood vessel the placenta had attached itself to had burst, and that's when they had to give me more blood. So a forty-five minute surgery lasted two hours.

When I woke up I was in a lot of pain, BUT I WOKE UP! The sweetest part about waking up was going to my room to find my family waiting in the hallway for me. I can't even describe to you the immense feeling of love I had toward each individual waiting there for me to recover. Still, the sweetest part was seeing my husband holding our beautiful baby daughter. I seriously thought I was leaving them behind and seeing them brought a wave of emotion through me that is beyond words. It was a sweet, emotional moment where I thanked God for blessing me with an amazing family.

I look back on the chain of events and can only thank God that His hand was in it all. How awesome is it that Kyle's mom, an RN, was there to wake me up?! How incredible is it that this is the week my mom and sister Mandy are here so they can help care for things around the house, and me?! How amazing is it that I received messages from around the world stating prayers were being sent my way?! The timing is even amazing. Kyle and I had been talking about getting a new mattress, but decided to wait because of finances. Welp, this incident pushed that to the forefront of our "need to do" list (I bled clear through the mattress onto the box spring), so we had talked about tapping into our savings account and just spending the money. The mattress was ruined, we didn't have a choice. The same day we had this conversation our family called and said, "We're buying you a new bed. Kyle needs to go shopping with us." AND our house was destroyed not just because of construction, but because of this emergency situation, but we walked in to a spic-n-span home and a brand new bed and sheets. My sister-in-law Sam even saved our quilt my Aunt Marie made us as a wedding gift! I thought it was a goner. We have an amazing family and we serve an amazing God. He knew our needs (and wants) and He met them!

I can't tell you how good I feel compared to the ten days of "recovery" before experiencing postpartum hemorrhaging. I didn't even realize I was sick. Yes, the road to recovery is now an even longer one, BUT I'M ALIVE! And I thank God for My Flight For Life because I am closer to Him now than I ever was, the love for my husband is once again even stronger than it was before, my baby girl is a little piece of heaven, my family loves me and has blessed me far more than you can imagine, and I have friends that are willing to stop what they're doing, get on their knees and pray. I truly understand what it means to store up heavenly treasures. Jesus taught that lesson and I encourage you to read it all, not just what I summed up here...

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and dust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. ... Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ... seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:25-34

My God and Savior Jesus Christ chose a different day for me to die, until that day I will glorify HIM for this moment in my life and thank Him for blessing me with these eternal "things" like family and friends and HIS abundant grace!