Book of the Week [Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers]

I do not typically recommend love stories. When I wrote a top ten recommending romances, I struggled coming up with 10 worth recommending, but this one made my all-time favorites list (and there are only 7 on that list). I've read many, many excellent books, but there aren't many that challenge my thinking, affect me emotionally, teach me, and entertain all at once. This book is all that and more!

Every woman needs to read this book!

There are not many books I take the time to read more than once. The is one such book. The second time through was even better than the first time. The first time I read it quickly in an effort to find out what was going to happen next; I can hardly stand not knowing how the story will end and this one definitely has a one of a kind ending worth talking about! It is, by far, my favorite part of the book. Without giving too much away, I will just say that it a beautiful picture for believers as we stand unashamed before Christ because of His incredible, never-ending, abounding love for His own.

Read my review here and then read it for yourself.

Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant Book Review

Allegiant by Veronica Roth
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Veronica Roth, if you ever read this review (ha) take what I say next as a compliment, if I ever meet you I'd pull a Dauntless and punch you in the face.

Seriously.

Reason being? I LOVED these books and highly recommend them to any and all readers. However, take the advice of two of my former students, "Prepare for severe emotional trauma." (Hence the reason for wanting to "punch her in the face" for getting me emotionally involved in a fictional story... ugh...) If you're anything like me, you fall in love with the characters authors introduce you to, or you hate them. In my case I have a serious dislike for Tris and I LOVE the character Tobias. I think the traits I most admire in people and in characters (based on my original top ten character list) is loyalty, devotion, sensibility, and selflessness and all those traits describe Tobias.

PLUS, Veronica Roth is a Christian. In each book her first acknowledgement goes to God and His promises. Also, she inserts Biblical truth throughout this story: depravity, life after death, devotion, God's sovereignty and our inferiority.

Depravity? 
Depravity is the abandonment of all things good. Because of our sin, things will not get better. It's a fact of life. There is no good in people except from God. (That's Romans 1-3.) It's evident Roth understands this Biblical truth in her writing,

"One of the lines I remember from the Dauntless manifesto is, 'We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.'"Will sighs.He doesn't need to say anything else. I know what he means. Maybe Dauntless was formed with good intentions, with the right ideals and the right goals. But it has strayed far from them. And the same is true of Erudite, I realize. A long time ago, Erudite pursued knowledge and ingenuity for the sake of doing good. Now they pursue knowledge and ingenuity with greedy hearts. I wonder of the other factions suffer from the same problem. I have not thought about it before.Despite the depravity I see in Dauntless, though, I could not leave it. It isn't only because the thought of living faction less, in complete isolation, sounds like a fate worse than death. It is because, in the brief moments that I have loved it here, I saw a faction worth saving. Maybe we can become brave and honorable again." (p. 140-141, Divergent)

When Tris receives peace serum, which makes her loopy, Tobias states to the Amity leader that she must give all Amity members the serum in order to keep peace because...

"I'm not an idiot. Every member of your community has trouble keeping the peace, because their all human...." (p.63, Insurgent)

We are such dirty, rotten sinners that we want nothing to do with God. (Again, that's Romans ch.3.) In fact, Paul quotes Scripture that states, "No one seeks for God. No one understands." Scripture states that our "throats are open graves" and we seek destruction. There is nothing good in us because we are sinners. As a result we deserve death. BUT while we were still sinners, Christ died for us, and our faith in Him is our ONE AND ONLY ticket to heaven. (Romans 5:8) Isn't that an amazing gift?

Life After Death? 
Tris' (Beatrice) thoughts on life after death:

"I don't believe that what comes after depends on anything I do at all." (p. 379, Insurgent) 

Nope, it doesn't. Salvation is a free gift of God through faith in Jesus Christ alone. By believing in the gospel (that Jesus lived, died, rose again, and is seated at the right hand of God all according to Scripture) is our gift of salvation. That's it. By confessing and believing that Jesus is Lord, that He is who He said He was, we are saved from an eternity in hell. It doesn't have anything to do with us, so that no one can boast. We boast in Jesus and His work. Not ours.

A conversation had an an Amity religious ceremony:

"May the peace of God be with you," she says, her voice low, "even in the midst of trouble.""Why would it?" I say softly, so one one else can hear. "After all I've done...""It isn't about you," she says. "It is a gift. You cannot earn it, or it ceases to be a gift." (p.440, Insurgent) 

She's absolutely right in that the hope we have in God as a result of the gift of Jesus Christ (aka the peace of God) has absolutely nothing to do with what we can or cannot do. It is purely the work of God. Salvation is a gift!

Devotion? 

"I used to think that when people fell in love, they just landed where they landed, and they had no choice in the matter afterward. And maybe that's true of beginnings, but it's not true of this, now.I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me." (p. 372, Allegiant)

How beautiful is that? Love is a choice we make over and over and over again. It isn't an emotional experience. It is a choice. Perfect.

Our Inferiority? God's Sovereignty? 

"How big is it compared to the rest of the world?" Peter says from across the plane. He sounds like he's choking on each word. "Our city, I mean. In terms of land area. What percentage?" "Chicago takes up about two hundred twenty-seven square miles," says Zoe. "The land area of the planet is a little less than two hundred million square miles. The percentage is...so small as to be negligible." She delivers the facts calmly, as if they mean nothing to her. But they hit me square in the stomach, and I feel squeezed, like something is crushing me into myself. So much space. I wonder what it's like in the places beyond ours; I wonder how people live there.I look out the window again, taking slow, deep breaths into a body too tense to move. And as I stare out at the land, I think that this, if nothing else, is compelling evidence for my parents' God, that our world is so massive that it is completely out of our control, that we cannot possibly be as large as we feel. So small as to be negligible. It's strange but there's something in that thought that makes me feel almost... free." (p. 186-187, Allegiant) 

We are small. Teeny. Tiny. In comparison to a God who holds the universe in His hand! He is in fact, in control of it all, and she's right, it's worry-free!

Despite Veronica's obvious attempt to transplant Biblical truth into her story, I would not consider this a "Christian" series. I highly recommend it because it is very well written! She has a knack for planting seeds while telling an excellent story. Prepare yourself, however, for a not-so-happy ending BUT also concluding with an ounce of unexpected hope.

View all my reviews

"Redeeming Love" Book Review

Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

When I recommended this book to two of my friends they both rolled into church sleepy eyed and cursing me. Don't let the length intimidate you, you will finish it in a few days. You may lose sleep and your house may suffer a tad, but this book, OH this book, is worth every forgotten chore or lost pillow time.

The first time I read this book I read it after studying Hosea. Francine made the book of Hosea take life! How undeserving we are as a human race to receive God's unconditional and all-consuming love, and how thankful we ought to be for giving us the gift of salvation. Even while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. The most beautiful part of this story is when Sarah finally realizes there is a God who loves you in spite of yourself, who seeks you time and time again, even when you betray Him on the deepest level. Beautiful.

The second time I read this book I realized it was worthy of my top ten list. It is a life-changing book, one that I'm tempted to buy in bulk for all my girlfriends to read!

From a literary stand point Francine nails the omniscient point of view. When this point of view is used I often find it jolting, but Francine gave us insight into Michael, Paul, Miriam and a few other character's heart. The clever writing gave the story an unprecedented amount of depth. It made you want to scream at Paul, help Sarah understand, cry with Michael, and embrace Miriam as your own friend. Thank you Francine for making each of these characters come to life!

And when you're done, be sure to read a snippet of Francine's testimony at the end. I skipped it the first time around and was reprimanded by one of my friends for doing so. ;) I'm beyond thankful I did not skip it this time. Francine's own description of this book made the entire story worth every minute of my time, "Writing 'Redeeming Love' was a form of worship for me. Through it, I was able to thank God for loving me when I was defiant, rebellious, contemptuous of what I thought being a Christian meant, and afraid to give my heart away. I had wanted to be my own god and have control of my life the way Eve did in the Garden of Eden. Now I know to be loved by Christ is the ultimate joy and fulfillment. Everything in 'Redeeming Love' was a gift from the Lord: plot, characters, theme. None of it is mine to claim."

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The Greatest Love Story Ever Written

There is a man who's existence was so crucial to history that a dating system was adopted to revolve around his birth and his death. Everyone knows His name. In fact, it is so well known that He is either loved or hated, but He is not ignored. Everyone is familiar with His symbol of love. Not everyone, however, is familiar with His life or His ministry. On "Love Day" I can't help but reflect on this love story because the reason for His death is the greatest love story ever written.

This man is perfect. He is radiant. His Word is powerful. He is majestic, but he had no form or majesty or beauty that we should desire to look at Him. He is a man who knows sorrow and grief and temptation, and is the perfect example of how to persevere, how to endure, how to remain gracious, how to serve. His conduct we long to mimic because He is kind, compassionate, and loving.

And when you open your heart to this man a new understanding of freedom and love and life is breathed into your soul. He holds the greatest love story in the palm of His hand. Oh, those hands! I cannot wait to hold those hands!

For those hands bare the scars of How far He was willing to go for those He loved. Let me tell you how far He went...

We deserve to die. We deserve to spend eternity in hell. Each and every single one of us. There is not one person on the face of the planet who deserves anything else. We are liars. We are gossips. We hate. We envy. We are prideful and arrogant. We are foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless, and we justify every wrong with a friend by our side.

We deserve to die. We fall short of this man's perfection. We will never fully grasp His loving kindness, because it is infinite. 

Even though He knew how sinful we'd become. Even though He knew we'd reject Him. Despise Him. Want nothing to do with Him. He became sin on our behalf. He took God's wrath that we deserve and He died for us.

It wasn't a quick death. It wasn't a pain free death. It was humiliating and excruciating. He was flogged so badly that He wasn't even recognizable as a human being!

And yet He endured till the end. Although He suffered greatly, although the punishment was undeserved, He did not curse. Derogatory words or thoughts or actions were not found in this man.

He laid down His life for those He loved so that those who believed in His life, His ministry, His Words could spend eternity with Him!

There is no greater love than this! Because of Him and His love, we have hope.

"The Dime That Lasted Forever" by Rochunga Pudaite [Book Review]

The Dime That Lasted Forever by Rochunga Pudaite
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Story after story came alive as Rochunga shared God's faithfulness in his life. His life of prayer and thanksgiving in all circumstances is an inspiration! Time and time again God met his needs. Rochunga's faith is one to emulate and his story is definitely a "must read". Christians will find encouragement in each page as Rochunga gives glory to our miraculous, mighty, all-knowing God.

Wow. Thank you Rochunga for sharing your adventurous testimony, giving encouragement to all who read it!

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The Privilege & Price of Motherhood

I'm reading this amazing book with two other women at church. The first chapter - oh my - good. BUT the chapter that made the entire book for me was the chapter on motherhood. I can't speak for the women I'm reading it with, but I believe they'd agree with me in recommending it for ALL women (married, single, children or without):

The part I liked the most so far (not because it was necessarily enjoyable) but it was the most convicting: The Privilege of Motherhood and The Price of Motherhood. I'd like to quote the entire section (it's seriously that good), obviously I recommend getting the book, but before I give more highlights from these two sections read this amazing quote:

Jani is dead on in her description of biblical motherhood and in my short few months at this job I fall short on a daily basis. She talks about self denial constantly and it's one piece of my life that must change. Also, she went to the heart of the matter when talking about giving up dreams. I struggle with that daily. I want to be home with my baby and I want to be in the classroom. (Ahhhhh so conflicting!) I find her writing so encouraging because it reinforces what I know deep down: that this is where God is calling me. That is why I like these two sections so much, because it brings to light aspects in which need work in my life and offers encouragement in order to be the mommy she describes: "In us [our children] experience what the world should be like." I love that.

Portions of the book I couldn't help but share...

The Privilege of Motherhood (p.112-113)

God is calling us women to embrace the privilege of maternal care. We will not hear this from the culture of convenience surrounding us. A woman is much more likely to be praised for her work in the marketplace than for her commitment to mothering. And if mothering is not honored, women will stop doing it. Today if a baby seems to be too great a burden, either financially or physically or emotionally, a woman may kill it in what should be the safest place this side of heaven, a mother's womb. Or, once it is born, she may throw it in the trash bin so she can get on with the important things in life - like attending the prom or satisfying her pubescent boyfriend.

Where are the women who will fearlessly surrender to the privilege of motherhood? Who will say, "My child's welfare is more important than my own convenience; I will give my child a sense of God; I will protect my child from evil and death; I will set the highest possible standards of honor and morality for my child to follow as I teach him the Bible, and one day I will send him out with a light in his soul to bless this darkened world?" What greater privilege could we have?

Your role in a child's life - whether it is your child or others around you - is invaluable. You can be the one to teach him to form intimate, emotional bonds with others. Your sensitivity, availability, devotion, affection, unhurried attention, and responsiveness are irreplaceable. You have the joy of creating an environment for discovery and growth and imagination. You have the privilege of training your child to resist the me-centered consumerism that engulfs our world today.

The Price of Motherhood (quotes taken from pages 113-126)

Second, will you pay the price of mothering? In Where Have All the Mothers Gone? Brenda Hunter cites numerous studies showing that every child needs someone to make an "irrational" commitment to him; someone who will be there when she is needed; someone who will not pack up and go home at 6:00 p.m. Additionally, this someone must love the child more than other people's children. Who can do this better than a child's own mother? Yet we hear the chorus swelling around us, "The care of children and home are inferior occupations. The marketplace is more rewarding. Find your worth there."

And so we face a decision. Don't let me heap guilt on your head if you must work outside your home will your children are young. I have been there, and I know how hard it is. I am writing about a decision that a working mom makes who has a choice to cut back and stay home with her children. Are we willing to give up the pluses of the working world for diapers, doctor appointments, feeding schedules, and hurried showers? We enjoy the affirmations of working outside the home - a paycheck, pats on the back, exciting challenges, and new relationships - and yet we know that our home life suffers all the while. We begin to realize that all the tangible successes in the marketplace can never mask the potent pull of mother love. But are we women enough to yield to this powerful force?

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My friend Suzanne proves how much our children deserve our best. Suzanne is a creative, energetic, compassionate young woman who developed a sterling reputation as a student teacher and teacher's aide in a Chicago district where positions are highly coveted. She became a personal friend when she discipled our daughter, Krista, during Krista's high school years.

When Suzanne and her husband, Scott, had their first baby, they made the hard decision to have Suzanne leave the marketplace to mother full-time. What is the result? Five-year-old Tyler is an obedient, confident, bright boy - a joy to be around. And three-year-old Krista (our daughters namesake), is a secure, impishly tenacious, totally irresistible little girl. Both Tyler and Krista have strong wills and required hard work, patience, and untold sacrifices on the part of their parents. But if you could spend an afternoon with these little ones, as my family loves to do, you would see the imprint of their mother on them, and you would delight in it. Has it been easy? Definitely not. Suzanne has felt depleted, isolated, and financially strapped at times. But to her the price has been worth it. She could never replace those years with her babies, nor would she want to. How much value would any other success hold if she failed as a mother?

Someone is going to be influencing your child during those formative preschool years. Someone is going to be inculcating values and imprinting standards on that impressionable young soul. Let it be you. 

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God's purpose for us as His daughters is not freedom from the difficulties of life. His goal is to make us like Christ, and through us, to mark our children with His beauty.

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When we're struggling with the demands and responsibilities of motherhood, our deepest problem is not necessarily an insensitive husband, cranky kids, or a tight budget. Our deepest problem is our own resistance to total selflessness. It costs to serve. It's tiring and dirty and inglorious.

Are you struggling with your role as a mother-servant in your home? Are you resenting your kids? Are you fearful that life might slip through your fingers? Recognize your feelings for what they are: self-centered and unfaithful toward the God who called you to mother.

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The highlighted phrases spoke to the core of who I am as a teacher, mother and wife. I need to read that every day, that my deepest problem is my own resistance to selflessness. My feelings are self-centered and unfaithful toward the God who called me to mother. I have to let it go and like Suzanne there are days, moments, points in time that I feel depleted, isolated, and financially strapped (I know I'm not alone). But I will reiterate Suzanne's ultimate feelings: the price has been worth it and I would never, not in a million years replace what I have with my Briella Bean. There is more value in God's eyes to be full time mother than a teacher. I have to constantly remind myself that. Constantly.

Bennett's Birth Story [Water Birth]

Another incredible story of trust in GOD's perfect timing, thank you Emily for sharing it with us!

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Bennett's birth, early in the morning of September 5th, was perfect!

I am blessed beyond words with amazing family and friend support God has carefully placed in my life. As I type this, my son is being doted upon by his honorary aunties who I am fairly sure are feeding him mac and cheese and juice, the good stuff he doesn’t get at home. The night Bennett was born, I was surrounded by my three best friends as we planned the final details for one of their weddings and I baked a cake for a coworker leaving the Division the next day. I didn’t feel any different than normal and hurriedly went about the work that needed to be done. Amongst the giggles, printer noise and paper cutter slicing, I stopped to use the restroom. I stood up and turned bright red with embarrassment, I had always heard very pregnant mama’s sometimes pee themselves but thankfully up until this exact moment in time, I had avoided that lovely side effect of pregnancy. I quickly changed and started back downstairs when it happened again…a small woosh of liquid everywhere. The girls called out to check on me. I answered in a quiet voice, “I think my water just broke…” All three were hovered around me in our small upstairs bathroom in what felt like seconds! We decided to call our doula and the midwifery. The midwifery told me I had an appointment at 10 am the next morning to check me and to try to get some sleep. 12 hours later… little did I know... that would be much too long to wait. 

Our doula, who technically wasn’t even “on call” yet, (our contract stated she would be available 2 weeks prior) told us to start tracking contractions as they came. Immediately one of my girlfriends grabbed a note pad and began writing out columns. She is a VERY organized person. Another friend grabbed the computer to begin downloading music for me. I had asked for a good “birthing mix” earlier in the week. The third friend downloaded a stop watch app on her phone. I, feeling no contractions yet, called my husband who was at work, and told him what was going on. He asked if he could finish some things and I said yes but to be ready if I called back. I then proceeded to march to the kitchen to finish the cake I had promised my coworkers! My three girlfriends laughed and followed my every move. About an hour later contractions started and never stopped. 

“CONTRACTION!” I’d yell. 

“Timer!” someone would say. 

“Got it!” another friend would yell. 

We had planned an all natural birth at the only free standing birthing center in Colorado. I was excited to trust in God and my body, and birth my son naturally in the water. But oh my!!!! If this is just the beginning of labor, stage 1, and thinking, I am totally going to fail at this! What was I thinking!!!! This hurts! Oh Lord please help me, I can’t do this…

Another hour later my contractions were all over the place. No rhyme or reason, no consistency in length, duration, time in between. I called my husband as the pain intensified. "Please come home," I begged. He agreed and said he was leaving to make the 20 minute drive home. I called my doula and let her know how things were going. She agreed to come to my house even though I was only 2.5 hours into labor. I told my girlfriends they could go home. It was late and they all had to work in the morning. Thank the Lord they did not listen to me and leave! I wasn’t sure what I felt. I thought I had to use the bathroom. I kept going back and forth from my bed (yea right-I was trying to “get some sleep”) to the bathroom but I really didn’t need to go. Then I said it out loud, words that scared everyone in the room…

“I feel like I need to push.” 

I was still at home. My husband was not there, my doula was not there. What was about to happen? Immediately my friends called my doula who said we needed to leave for the birth center right away and she would meet us there. She would not be coming to the house. I called my husband who was just pulling into the driveway. My friends rushed me into his car with our “go bag”. My husband called the midwifery as we started the drive. Unknown to me, they told him if there was a hospital between our house and the midwifery, we needed to go there instead. Thankfully my husband knows me too well and we pushed on. The normally 25 minute drive only took us 14 minutes. As I look back I am very thankful we trusted in the Lord and His timing. I felt calm and confident He was with us and taking care of every step along this journey. God really does have perfect timing doesn’t He? 

Our doula met us in the front of the building. I was led into the front room where I had one big contraction. Once I got into the room I just kept asking to get in the tub. The midwife and nurse helped me undress and asked me to lay on a bed first to be checked and to place the monitor on the baby. I responded in tears “there’s not time”. The midwife checked me standing up and told me to get in the tub b/c she felt Bennett’s head! 2 pushes later, 7 minutes from the time we pulled up to the midwifery in our car, my beautiful 6 pound 15.5 ounce baby boy was born naturally in the water. 

As hectic as it seems when I say or type the story, I was very much at peace the entire time. I felt God’s presence and knew he was watching over all of us. It was incredible. 

My husband and I were fortunate enough to have hired an amazing doula who took photos. We got to spend time with Bennett in the tub and then in the bed in the room and he never left our side. We delayed cord cutting and worked on breastfeeding until Bennett latched and sleepily napped on my chest. I took him into the regular bath with me once I was taken care of and able to move around. My husband and I gave Bennett his first bath together in warm water full of healing herbs. 

As I dried off, my husband took our new baby to get weighed and measured then we snuggled a bit longer together as a family. 

Bennett was observed with us for 4 hours and finally the 3 of us went home. Yes, home to our house, our bed, and our dogs with our new baby. It was incredible and peaceful. Ironically we were observed longer than my entire labor. My husband still laughs, he was home with Bennett sooner than he would have been had he have worked his entire shift! From water breaking, to Bennett’s birth, it was 3 hours and 53 minutes. We now know to go to the midwifery immediately if my water breaks for baby #2. Especially if “they” are right and 2nd babies come faster than first babies.

Tuesday's Top Ten [Reasons to Emulate My Husband]

My husband is a rare soul and I just don't brag on him enough, so here's my opportunity to share ten things that my husband does everyday that reflect qualities all men should emulate, because he is a phenomenal husband and father.

1. He gets up at 4 am to work out every day. Now I'm not saying you should do that, perhaps that isn't your thing, but here's why this is so significant. First of all, he's been doing that for over a year now (Dedication & Hard Work) but the reason why is HUGE. He loves to work out, he works out because he feels better as a result, it's his thing and we used to do it together every day after work. When we added our baby girl to the mix that became more complicated. I was no longer able to go with him. When he'd come home from work around 5:30-6 ish and then work out until 7-7:30 ish, he didn't really see his family. Rather than giving up something he enjoys, he sacrificed to make it work in order to have more time with his family. 
2. He works long hours and works hard at a job that is not necessarily his dream job. He has a dream that involves more school, but he set his dreams aside to take care of his family first. I can not tell you how many times he tells me that he works to take care of us, and to make sure that we have everything we need and want. I am spoiled.
3. When he comes home from work, he plays with his daughter while I cook supper. She loves this and so do I. It's so much easier to accomplish this task when she's not at my feet begging to eat and eat and eat. His selflessness in this is huge. I'm sure he's tired from work. I'm sure that there are time he'd rather go downstairs and flip on a football game, but it's obvious that his family's needs are always, always, always above his own or anyone else's for that matter. 
4. He helps me with the dishes every evening after dinner. Do you know how much I enjoy that time with him? Do you know how much we talk during that time together? Do you know how much that simple, 30 minute task means to me? 
5. He spoils me in more ways than I can possibly share here. Let me give you a few ways how he does that: we'll go shopping and he'll always ask me, "Is there anything you want babe?" or I'll be admiring something and he'll tell me, "Whatever you want babe." or we'll be downstairs watching TV and he'll ask me, "What do you want to watch babe?" or we'll have free time on a Saturday afternoon and he'll ask, "What do you want to do babe?" He's always asking questions like, "What can I do to make you happy?" I am spoiled by a selfless man who provides for and cherishes his family on a daily basis.
6. He is quick to apologize. If he has screwed up and he knows it, I will hear him say, "I'm so sorry, will you forgive me?"AND HE HAS NEVER, EVER, EVER GONE TO BED MAD AT ME, and he has never, ever, ever gone to bed when he knows I'm mad at him, he is quick to resolve.
7. He is quick to say, "I forgive you." He does not hold grudges, he thanks me for saying I'm sorry and he loves on me afterwards.
8. He married a woman that is not "Becky Home-ecky" (in other words I am not domestically inclined), but I have never once, not once, heard him complain about a meal gone bad (or having to eat the leftovers) or a messy house.
9. Every day he comes home and listens to me, actually listens. I might tell him about my day with the Bean and show him video's or pictures that I've taken. Or there may be an issue I've been praying about and need his guidance. Or there are times I need him to simply hold me as I cry. No matter what it is my husband is quick to show compassion and I trust him in his advice on how to fix it; because he is wise, which leads me to my next point...
10. I saved this one for last because I believe it's the most valuable. Every day I see my husband spend time in God's Word and every day I see him try to emulate Christ in love, kindness, patience, and gentleness. That's reason enough to emulate this man, because his love for me gives me a picture of how Christ loves his church. (Read Ephesians 5:28-30 and you will know exactly what I mean here.)

I have zero reasons to complain about this wonderful man God put in my life. I feel blessed beyond words and if those qualities don't speak enough about him, check out these photographs that show it.

Whispering sweet nothings (he does this often) and no, I won't share those sweet nothings with you. :)

Singing to me. 

Every night he reads to his daughter.

Every day he plays with her (she loves to play with trucks, sound effects are always needed).

With his nephew...

With his daughter...

With his daughter...

With his niece...

His look when he saw me... (yeah, this pic makes my heart melt...)

He took me to Disney World for our first anniversary. That's love.

With his nephew...

With his nephew...

Marley was cold...

If you find a man who's goal in life is to be like Christ, do not let him go. Because of Christ, he will grow and grow and grow in wisdom, in love, in his need to protect, provide, cherish and nourish you. He will understand your submission to him as he submits to Christ in his own life. He will be sincere, he will show grace, and you can rest in this one amazing fact: you don't have to live in fear over good-bye's because this world is not his home.

A Beautiful Adoption Story

One of my friends on Facebook shared this incredible story, the piece I found most incredible was the Father's description on adoption. There are times I can think of nothing else to say but, "WOW." and this is one such instance.

"Anytime I think about adoption I think about my spiritual adoption, about how Jesus went to infinitely greater lengths to adopt me into the family of God. What a privilege it is to, in a smaller way, in a human way, live out some of the truth of the gospel."

And if that wasn't incredible enough he goes on to say this, 

"The nurse just asked us if we're excited to meet our son and I paused for second there because I think it's the first time I heard someone else refer to him as our son."

We Are ALL Terrible Mommy's

Today is another day in the saga of "my daughter only wants to eat graham crackers" (for every meal, all the time). When I place a wholesome meal in front of her (that she has thoroughly enjoyed in the past) she refuses to eat it and even spits it out when I give it to her. Ahhhhhhh! It's so irritating! When I'm irritated I am not patient or kind. Plus, she is hungry (no matter how many crackers you eat, it can't be fulfilling) and as a result she is uber whiny, clingy, and irritable. I'm at my wits end.

I decided a picture of me at my wits end might help concrete the following description of my frustration...

She's also refusing to play without me. In the past I'd play with her for a half hour or so to start the day, and let her play by herself, give her a task to do with me and all was hunky-dory. Noooooooo, not anymore. She is at my feet all.the.time. clinging to my pants (I hate that), begging for my attention. Crying, whining, screaming for "ca-ca-ca" (crackers). It's impossible to accomplish anything... which leads me to my next rant...

Today is also day (whatever... it seems like an eternity when you're in the midst of it) that she is FIGHTING sleep. And by fighting sleep I mean that she's on the verge of passing out (eye rubbage, looooooong blinks, the typical "I'm so sleepy!" signs) so I'll lay her down, and she will play and play and play and talk and talk and talk for a long time. Today it went on for an hour! She seemed happy, like time to relax in the crib is what she needed, so I took her out, tried to give her some lunch, and decided to try and accomplish something, anything, blah, blah, blah... crankiness continued, refusing to eat, not leaving my side....

It came to a head when I began folding laundry. I'd fold a piece, set it down and she'd yank it off the couch and throw it back into the laundry basket or meander over to her dirty clothes bin and throw it in. I took a deep breath and said this prayer, "Lord, help me." And it was then (as she grabs a piece from the basket and does this cute little rendition of roll-it-up from patty cake) that I realized she was trying to fold it! In my selfish, irritated state I did not realize that my daughter was mimicking my actions in laundry-doing, she was trying to help me! Conviction set in and I had this realization that I am a terrible mommy, unfortunately, as I'm typing this I know other mom's are going, "Honey, I get it! You're not terrible." Yes I am and so are you. We are all terrible mommy's.

I'm being 110% serious.

Hear me out.

I'm studying the book of Romans right now. In chapter 1 Paul's description of sin, of our depravity, leads the reader to understand why we desperately need the gospel. We are liars, haters, boastful, foolish (everything that describes me today and every other day of my life). When we abandon God, God "...gives us up" to our sinful desires. Because of our sin against a perfect and holy God we deserve to die! Paul is very adamant that ALL have sinned, ALL of us are rotten, ALL OF US ARE TERRIBLE!

"None is righteous, no, not one;

no one understands; no one seeks for God. 

All have turned aside; 

together they have become worthless; 

no one does good, not even one. 

Their throat is an open grave; 

they use their tongues to deceive. 

The venom of asps is under their lips. 

Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.

Their feet are swift to shed blood; 

in their paths are ruin and misery, 

and the way of peace they have not known.

There is no fear of God before their eyes." (Romans 3:11-18)

I don't think we can hem-haw around that passage. There is not one of us that can escape the fact that we are terrible people and because we are ALL sinners we deserve death. We do not deserve to be in the presence of a perfect God. "... for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) We deserve to die for all that we've done, murderers, haters, liars, and terrible mothers alike.

"For the wages of sin is death..." (Romans 6:23)

Because of what we've done against God (like being a selfish mommy), we deserve to die. Just in case Paul wasn't clear in chapter 3:11-18, we deserve to die.

So on these days when I become so irritated with my child that I want to lock myself in a closet, scream, and then gulp down a glass of wine, what is my hope? Well God had a plan knowing we'd have days like this, weeks, years even, and we'd continue to be inadequate in meeting His perfect Law.

"God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

Christ took the death that WE DESERVE! He lived, he died, and rose again. Jesus Christ took God's wrath on the cross so that His children can enter heaven holy and blameless, despite being terrible!

I must admit the fact that I'm a terrible mother, wife, PERSON, and rely on the Holy Spirit to guide me, teach me, even in my failings as a mommy. You will continue to fall short every day of your life. You will never measure up to a perfect God. There are no good people apart from God. So thank you Jesus that "...if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9) That's it! And that's something I remind myself of daily, especially in moments like this when I'm failing as mommy, despite my best efforts.

And thanks be to Jesus and what He accomplished on the cross because without that one selfless act I would be doomed on days like today, but it's days like today that I'm forever thankful that "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1) Wow. Despite my terrible daily imperfections, I am not doomed. Despite my daily act of trying to be good mommy (and failing), God is good. Regardless of my never ending failures, He is unchanging. No matter how many times I give in to my resolve to yell, scream, shut myself up in the closet, God is faithful. No matter how lazy I become, God is always at work in my life. Despite my impatience, He is patient. Even though I am a terrible mommy, He is perfect. 

As long as I trust in HIM, this mommy job is one that He is using for His glory, no matter what I do or say. Hallelujah, because today... today I'm a terrible mommy. Tomorrow isn't looking so hot either. So I will take a deep breath, say a quick prayer, give thanks for His grace, and rely on the Holy Spirit. Without that, my terrible, earthly, fleshly self is hopeless and lost and terrible.

These are the qualities of the Holy Spirit that I need in parenting: patience, kindness, self-control, love... and according the the Bible NO ONE possess's these qualities without Him because of our sin. Outwardly we might try to work on these things, but it's the heart that matters and if our heart is not right with God, those qualities will continue to be surface level. In order to be a good mommy, I must embrace the fact that I am a sinner in need of Christ, and once I allow the Holy Spirit to intervene, I am good at this job only because He's giving me HIS perfect qualities.

Side note: I think that from now on when I hear a mother exclaim, "I'm a terrible mother!" I'll agree and say, "Yup, we are all terrible mommy's. Thank goodness for Jesus Christ's grace and for His perfect example on what it means to be a good parent. We must simply be willing to let Him guide us as we go. Rely on Him." And that's that.

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This post may come as a shock after reading my recent argument about this amazing job we call motherhood. I'm not taking back what I wrote there, I meant every word I said, but we cannot embrace the truth -- that God gave us the ability to nurture life -- unless we truly embrace the source of that ability!

The Legend of the Candy Cane

Last year a good friend gave me the book titled The Legend of the Candy Cane by Lori Walburg.

The illustrations by James Bernardin are beautiful that make the story come alive. I kept it in our Christmas tub and Bean pulled it out asking, "Dis?" (which means this). I cried as I read the legend behind the candy cane and the message of hope behind it. I'll forever have a different view of candy canes and it'll always be a central piece of our Christmas celebrations.

I highly recommend you get the children's book and check out this website that has this free printable -- and what an amazing poem.

Have a wonderful Christmas celebration centered around Christ our Lord and glorifying HIM.

A MUST Read Story! [His Law and His Love]

As I study Romans (again) I went to John MacArthur's website: http://www.gty.org in hopes of finding a sermon or notes on how he summed up chapter 2. I found some fantastic stuff! Here's a piece I couldn't wait to share!

At the end of a sermon he shared this amazing story (I simply copied and pasted directly from his sermon):

When tribes roamed Russia, much as the Indian tribes roamed the Americas. The tribes which controlled the best hunting and the choicest natural resources were the tribes which had the strongest and wisest leaders. The single tribe which controlled the very best of the territory was the tribe with the most powerful and the most wise leader.

One particular tribe maintained its control of the choice land because its leader was not only the most physically powerful but the most wise of all. And the success of the tribe was due to the fairness and the equity and the wisdom of the laws this great leader gave and enforced upon his people. His word was law and among his greatest laws were that parents must be loved and honored. He also said that murder was punishable by death and stealing was to be severely punished.

The tribe was prospering greatly when suddenly a disturbing thing began to happen. Someone in the tribe was stealing. It was reported to the great leader that this was going on and he sent out the proclamation that if the thief was caught he would receive that severe punishment, ten lashes from the tribal whip master. Stealing continued despite the warnings, so he raised it to 20 lashes. It went on so he raised it to 30 lashes. And finally he raised it to 40 lashes and knew there was only one person in the whole tribe that could survive that lashing and that was him because he was superior in strength.

Finally the thief was caught. To the horror of everyone it was his own mother. The tribe was in shock. What was the leader going to do? His law was that in everything parents were to be loved and honored. But thieves were to be whipped. Great arguments arose on the day of judgment as it approached. Was he going to satisfy his love and save his mother or was he going to satisfy his law and have her die under the whip because she could never endure that.

Soon tribal members were divided and even making wages on what he would do. And finally the judgment day came. The tribe was gathered around the great compound in the center of which a large post was driven into the ground. The leader's great throne sat in the place of prominence and with great pomp and ceremony the leader entered, took his place on the throne and the silence was deafening.

Soon is frail little mother was brought in between towering warriors. They tied her to the post. The crowd murmured in debate, will he satisfy his love at the expense of law? Or his law at the expense of his love? The tribal whip master entered, a powerful man with bulging muscles, a great leather whip in his hand and as he approached the little lady, the warriors ripped her shirt off, exposing her frail little back to the cruelty of the lash. Everyone gasped. Was the leader really going to let her die?

He sat staring without moving. Every eye was darting from him to the whip master and back again. The whip master took his stance, his great arm cracked the whip in the air as he prepared to bring the first lash upon her. In every heart was the question, would he allow his love to be violated or his law?

Just as the whip master started to bring his powerful arm forward with the first cutting stroke on that frail little back, the leader held up his hand to halt the punishment. A great sigh went up from the tribe. His love was going to be satisfied. But what about his law? They watched him rise from his throne and he strode toward his mother. As he walked he was removing his own shirt. He threw it aside and proceeded to wrap his great arms around his little mother, exposing that huge muscular back to the whip master. And then breaking the heavy silence he commanded, "Proceed with the punishment." Thus both his law and his love were satisfied.

This is an AMAZING picture of Christ and what He accomplished on the cross. 

Tuesday's Top Ten (Why Mommy's Should Memorize Scripture)

Part of the women's discipleship process in our church (that is highly encouraged) is scripture memorization. Here's 10 reasons why this is a vital aspect of women's time together: 

1. "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." (Matthew 12:34) These are Jesus' Words exactly. He rebuked the Pharisees who (after Jesus healed a demon-oppressed man) said, "It is only by Beezebul, the prince of demons, that this man casts out demons." (vs.26) and Jesus (knowing their heart) told them otherwise (that "A kingdom divided against itself cannot stand." In other words, if he was a demon, why would he cast out demons?) Jesus goes on to explain how to know their heart, "...the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. ... I tell you, on the day of judgement people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." (Ch.12:33-37) Therefore, if I say anything at all, if I offer my children any Biblical encouragement, I want it to be HIS Words, because mine are utterly worthless. If I don't spend time in God's Word, how would I know what He says? And if I don't know what He says then I find myself speaking about nothing worthwhile, and then I'm in danger of that last verse: of standing before God on the day that I meet Him, being held accountable for every word that came out of my mouth. The fear of that alone forces me to take this seriously.

2. "As we focus our minds and hearts to understand the Word of God, the Holy Spirit will continue to illumine it and write it indelibly on our hearts." (Furman, G. Glimpses of Grace, p.170) Gloria Furman tells us that we will gain tremendous benefits from "persisting in prayerful meditation on passages of Scripture." By saying a verse, chapter, or book (yes, book) over and over again we are meditating on His Word and allowing it to seep into our very innermost being. Not only that, but the Holy Spirit will constantly bring it to mind, especially when we need it.

3. "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." - Psalm 19:14 The Israelites sang this Psalm of David and those aren't the only words that we should emulate, "More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter than honey and drippings of the honeycomb." (vs.10) They = God's Word. We should desire God's Word above ALL else, through his perfect Word we will be transformed into His image because God's Word is all about HIM.

4. Memorization is Observation. There are 4 key ingredients to studying Scripture: Observation (Author, Audience, Purpose, sentences, word meanings, historical context, etc.), Interpretation (Am I interpreting it correctly?), Correlation (Does my interpretation match up with the rest of Scripture?) and Application (After all that, how does this apply to me?). Observation is the piece that takes the most work and the piece that women struggle with the most. It's our brain. We were designed to connect everything to everything. In studying the Bible that can be a curse and a blessing. A curse because while we should be observing the text, we skip to correlation and sometimes we "correlate" incorrectly. Skipping steps is a big no-no if you want to make sure that you're INTERPRETING Scripture correctly. Which God does not take lightly. It's HIS Word and it was written for a very specific purpose. We often miss apply Scripture because we can't wait to get to verse 10 when we should be meditating on verse 1. By memorizing verse by verse we are in essence forcing our correlating brain to slooooooow down and meditate, which is so difficult for us multi-tasking, thinking-of-100-things-at-once, Mommy brains.

5. Keep  Your Way Pure. "How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes! With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth. In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches. I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways. I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word." - Psalm 119:9-16 (Underlining is mine.) This Psalm does not need much explanation, but there are a few things you should know about it: it's an acrostic poem that we lose in translation from Hebrew to English :( and the theme is "The Word of God." Psalm 119 sums up our whole purpose for existence: to know God and glorify Him. There is no other way to know Him than through His Word. The Israelite's memorized this Psalm (alphabetic poems make that easier) so they would always remember that their hope is in His Word (vs.81, 114) and that "it's a light to my path" (vs.105) and and and and... Psalm 119 is one of my favorites and it's worth reading and knowing. In order to keep your life from sin, and to help your children do the same, do as this Psalm suggests: store up His Word in your heart.

6.  "Scripture that is read or recited from memory is the purest form of biblical encouragement. As you use the Bible to encourage your children, you are relying on the Holy Spirit to direct your words and God's Word to them. ... If you ask the Holy Spirit to give you something to say to your children, He will. It doesn't matter if your message is ten words or ten thousand. If you offer it in the power of the Spirit, it will be effective." (Clarkson, C. Heartfelt Discipline, p.111) By relying on the Holy Spirit to speak through you, you will emulate the qualities of the Holy Spirit which are love, patience, kindness, selflessness, self-control, gentleness... all qualities that are impossible to have within you all the time because you're an imperfect, sinful human being. By making God's Word the Word of your heart, those are the words you will speak to everyone, and most importantly your children.

7. Memorization is for Multitaskers! For busy mommy's it is nearly impossible to find a time to sit down and actually study God's Word without interruption; you can memorize and do dishes at the same time!

8. There will be battles and we need to be prepared. You may not always have your Bible. So when you need to say something, pray that the Holy Spirit will give you the words to say. Then trust that He will bring it to mind when it's needed. 

9. There are two things God values most: His Word and His Name. "... you have exalted above all things your name and your word." (Psalm 138:2) So if those are the two things He has exalted above EVERYTHING, I want to make sure I pay attention to it and teach my children what God has exalted above all else.

10. The Words are like medicine. And every mommy needs soul medicine, because there will be tough days and if you focus on the hope found in God's Word, those loooong days will seem like milliseconds in eternity. By feasting on the Word and making it your obsession, you will seriously need nothing else.

I always think of the movie, The Book of Eli when I think of memorization. He knew the entire book and the book wasn't lost as a result. It's one of my all time favorites...

The Holy Spirit can and will use His Words, make them the Words of your heart for all those reasons and more.

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After writing this I Googled "Memorize Scripture" and found this website that offers 10 more reasons to memorize His Word: Rooted Families. I thought it was worth sharing because the reasons are phenomenal!

Tuesday's Top Ten [Why Wait for Sex?]

Girls: If you have zero desire to live your life according to GOD'S STANDARDS do not read this.

I'm tired of the hogwash advice I hear from the world explaining to young people: "find yourself" or "know what you want" or "gotta try it on before you wear it" crap. I want my daughter to know the exact opposite. I want her to grow up knowing sex is beautiful, but it is so important to wait. Here's why...

1. A GOOD relationship is not built on sex. Do not believe a man who tells you, "I love you and this is how I express that love." That is the most selfish explanation of love that exists on this planet. His way of expressing love to you is by pleasing himself? Psssssh! Hogwash. If he loves you, he can find thousands of ways to express that love (roses, diamonds, elaborate dates, love letters, a thoughtful text, squeezing your hand, gifts galore, dinner, favorite candy, compliments, &etc. etc.) If you ever hear a man tell you that, leave. Quickly.

2. Orgasms are mind induced.  Don't believe me? Just ask every woman who has ever faked one (um, every single one of  us). You choose to enjoy your man and focus on him, whether or not you enjoy it is entirely up to you. If you truly choose to love your husband and not think of anything but him during your time together, trust me, you'll enjoy it. There is absolutely no need to "test the waters" and determine if this is something he is good at doing. Which brings me to my next point...

3. True intimacy and satisfaction take time. You aren't going to wake up one day and go, "OH that's what I like!" It takes time together and honesty, which requires that you are unashamed and have an intimate relationship. You will not find immediate satisfaction like the books and movies suggest. Be realistic. Everything you enjoy doing now is because you've had time to do it over and over and over again. You will never find the deep satisfaction and intimacy I'm talking about with one night stands. You will never, ever find out if you are meant to be with someone by having sex with him first.

4. You can have intimacy without sex. Some of my most intimate moments with Kyle do not involve sex and those moments are moments between us that I will never share. Not because they were racy, but because it was in those moments I grew in my relationship with my husband in a way that I cannot explain.

5. If you see a good relationship, you'll typically find a good friendship. Friendship is vital in establishing a solid foundation. If you can't talk, laugh, enjoy each other's company, love the "simpleton" moments where you do or say absolutely nothing, are you friends? And if you marry someone because "they're really good in bed" what will happen to your relationship if that can't happen?! Think about it: with sex comes babies and after a baby you can't have sex for at least 6 weeks and when you have a newborn in your life things change (body, time, focus, etc.).

6. In 1 Corinthians 6:16 Paul explains that you become one when you have sex. "... do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her?" In all the verses surrounding this text Paul is telling the Corinthians to flee from sexual immorality, because (verse 15) "Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!" In verse 18 Paul demands they flee from sexual immorality because "Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." (verse 18-20, bold is mine cause it's important to remember!)

7. Paul tells you in 1 Corinthians 6:20 that you were "bought with a price" (Christ's blood) and therefore you need to "glorify God in your body." Marriage is a picture of Christ (Ephesians 5:22-33) and adulterous relationships take you farther away from Christ, your husband and your father, not closer to them (you are sinning not only against God, but against your future husband, and your father because it is his job to protect your innocence and purity until he gives you away to your husband and then it's your husband's job to protect you). Be so focused on glorifying Christ in all that you do that your future husband must find HIM before knowing you. Which, again, brings me to my next point...

8. Any relationship centered around Christ, is unbreakable. YOU CANNOT LOVE YOUR HUSBAND PERFECTLY DAY IN AND DAY OUT. In fact, you won't. In fact, there will be times you despise him because you're a dirty, rotten, selfish sinner. In fact, there will be days you fail in showing love to your husband. However, If you love your husband because Christ EXUDES EVERY PORE of your body, loving your husband will be easier (notice I did NOT say easy) because you are loving him through Christ. Love is a choice you make every day. Following Christ is a choice you make every day. It isn't easy. It isn't always fun. AND IT'S A CHOICE YOU'RE MAKING RIGHT NOW (TO LOVE YOUR HUSBAND) BY DECIDING TO WAIT FOR HIM. If you decide to love your husband through sex you're opening the doors to failure, because sex is not love. Yes, it is an expression of love but it is not love. Let me say that again: SEX IS NOT LOVE. (If you want to know the attributes of love, read how Paul describes it in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8) Which brings me to my next point... (sound familiar?)...

9. If you want to know if a man truly loves you, determine what love looks like by studying God. God is love. Is he patient? Kind? Protective? Does he have the desire to take care of you? Is he arrogant? Rude? Consistently irritable with you? Is he resentful for mistakes you've made? If after this "study" you determine that he does not in fact love you, move on, and WAIT for that man God has in mind. Don't ruin a beautiful future with the man God has in mind, for a few moments of pleasure (that I promise you'll absolutely regret later).

10. God's Word very clearly states to abstain from sexual immorality. Sex with your spouse is encouraged. (Just read Song of Solomon as one example of a husband and wife clearly enjoying one another on their wedding night.) Anything outside of that is sexually immoral. If you've made a vow before God, family and friends to love your husband until the day you die, I highly encourage you to love him up. Heck, throw him on the bed if you have to! Otherwise, wait.

In today's society we have two extremes: sex is dirty or just do what makes you feel good. We need to let go of both views and toss them in the garbage. Sex is NOT a dirty, horrible act, and I hope I didn't give that impression here. I want it to be the exact opposite of that: enjoyable, fun, intimate... with your spouse. I would give my right eye to go back and say "NO!" just to save that intimacy for Kyle only (for all the reasons I've listed above). Trust me, save yourself the heartache and wait. 

P.S. I'm not tell you this to make you feel guilty, especially if you have been sexually immoral. I do encourage you, however, to stop now and wait (it isn't too late!). Thankfully, because of what Christ did on the cross, we are not doomed do die for being stupid. Waiting will be the best thing for you, even if you start now.