Showing posts with label Discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Discipline. Show all posts

Monday, April 7, 2014

"Fearlessly Feminine" by Jani Ortlund [Book Review]

Fearlessly FeminineFearlessly Feminine by Jani Ortlund
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

"God made you a woman. He delights in your womanhood. Bask in the certainty that your femininity is beautiful to God. That which makes you different from the men in this world is a God-given gift, precious in His sight. Women have already proven that they can go wherever men go: space, politics, war, the boardroom. Use your femininity to go where men cannot go. Where is it that God is calling you to be fearlessly feminine?" (p.203) This question is one that Jani forces you to answer throughout her book.

She is forthright and the truths she writes are absolutely convicting. She tackles the issues we face in today's society and challenges women to take hold of the gift God has given us as women. Jani argues that femininity is "tested" in our day-to-day living and as a result we must make "a daily choice to trust God completely.

She encourages women to not "let the evil of our popular culture dirty our souls with its filth" or "to fritter our time away on materialistic pursuits and silly entertainments" or "to give our husbands and children and homes a back row seat while we strive to maintain a center stage image" and finally to never, ever forget that "heaven is real and our choices now have eternal consequences." All of those pieces are covered in her book (and more)! I am beyond thankful I read it and truly believe this book played a huge role in my growth as a follower of Christ, a woman, a wife, a mother, and a teacher.

View all my reviews

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

A Shout Out to My Fellow Teachers

I love my profession. I know it's what I'm meant to do. Although I had to hit "pause" on my career to stay home with my baby girl, I can't wait to get back in the classroom. I think every teacher would agree that teachers go into teaching because they care first and foremost about the students. Secondly, they are passionate about learning! For example, I LOVE reading and writing and desperately want to motivate young people to enjoy it as well. My teaching mantra, "Teaching is a Work of Heart" has never changed. Whatever YOUR reason for teaching, this job impacts lives. Fortunately, I know A LOT of teachers that feel the same way and here's a SHOUT OUT to you. Despite what others may think, it ISN'T easy. Here's why these professionals deserve respect:

Everyone comes into the classroom with baggage, some students carry bigger loads than others, but that baggage is impossible to toss aside for the sake of reading a book. We know that in order for a child to learn effectively, you must "hit their heart" and sometimes that forces you to lose sleep at night.

When you get your paycheck you run over to the Dollar Tree and nab a few more pencils, notebooks, sticky notes, bulletin board borders, paper, and then order the materials not provided through your curriculum so you can CONNECT to your students and help them understand a concept through an amazing project. By the time you're done you have just enough to pay your bills and buy groceries for the month. Teachers work hard to create something, anything to help students enjoy the learning process.

Working hard is an understatement. My busiest days was when I arrived at school at 7:15, worked through my lunch, had basketball practice during my planning period (lasting until 4:30), prepared for the next day and left around 6, went home and graded papers the rest of the evening until I went to bed. I remember attending a Gary Allen concert on a Friday night and being so exhausted the only thing that I wanted to do was go to sleep. I HATED that concert and looking back I believe it was because I was so tired! I was more tired after a day with junior highers than I was after a week of hanging out with my 1 and 2 year old nephews. Seriously. The thing about teaching is that it's emotionally and physically draining, but it is so worth every minute.



I've heard parents (who understand all of the above) joke that they'd never want to be a teacher. I get that. I'd never want to be a nurse who has to deal with mean doctors, crappy hours, and nasty blood, puke, and guts. However, what I don't understand is why parents send their kids to school expecting the teachers to deal with their problem child and then are angered when their child is disciplined. I could tell you story after story of incidents like this one where a student was caught chewing tobacco on the bus home from a football game and he was suspended for the remainder of the games (duh!), but his parents were mad stating that their child told them he thought it was gum. Ha! Seriously?

The thing is, when teachers get together we ALL have stories like this.

I don't want to spend this time complaining about terrible children because some of those students who were the most ill behaved students in history ended up being some of the students I loved the most. Most of the time those students are the students who need the most love because they don't get it at home. Most of the time those students are the students who have zero structure and discipline at home and need it somewhere, and once they get it at school they thrive. Most of the time these students are the students that realize that discipline does not mean that I hate you, it means that I want you to succeed and I care about you, so I don't want you to continue to make mistakes that will hurt YOU in the long run. Once teachers help students to understand that, they'll have loyal, hard working students willing to learn and grow into productive members of society.

My first year teaching I really didn't understand those students - the misbehaving, attention-seeking students. There are a lot of teachers who possess more patience than I ever will and I applaud you. Teachers that truly grasp the fact that we're all unique individuals with different talents, weaknesses and learning abilities are the teachers to treasure.
Unfortunately, our education system doesn't support what teachers learn to appreciate - our individual uniqueness. I remember one incident that has forever shaped how I feel about one test for all. I had a 7th grade student that received straight A's and was an avid reader and writer. This student worked hard and the comments made during literary discussions were thought provoking and had wonderful perspectives. Every practice test ever taken scored this student as "above average." However, the day the state test was taken was the day ____'s mother was arrested in a huge drug bust. Now answer me this, HOW ON EARTH WAS THIS STUDENT GOING TO FOCUS ON THE TEST WITH THIS GINORMOUS EVENT WEIGHING ON ____ SHOULDERS, FORCING ____ TO THINK ABOUT IMPENDING CHANGES AND A LOOMING, SCARY FUTURE?!

I write that story knowing every teacher reading this is nodding in absolute agreement.
A teacher should be the one making decisions about our education system, however, a teacher became a teacher to teach, not become a politician.



If you see a teacher, ahem, WHEN you see a teacher working long past "working hours" coaching your child, grading papers, working on lesson plans, THANK them, because sometimes we feel like this...
And most of the time, we feel like this...
Teachers deserve daily shout outs for what they do, even during the summer months when they work in their classroom preparing for the next school year, taking professional development classes trying to better themselves, or encouraging students to show up to the open gym their hosting. Teachers go in to this profession expecting nothing, not even a thank you, so surprise one today and THANK them for all they do.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

A Shout Out to My CrAaaAaaAAAAzy Quigley

Instead of becoming less crazy, Quigley has instead added weird quirks. However, as he adds to his craziness, he has also become one heck of a dog, that deserves a BIG SHOUT OUT. Let me tell you why:

Quigley knows that if it's Brielle's he'd better leave it alone. She loves to give him her food, right from the table. BIG no-no, for Brielle and Quigley. He's not allowed to take it unless we tell him he can and Brielle is not allowed to feed the dogs from the table. The rule for the dogs is that they're supposed to "GO LAY DOWN" as we're eating. When given permission they come over and clean up the disaster under her high chair. Here's what we're currently working on: Brielle LOVES to play with the dog dishes, but Quigley knows that if Brielle touches it, he cannot have it. So when Quigley is eating Brielle has this obsession with playing with his food. When she touches it, Quigley follows the rule "GO LAY DOWN!" (Impressive, right?!) I'll tell Brielle "No!" and he'll come back over to eat, but it takes A LOT of convincing on my part before Quigley understands it's okay. Oh my goodness, he's such a good dog! I feel so bad for him when this happens, so Brielle is usually in bed or in her high chair (unable to crawl to his bowl) when I feed them.

Brielle + Quigley = BFF's. Where ever there's a Quigley, there's a Monster Bean. If Quigley is looking out the window, Brielle is looking out the window. If Brielle is playing with a toy, Quigley is right there, staring longingly at it, wanting to play with it too. If Brielle and I are walking in the yard, Quigley is RIGHT THERE walking beside us. They're two peas in a pod.

He buries his stuff. Which is kinda annoying when you go in the back yard and see the gazillion holes he's dug, but it's hilarious when Kyle finds a rawhide under his pillow (seriously).

I know he'll protect me. We were at my sisters condo in Winter Park hanging out, when her hubby and Kyle walk through the door. Jokingly I told Marley and Quigley to "Get 'em!" (Mistake.) Quigley's hair was raised and he went after them, once he realized it was Kyle, he was all good, but I won't say that unless I'm really needing him to "Get 'em!" If you're reading this, I have a gun and I have a Quigley. If you break into my house with the intention of hurting anyone in my family (including Quigley) you. will. be. meeting. your Maker.

It takes a day to learn something new. It took a day to learn the term "LEAVE IT!" (We practiced with treats and toys.) It took a day to learn the command "COME!" It took one evening, yes... one, for him to learn that he needed to "GO LAY DOWN!" during meal time. He is smart and he wants to please.

Brielle LOVES to ride on him. He loves it too. He'll just run around while I'll hold Brielle on his back and he'll turn around and lick her to death. She just giggles non-stop. CUTE.

Quigley LOVES visitors. I cannot get him to stop licking anyone I invite inside. Ugh. He reminds me of that dog from Up, "I just met you and I love you."

When I blog, he's under the desk hanging out with me. (Or trying to sit in my lap. He's an 80 pound-ish hefty monster so this is impossible, but he continues to try.)

Marley beats him up. Not kidding. We're constantly yelling at Marley for bullying him. Poor Quigles.

Here's why I'm telling you this. You see, we know Quigley is a lab/bully breed of some sort. We know that wherever we go there will be a prejudice against this crazy, but well-behaved, loveable, desperately-wanting-to-please, lick, lick, lick-crazed, baby protecting, smart dog. People see him and they're instantly terrified, and I get that... he's big and muscular (same goes with humans, it's so hard to not have this momentary feeling of desperation when you see a guy dressed in all black, hood up, pants sagging...), but give him a chance. I have a feeling that he is going to be one of those dogs that leave the biggest impact on my life, my husbands life and mostly my daughters life. We love this crazy dog to death (Marley will never admit this, but he loves him too).


Monday, September 2, 2013

First Time Obedience

I was having this discussion with a mom of four marvelous young men,

Me: "I've been thinking a lot about how imperative it is that Brielle responds to my saying, "NO!" immediately. Lately, she wants to chew on electrical cords plugged into the outlet. There's no way I can go around the house and unplug everything from the wall just because Monster Bean wants to eat it. Due to this new desire of hers, I've been thinking about the importance of "NO!" long term. Like, for example, if my two year old daughter is running into the street and there's a car coming, I want her to respond immediately to my "NO!" I don't want to have to count, or bribe, or watch her "test the waters" because I'm not just saying "NO!" out of selfish ambition, I'm saying it for her own safety! So how do I help her understand that? Is this even possible?"

Mom of 4: "YES! It's called First Time Obedience."

I think I might have overwhelmed her with questions. First time obedience? We continued to have a marvelous discussion about discipline, expectations, and such. She has told me on numerous ocassions that there was no such thing as terrible two's or troubled three's in their home because that behavior was not tolerated. (Inwardly, I'm thinking, "Ha! Yeah, right!") However, her logic made so much sense, "If they hear you calling them terrible or troubled, then how could you expect them to act differently?" It definitely makes sense when I see her with her four teenage boys, I always feel this overwhelming desire to know more. Her knowledge level is FAR above mine in the area of parenting. I was expecting this long drawn out, detailed plan that she followed, but her advice about parenting is so, so simple (not easy), simple! I was shocked, "You mean that's it?" She assured me that it was. I was extremely grateful for this experienced mother's advice who's already had the opportunity to learn from her mistakes and know what works and what doesn't. I trust her advice because ALL of her boys are polite, well behaved, smart, independent, young men who are a joy to be around, in other words, whatever she and her hubby did... WORKED.

When I got home I decided to simply "Google" first time obedience and see what comes up. What I found blew me away. It's obviously controversial (what opinion about parenting isn't?!) but this concept isn't a new one (except to me) and there's A LOT out there for a mom like me who's interested in pursuing the topic. Rather than summing them all up, I thought I'd share a few of the websites I liked and let you explore them as you wish:

- She makes some great points here: http://themomiwanttobe.com/index.php/be-a-better-mom-monday-cleaning-up-your-parenting-require-first-time-obedience/
- A GREAT source as well is: http://www.childwisechat.com/2011/11/17/first-time-obedience-first-things-first/
- I LOVED this blog and immediately became a follower: http://www.babywisemom.com/
- I'm definitely getting the book that she suggested: http://www.itakejoy.com/first-time-obedience-really/

I guess you could call me a FTO mom! Until the other day I didn't know there was such a thing. Do you know how amazing it is to have women who share in Biblical truths when it comes to raising a child? I'm so thankful that I'm not alone and that I don't have to "write or re-write the book."

Now, it's your turn. If you are also a FTO parent, PLEASE, please, please tell me what's worked for you! View this post as a FTO Q&A.

[By the way, you can pretty much expect me to share my experiences as a FTO mom. Perhaps I'll call it "First Time Mom Seeking First Time Obedience" or "This Mom's First Time Obedience Journal/Journey" or "Adventures of a First Time Obedience Mom" or .... well, you get the idea.] 

Friday, August 23, 2013

First Time Obedience

I was having this discussion with a mom of four marvelous young men,

Me: "I've been thinking a lot about how imperative it is that Brielle responds to my saying, "NO!" immediately. Lately, she wants to chew on electrical cords plugged into the outlet. There's no way I can go around the house and unplug everything from the wall just because Monster Bean wants to eat it. Due to this new desire of hers, I've been thinking about the importance of "NO!" long term. Like, for example, if my two year old daughter is running into the street and there's a car coming, I want her to respond immediately to my "NO!" I don't want to have to count, or bribe, or watch her "test the waters" because I'm not just saying "NO!" out of selfish ambition, I'm saying it for her own safety! So how do I help her understand that? Is this even possible?"

Mom of 4: "YES! It's called First Time Obedience."

I think I might have overwhelmed her with questions. First time obedience? We continued to have a marvelous discussion about discipline, expectations, and such. She has told me on numerous ocassions that there was no such thing as terrible two's or troubled three's in their home because that behavior was not tolerated. (Inwardly, I'm thinking, "Ha! Yeah, right!") However, her logic made so much sense, "If they hear you calling them terrible or troubled, then how could you expect them to act differently?" It definitely makes sense when I see her with her four teenage boys, I always feel this overwhelming desire to know more. Her knowledge level is FAR above mine in the area of parenting. I was expecting this long drawn out, detailed plan that she followed, but her advice about parenting is so, so simple (not easy), simple! I was shocked, "You mean that's it?" She assured me that it was. I was extremely grateful for this experienced mother's advice who's already had the opportunity to learn from her mistakes and know what works and what doesn't. I trust her advice because ALL of her boys are polite, well behaved, smart, independent, young men who are a joy to be around, in other words, whatever she and her hubby did... WORKED.

When I got home I decided to simply "Google" first time obedience and see what comes up. What I found blew me away. It's obviously controversial (what opinion about parenting isn't?!) but this concept isn't a new one (except to me) and there's A LOT out there for a mom like me who's interested in pursuing the topic. Rather than summing them all up, I thought I'd share a few of the websites I liked and let you explore them as you wish:

- She makes some great points here: http://themomiwanttobe.com/index.php/be-a-better-mom-monday-cleaning-up-your-parenting-require-first-time-obedience/
- A GREAT source as well is: http://www.childwisechat.com/2011/11/17/first-time-obedience-first-things-first/
- I LOVED this blog and immediately became a follower: http://www.babywisemom.com/
- I'm definitely getting the book that she suggested: http://www.itakejoy.com/first-time-obedience-really/

I guess you could call me a FTO mom! Until the other day I didn't know there was such a thing. Do you know how amazing it is to have women who share in Biblical truths when it comes to raising a child? I'm so thankful that I'm not alone and that I don't have to "write or re-write the book."

Now, it's your turn. If you are also a FTO parent, PLEASE, please, please tell me what's worked for you! View this post as a FTO Q&A.

[By the way, you can pretty much expect me to share my experiences as a FTO mom. Perhaps I'll call it "First Time Mom Seeking First Time Obedience" or "This Mom's First Time Obedience Journal/Journey" or "Adventures of a First Time Obedience Mom" or .... well, you get the idea.]