Tuesday's Top Ten Plus Ten [Funniest Books]

I wonder, as I review this list, about my taste in comedy. Seriously, I love to giggle over Laffy Taffy jokes! As a result of that truth I wouldn't put too much emphasis on "funniest" books; in fact, I might actually call the list wacky. Still, I'd check these books out for their outlandish silliness, 'cause everyone needs some silly in their lives.

For more laughs, giggles, or eye rolling be sure to check out Melany's list! 

1. Ghastlies, Goops, and Pincushions by X.J. Kennedy is a book full of wacky nonsense verse. I giggled through each poem - all in one setting.

2. Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series is hilarity at its finest. The book is a little rough around the edges at times, but I love the strange characters Evanovich creates stories around; plus the bizarre situations Stephanie Plum gets herself involved in are mysteriously comical. Stephanie Plum is an awful bounty hunter who's constantly down on her luck and with Grandma Mazur or Lulu to babysit half the time, things are always interesting. Not to mention the fact that she has two men she's in love with and I often wonder if Evanovich isn't just going to leave us hanging on which one she picks. I'm rooting for Ranger, but we may never know, which is killing me! 

3. The children's book titled Rooster Can't Cock-a-Doodle-Doo by Karen Rostoker-Gruber is hilarious only because of the illustrations by Paul Ratz de Tagyos. It's the pictures that make this book come alive! Each time I read it I giggled as the animals "help" Farmer Ted with his chores. Seriously, read this book for the illustrations.

4. If my two year old daughter would add anything to this list it'd be The Monkey Goes Bananas by C.P. Bloom. I found it hilarious because of my daughters adorable belly laughs. She especially likes the page where the illustrator ingeniously depicts the monkey being flung across the watery chasm between the islands separating himself (once again) from the bananas. I add a few monkey "oooo's" and "aaaaa's" and "eeee's" to make it that much more "comical." I still can't get over how much she LOVES this book. It's a book of few words, but it's a great story.

5. If my former students could add anything to this list it'd be The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie. It's funny, yet it isn't. It's full of heartache, while also being side-splitting. The main character, Junior, loves to cartoon and as an Indian growing up on the Spokane reservation he has quite the subject list: like drunkenness running rampant, unemployment, hunger, education woes, tragedies galore, not to mention his own medical problems. This book is emotionally loaded - with tears and hysterical laughs throughout. The reason it makes this list is because Junior makes lemonade, adding a bit of wit and humor, with the truck load of lemons life hands him.

Side Note: I taught this book to my high school reading class, which consisted fully of struggling readers (it was a 100% special needs class). Unfortunately, each of my students could relate to Junior's medical issues and the exclusion experienced because of it. Fortunately, we all fell in love with Junior's ability to take life head on (well sorta, because Junior's list of medical issues begin at being born with too much cerebral fluid on the brain and all kinds of issues as a result of that one issue, but that's beside the point). Junior is relatable and I loved his take on life, which is exactly what many of these kids desperately needed. It was always, always, always a riveting success. Warning: masturbation is a short, but embarrassing, topic of discussion at one point and time. If it hadn't been for that one piece I would've read it to my junior highers. 

6. Moo! by David LaRochelle is a picture book with one word: Moo! It's funny only because of the ending. 

7. Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney does make the list. Don't judge! If you can't read this book from a junior high teacher or parent perspective, don't read it. Half the stuff I read about in this book (like the cheese touch) actually happens. If it wasn't for stupid books like this, I'd have gone hysterical with all the crazy stuff I dealt with day in and day out. Trust me. It's funny. (I might also think it's funnier than it is because one of my high school speachers created a humorous prose speech out of it. Call me biased, but he did really, really well with it.)

8. I thought the children's book Plaidypus Lost by Janet Stevens and Susan Stevens Crummel was worth a giggle or two. If you have a little one, this book will be relatable, which is why I found it worthy enough to make this list.

9. Educating Esme: Diary of a Teacher's First Year by Esme Raji Codell is filled with hilarity, sincerity, brilliance, and ingenious. Esme documents her first year of teaching in a Chicago Public School. What she faces and how she deals with it inspired me as a teacher on so many levels. There are hilarious moments, but there are also tear jerking and frustrating ones as well. It's an all around great read.

10. Marley & Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog by John Grogan is most definitely worthy of this list. You see, I have a naughty Marley (not nearly as naughty as this Marley) but after reading this I was convinced it had something to do with the name. And no, I did not name my Marley after this book. If you have a dog, you'll be able to relate and empathize with the hilarious situations Marley gets John and his family involved in; but I warn you, you'll cry just as hard as you laugh.

This is my Marley, who we refer to as "Naughty Marley" or " Marley Man"...

... he's also been the topic of conversation many times here...

My Little Marley Man

Marley Man's Weird Quirks #22-25

Poor Marley Tried to Bite a Fan

Poor Marley and the Dreaded Red Ant Attack

All in all, I think you're guaranteed a giggle here and there by checking out the books on this list. Still, if you don't appreciate jokes (like the one I found on the Laffy Taffy I ate last night, What Makes Music on your Head? A Head Band) then you won't appreciate a few of the books on this list. ;) 

Before you sign off, don't forget Melany's list!

Tuesday's Top Ten [Church Nursery Duty "Sins"]

I had the privilege of doing nursery duty last Sunday. It was a morning that helped me understand toddlers, stand in awe over cute they are, and that life with them is never, ever boring. I am beyond thankful these kiddo's are in my life for so many reasons, but here's a list inspired by my time with them Sunday morning; because despite how absolutely adorable they are and how each and every situation listed below made me laugh hysterically, it also helped me realize our deep and never-ending need for a Savior!

1. Coveting runs rampant. If one toddler looks like they're having fun with a toy, all toddlers want it.

2. Selfish thoughts are evident, "Even if you're playing with it, I will have it." That goes back to #1, because I want to have the same amount of fun as you, so even if you have the toy, I will get it from you, no matter the cost and even if I'm told, "no, wait your turn."

3. Patience is an unknown skill. 

4. Even if it's yours, it's mine. (Including sippy cups, pacifiers, and lovey's.)

5. Giving love is not always loving. From taps on the head to chubby-armed hugs -- watch out.

6. Toddlers give in to peer pressure too. For example: one baby wanted out. So she slammed both hands on the door and yelled, "da-da-da!" in a desperate attempt to get her daddy to save her from the horrors of the nursery. Once she did this, all babies thought it was a great idea.

7. Toddlers justify over indulgence. EVERYONE WANTS MORE CRACKERS!

8. Playing makes your clothes fall off.  If you take your child to the nursery, but extra layers on, 'cause them shoes ain't gonna last too long (and they may be lost forever, the nursery eats stuff).

9. It's like the tower of Babel in there. Each child has their own unique language. It's not easy trying to decipher 10 different versions of "cracker" (and the weird thing is that despite the variations, they all seem to understand one another).

10. Grudges are held. I wouldn't let one girl kick another girl. Oh man, are girls stubborn! (It was her against me.) I'm not sure who won, but after removing her from the ordeal (making her MAD) she did not want me. After a time I asked her if we could cuddle for a bit and she quite honestly answered, "No." So I asked, "Are you still mad at me?" More honesty, "Yes." (By the way, she did cuddle with me and wanted no one else --despite her grudge-- so I guess something was accomplished in all of that, right?) Either way it made me giggle.

Despite these truths, I also realized this amazing truth as well: that Everyone enjoys the simple things and takes time to stand in awe of it. Like trains going by, cuddle time in a rocking chair, or finding a matching puzzle piece. Trying to teach them patience and sharing do not compare to what they teach me on a daily basis.

I encourage you to find the person in charge of setting up the nursery duty schedule in your church and volunteer your time. Jesus had a lot to say about the value of children, make them a priority, and you'll begin to understand why they're a valuable asset to any church atmosphere and why they're worth every second of our time and energy.

Sunday Social #14

1. What is your favorite Holiday Movies/TV Specials?

A Christmas Vacation!

2. Do you do any volunteering during the holidays if so what? If not what would you do?

Does nursery duty at church count as volunteering? (That's year around, so I guess the easy answer to this question is no.)
3. What is your favorite toy received as a child for the holidays? Our favorite toy growing up was Lego's so every year that's what all four of us asked for and received. I could still get out a bin of Lego's and have the time of my life! 
4. What was your must have item in high school for the holidays?  I was never really into that... so I honestly do not remember.
5. What do you do on Christmas Eve? As a child we went to our Christmas program at church and then opened presents. Now that I have my own family we don't have any Christmas Eve traditions, other than enjoying one another's company.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Gratitude (Day 10-16)

I'm a little behind the times. I planned on posting this Saturday, but we got a new-to-us computer and my dad was busy setting it up. I find posting on my iPhone difficult, time consuming, and totally not worth it, so I waited and am now EXTREMELY grateful for this wonderful gift. I might not be out of the stone ages completely, but people - I HAVE A MONITOR THAT DOESN'T TAKE UP OVER HALF OF MY DESK! Woooohoooo! That's something for which I can most definitely be grateful. It makes this "job" of posting and publishing that much more enjoyable.

Day 10 was "Nature" and as I was walking around looking for a good nature shot I realized that my flower garden still has blooms! It was beautiful, because colorful leaves had found a resting place in and around this particular plant and I found myself (once again) grateful for fall and all the colors.

After taking that shot I found myself wishing I had a worthy camera, and although that isn't a bad thing to wish for, I also chastised myself a tad. Instead of being grateful for the camera on my iPhone that does take remarkably good pictures considering, I was wishing for something else. Thank you Lord for providing me with the iPhone and all it's capabilities.

Day 11 was "Something Old" and this one wasn't hard. I display these antique books used by teachers and students from the 1800's and early 1900's. Occasionally I'll gingerly open the pages and peak at the handwriting, names and dates. They're falling apart, but it's so interesting to see what qualifies as "early readers" today vs back then. We are far, far, far behind the times. My 7th graders would've struggled with a 3rd grade reader. Makes me sad.

Day 12 was "Hands" and this one was a no brainer. I picked an old picture JUST because I loved my little Beans hands in it from the moment I took it.

Day 13 was "Written Words" and I chose John 21:25 for many reasons: 1. When my friend Deb pointed it out to me it blew my mind and I've been thinking about it ever since. 2. I'm studying the book of John with a high school student who asked me to help her learn God's Word and study it correctly. Since we started with John it's been at the forefront of my brain these last few months. 3. Our Pastor Hod taught chapter 6 of John to us in church one Sunday morning and it.blew.me.away. and I'm forever in awe over what the Bible is teaching me. Wow.

I wrote: "Wow! What He reveals to us is all we need to know for the moment. He gave us this 1 book for here and now." The way John states that last paragraph is so matter-of-fact and simple, "I suppose..." and the thought that the world could not contain the books had everything Jesus did been written down - blows me away (yup, that's a common occurrence as I study the Bible). It makes me wonder what we'll be learning in eternity. If one paragraph in the Bible "blows my mind" I imagine we'll be spending all of eternity learning about our great and awesome God. Seriously can't wait.

Day 14 was "Movement" and I captured Kyle playing tug-of-war with Quigley (his favorite game). Quigley is so strong!

Day 15 was "Technology" and I chose the keyboard. I'm forever grateful for the computer and keyboard, it's makes writing a breeze! The keyboard was a fantastic invention for all writers. It's much faster than a pen and paper and the delete button is so much easier than repairing mistakes on a typewriter. I'm thankful for the ease I can write up a blurb about -whatever-whenever- I want.

 

Day 16 (today) was "Animals" and I have 2 dogs that will forever crack me up, keep me on my toes, and show me the true meaning of unconditional love: Marley and Quigley. Marley doesn't believe he's a dog or that he's small. Quigley, on the other hand, doesn't understand how big he really is, therefore, Marley is the dominant one who is forever bullying poor Quigley. Cracks.Me.Up.

Marley (in an attempt to show dominance?) likes to sit on Quigley. Despite how difficult this is for him, he insists on doing it. The logic doesn't make sense to me, but this is a glimpse into the world of Marley. Haha.

Tomorrow (Day 17) is "Memories" and I'm really going to have to think on this one. There could be a ton of options here.... hmmmmm... I have a lot to be grateful for, so stay tuned, and join me on this photo gratitude challenge. It's never too late to start!

Ghastlies, Goops, & Pincushions

Ghastlies, Goops & Pincushions: Nonsense Verse by X.J. Kennedy
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I don't know how I ended up with this gem (probably one of my thrift store finds) but I'm ever so grateful that I dug it out of my pile of books to read to my little Briella Bean. I read one poem and couldn't stop! I was giggling at all of them, which of course, made her giggle along with me. There wasn't one I disliked and of the 50 some odd poems, I LOVED over half of them. If you're a fan of absurd goofiness, rhyming, word plays, and absolutely delightful writing, this is a must read book of poems - for all ages!

View all my reviews

My Little Bean [13 Months!]

I am in awe of what she's picked up this last month! (Bear with me because everything she does is so irresistibly adorable to me that I think everyone on God's planet earth wants to hear about it.) I don't apologize for that. She is definitely loved.

This month she's picked up how to sign please and thank you. Haha, she says please for everything now because I think she's figured out it'll get her what she wants. Great.

This girl is an eater, she always has been, but she seriously wants to eat all the time (constantly signing for "more"). I'm not sure she has a favorite anything because one day she won't eat strawberries (for example) and the next day that's all she wants to eat.

Pancake and Egg. She was saying, "mmmmmmm..."

Her favorite place to be is outside. She's figured out that a jacket and shoes means that's where we're going and she gets so so excited. If she's a grumpy mess - outside we go! She's a different child in the great outdoors.

She LOVES  books. We read a book after breakfast and lunch and I'll usually find her sitting in the turtle (a pool flotation device) talking and giggling and turning the pages. She amazes me really because she holds them with reverence and gets so irritated if she can't turn the pages (who knew that'd be a difficult task at times).

She is really good at expressing frustration. It reflects how I react in moments of frustration: clinched fists, a growl, pouting, &etc. I don't know that I've ever been frustrated enough to do that in front of her (I probably have) but she's obviously watching me or she is very much my daughter, in which case I've got my work cut out for me. I've realized that I must become more intentional in the words that I say and the things that I do, because my daughter is going to repeat them. Oy.

She kisses her reflection in the full length mirror. I have yet to get this on film, every time I pull out my camera she stops. Dang it.

She scraped up her forehead and nose when she tried to run down our cement driveway. Poor girl. She's pretty good at this whole walking thing, but is still pretty wobbly.

If she loves something, it gets an aw-aw-aw: her blankie's, toys, food, mommy's legs (I'll be doing dishes and get a little Bean at my feet, squeezing my legs and repeating "aw-aw-aw" over and over again as she pats me, reducing my heart to a puddle on the floor.), poor Marley gets chased all day in a desperate attempt to give him loves...

So we put him in the crib with Bean and she took advantage, notice how he's loving all the attention? Hehe.

This is my "my-heart-is-reduced-to-a-puddle-on-the-floor" look.

She has an obsession with stuffed animals and their noses. She'll give the little toy aw-aw-aw's and then pick at the nose. Her Minnie Mouse has chunks missing from her little nose because I'm also pretty sure she chews on her! LOL.

Daddy gets aw-aw-aw's the moment he walks through the door. It's another heart on the floor moment, I'm going to have nothing left if she keeps doing this to me! ;) Quigley would get more aw-aw-aw's if he wasn't trying to lick her as she's simultaneously trying to give him loves. Those two crack me up.

Recently cousin Alexi has decided that she "loves Brielle so much that she's a sister" (she told her mommy she loves Brielle too much to be a cousin). (Did you say "AW!" out loud while reading that?)

These two are pretty cute. I have a feeling they're going to be BFF's.

Every where we go she makes a bee-line for wheeled toys AND makes a "brrrrrmmmmm" noise as she pushes it across the floor. I've never understood why until I watched her daddy playing with her, pushing around trucks making corresponding noises. This girl is a daddy's girl. I should've known! (By the way, I LOVE that.)

In my thankful journal this week I wrote about how amazing it is to listen to these two play as I was making dinner the other night. He is such an incredible father and I thank God for blessing me with them both, every day.

She LOVES dressing up. We put "pretties" in her hair (which she whispers "pre-pre-pre") and I gave her a bucket with necklaces and bracelets. It's hilarious to watch her put them on, for the longest time she didn't understand how to get the necklace over her head, so she stuck it under her chin and kept her chin down trying so hard to keep it on, now she's got it down. She holds her hand up in the air when she wears a bracelet and gets so frustrated when it falls off. She has this adorable little Minnie Mouse back pack that she insists on wearing all day, so cute. Also, her outfit is not complete without a "pre-pre-pre" in her hair. I'll get her all dressed up and say, "Oh, Brielle you look so pretty!" and she'll start patting her hair and -whispering- "pre-pre-pre" (seriously, she'll only say "pre-pre-pre" in a whisper).

It's so weird to think that I have this little girl who walks and talks (in her own little language) and is learning and changing and growing right before my eyes. I feel so incredibly blessed to be her mommy.

Tuesday's Top Ten [Most Embarrassing Moments]

I will argue that my embarrassing stories are hard to beat... especially number 3, or 5, oooooooor 10....

1. At one of my best friends wedding the entire wedding party was getting their picture taken at the end of these fantastic set of stairs. As one of the bride's personal attendants we were asked to join them for a picture. Those that know me know I'm not the most graceful being on the face of the planet, skipped at least two steps, flashed the entire wedding party my underwear and landed on my face. The other personal attendant in front of me, who is thankfully a close friend, didn't know she was trying to assist me as I grabbed her butt in a desperate attempt to catch myself.

2. Don't hit "reply all" in an email or you might be guilty of calling a professor you don't like, a name you should never, ever say out loud OR in your head. Instead of apologizing, (and to my everlasting shame) I desperately tried to cover it up.

3.  In the middle of an IEP meeting (which lasted especially long) I was pregnant (first trimester), tired, thirsty, hungry, and my back ached like a mother. I desperately needed to pop it, so I decided, why not? (I could give you a list of reasons why self-control is important in instances like these....) One such reason: As I reached my hands behind my back, felt the pop, breathed a sigh of relief, a button quite literally POPPED off my jacket and hit the Special Education Coordinator right in the face. Thank GOODNESS she hysterically laughed about it, but I was humiliated. What's worse is that I had a hard time controlling my giggles at that point, but I seriously think it was because I was on the verge of tears. (I even peed a little.)

4.  Kyle and I have a secret husband and wife "bucket list". Yeah, it's no longer secret. My dad accidentally found it. And by accidentally, I mean I'm an idiot and left it out in plain sight.

5. One night as I was coaching basketball before parent/teacher conferences I didn't have time to change into coaching clothes before the conferences started, so I tried coaching in heals, skirt, jacket, pantie hose, etc. Bad idea. In my frustration I decided to show the girls how to do something, tripped and fell. At least it was a girls team because they all knew the color of my underwear. (Sigh.)

6. I peed my pants when I was in the THIRD grade because I was wearing a full body suit and couldn't get it unbuttoned quickly enough, so I stayed in the stall and SCREAMED. Seriously. (And I've often wondered why my 1 year old is a drama queen already....)

7. My first year of teaching I made this BRILLIANT decision to carry around a shortened pool noodle; because I thought it was a neat idea to point at things with it and when I wanted extra emphasis I'd smack it on the table (those things make a loud POPPING sound). One of my students decided to try and take it from me by reaching between my legs and yanking up. My knee jerk reaction was to turn around and hit whatever had violated me as hard as I possibly could; thankfully I hit him with the noodle and not my fist. I'm also extremely grateful that my principal told him he would've hit him with more than a noodle and that his parents were angry at him and not me. (Whew.) Still, lesson learned. Rule #1: No noodles allowed.

8. During a test drive (with a bug) I stalled the car in the middle of a busy Fort Collins intersection and it would NOT start after that. I killed the battery. As someone drove by he so kindly yelled out the window, "Don't buy THAT car!" Yeah, thanks for the advice.

9. When I worked for the YMCA in Beatrice, NE Little Big Town came to the county fair to perform. I was a HUGE Little Big Town fan, especially of their hit "Boondocks." Well, they decided to work out at the YMCA where my best friend and I worked at the time. We had just taken the kids swimming so I was in my suit with a towel wrapped around my waist. When I saw them I was naturally excited, took off running to tell my best friend, tripped, and fell flat on my face. Hey, we got free back stage passes and their autographs. I don't know if it's because they felt sorry for me or not, but it was a fun night despite that one particular moment.

10. The first time I met an ex-boyfriend's family, his grandmother asked me to help her take a fleece pull over jacket off. "Of course!" Easy right? Well, she was wearing a silky shirt underneath and with the dry Colorado air it stuck right to the jacket. So instead of simply helping her pull off her jacket, I pulled off her shirt as well. At first I didn't realize it and began folding her jacket to put it away, until I heard her scream, "BECKY!" I wish I could say that it was as easy to put it on as it was to take it off. I was shaky, sweaty, humiliated and so was she! What's worse is that the entire family was there to witness it.

I was reminded of one of those stories recently and decided that I might as well share some of my worst moments. Do you know what's sad? It wasn't hard coming up with 10 embarrassing stories. Yup, every single story is 100% true and yes, they all belong to me. I had to share them because I think it's important to laugh at yourself and to be transparent. Not one person on the face of the planet is perfect, least of all me.

Brielle's Newest and Cutest!

Brielle has blown me away these last few weeks with everything she's doing, like...

... "ca-ca-ca-ca" is cracker. (This includes graham crackers, Cheetos, and Kix.)

... she's desperately trying to use a fork. (This was not something I taught her. She saw me using it and wanted it, so after giving it to her she began to mimic me. I WAS AMAZED. It's monkey see, monkey do. -- I just had a scary thought. -- Am I going to see my bad habits reflected through my daughter soon? Gotta be careful. Reminds me of this YouTube video I watched a while back... do you know how long it took me to find it? :) Watching it as a mother vs a teacher is a totally new, motivating, kick-me-in-the-butt experience.)

... she's obsessed with "pretties" in her hair. We went shopping for her birthday presents, which I thought was so fun. We took her with us and showed her the stuff before buying it - just to see her reaction. She LOVES this HUGE stuffed dog at the library and her reaction was the same when we found a stuffed "Lady" dog, but her reaction to a package of "pretties" was adorable. She pats her head and tries so hard to put them in her hair. She tried to put the entire package in her hair! Kyle and I were cracking up in the middle of Target. She knew she was being entertaining so she kept doing it, of course. The best part about "pretties" is that after I put one in her hair, she points to the mirror and she's patting the pretty on her head while I tell her how pretty she looks.

These cute little flowers were in the clearance basket at Dollar General. When she saw them she instantly started patting her head. How could I resist?!

... when she wants something it's "be-be-be-be" (unless it's a cracker, then it's "ca-ca-ca").

... at youth group some kids were kicking around a ball and she wanted to do it too! Ever since then when she see's a ball, she wants us to walk her around, while she kicks it (you can call me soccer mom already). Pretty amazing. She also LOVES, loves, loves to play catch. For an 11 month old, she has a pretty good arm (but are you seeing how bias I am already?!). I need to get both these things on video.

... when she's mad at mommy (because -oh-my-goodness- I wiped her snotty nose) she's instantly yelling for "da-da-da-da!" and begging to go to daddy. (So it begins.)

... I had to remove the cute canopy that hung above her bed (actually she removed it herself). She LOVED to play with it and yanked it down on top of herself the other night, scaring her half to death, which also scared daddy and I half to death. Her scared scream scares the bee-jee-bee's out of me. Welp, so much for that.

... She LOVES coconut milk. In the process of transitioning to sippy cups (she will NOT drink out of a bottle) she would only drink water. I'm not complaining, but her milk intake dramatically decreased. I tried putting breastmilk in the sippy cup, formula, juice, etc. but she'd only spit it out (unless it was water). Weird, I know. So we've been trying other things and thankfully we have a hit! We went to a restaurant in Cheyenne that specializes in juices and smoothies and she loved Kyle's coconut, pineapple, yogurt concoction (wanted nothing to do with my strawberry smoothie). Light bulb moment for me - why don't we try coconut milk?! :)

These things may not be anything big, but they are things I don't want to forget. Once I write them down I'm always thinking of Grandma's and Grandpa's, Aunts and Uncles who are also interested in her newest and cutest. This way you can oooooo and awwwwww right along with me.  

Tuesday's Top Ten [Random Things You May Not Know About Me]

1. I have an obsession with sticky notes. Just ask my former students. I use them to take notes, as a bookmark, reminder, etc. etc. They come in all sorts of fun shapes and sizes - the possibilities are endless. I have to ignore the "home office" section in any dollar store and resist the urge to "stock up" because, quite frankly, I have more than enough.

2. I don't like to throw things away. I see potential in every little bitty piece of trash. Unfortunately, there just isn't enough hours in the day to complete all the projects that I have in mind, so this is something I have to force myself to do because I also hate clutter.

3. I hate talking on the phone. I like face to face interaction much, much more (Facetime on my iPhone has been awesome!). I'm starting to like it less and less because I don't get service in my house and my daughter wants to eat it every time I'm on it. Besides, talking to a mom on the phone is like talking to someone suffering with tourettes. "Did you hear the latest from... No! Don't eat that! ... What was I saying? Oh, yeah, the latest on... NO! ... Hold on... I forgot what we were talking about, sorry!" I find it annoying and it's starting to become my life, not only because my daughter wants to play with electrical cords and the dog's water dish, but also because most of the women in my life are busy moms. That's why I love texting and social networking; much less stressful.

4. I am a terrible speller. Yes, I do have a degree in English Language Arts, but that does not make me an expert in it.

5. I pick a restaurant based on it's bread. It's my fav.

6. I have lotion in almost every room in my house. I'm addicted.

7. I've wanted a pet mouse for as long as I can remember. My mom wouldn't let me have one and now my hubby says, "NO WAY!" Dang. IT!

8. I still hold a grudge against Suzanne Collins for ending "Gregor the Overlander" the way she did. UGH!

9. I love shoes but would rather be barefoot. Yeah, that's quite the dillema.

10. I'd rather be outside pulling weeds than inside watching TV. However, I have enjoyed watching "Hell on Wheels," "Duck Dynasty," and "Once Upon a Time" with my hubby.

The Fly Dance

I had to take a break from painting and various chores to share with you my irritation with our fly population. They're out of control! We always buy this fly catcher thingy and it works great, but it still doesn't make all the flies disappear. I can only imagine how bad they'd be if we didn't have it...

BEWARE!

The picture shows a disgusting amount of dead, stinky, maggot swarming amount of flies...

Yes... it needs to be cleaned out. Any takers?

The problem is that I'm doing projects outside like watering my flowers, or weeding, or painting trim or hanging laundry and every time I stand there doing one of these projects I do what I've now referred to as "the fly dance" and it goes something like this (I'm not sure if there's a tune, it's just how I picture myself "dancing" away the flies)...

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Shake your right leg here...

Shake your left leg there...

Shake your right leg in the air...

Stomp your feet and yell if you dare!

Swipe your face here...

Swipe your arm there..

Swipe your ear too..

Swipe at your hair do!

Shake, Shake, Shake...

Shake your arms...

Shake your elbows...

Swipe, Swipe, Swipe!

Shake your right leg here...

Shake your left leg there...

Shake your knees all about...

Stomp your feet and try not to pout!

Wiggle your toes...

Wiggle your nose...

Wiggle your fingers too...

Do what you gotta do!

Shake, Shake, Shake...

Shake, Shake, Shake...

Shake your booty...

Shake your booty...

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Yup, the fly dance rhyme is ridiculous! And I'm sure that's how I look - ridiculous! Stupid flies.

The Lone Pea Plant vs. Crazy Quigley

If you haven't figured it out from my post a long, long time ago that Quigley is crazy, well, just know that stories involving this sweet, HUGE, goober of a dog will always be interesting.

To our everlasting frustration Quigley is a digger. If he has something that he likes, his way of keeping it is by burying it, thus it is hidden in his mind. I'll find random rawhides, for example, "hidden" (or "buried") in corners and couch cushions throughout the house. Welllllll, I made the mistake of putting my little potted garden by the hose in the backyard.

He dug in my peas.

We decided to smooth out the dirt and just wait. If I didn't have peas, I'd replant them. To my surprise they survived (they're a jumbled mess, but I'm not going to complain! It's an easy fix.).

This weekend my father came up to visit us and as we're BEEEEELAXIN (what my 3 year old nephew Gary calls relaxing) on the back porch, Poppy looks over and hmmmm's... "that looks like a pea plant!"

And lo and behold, in one of Quigley's holes, there's a lone pea plant in our backyard. We laughed about this for a while.

I decided to keep this lone pea plant there as a reminder of this crazy dog, who can irritate the fire out of me, and yet bring so much joy and laughter into our home and is most definitely teaching me a valuable lesson in patience.

I was trying to get a picture with him and Brielle but he was only interested in giving me kisses or sitting in my lap (we haven't told him that he's not Marley sized and we haven't told Marley, who's a miniature rat terrier, that he's not Quigley sized. Oi.)

10 Housewife Facts I Wish I Could Ignore

I'm a terrible housewife. Cleaning, cooking, and organizing a home was never something I saw myself doing. However, it is where I feel the Lord wants me, so it's where I'll stay as long as this is His plan for me. I never, ever thought I'd be saying this but, "I love it!" I love being home with my daughter and being there for every milestone, big and small. I love being able to teach her words, sounds, songs, games &etc. I love baking (and I'm slowly catching on to the tricks of the trade). I love finding creative ways to save us money. I love decorating and making our home, our home. However, there are a few facts of life as a housewife I really, really wish I could ignore.... Whether you stay at home or not, I think everyone might be able to relate to this list:

1. The road to organization is a messy one. I make piles: toss pile, yard sale pile, storage pile, don't-know-what-to-do-with-it pile....
2. Sweeping and vacuuming under the furniture is necessary. You should've seen the dust bunny I accrued because I neglected this fact for over a month, or two....
3. It's easier to put things where they belong right away rather than just tossing it on the kitchen table, the living room couch, the bed, or the floor so when it comes time to actually clean it's much less time consuming. Although I know this, I ignore it Sunday afternoon after church when I throw my nice clothes on the bed once I've slipped into comfy sweats, vowing to put them away "later".
4. Just because I put clothes in the washer and started it, does not mean I've "done laundry" today. Doing laundry also includes drying, folding and putting them away. (Same rule applies to the dishwasher, thank goodness I don't have to fold dishes!)
5. The kitchen floor needs attention, daily.
6. If you don't wash down the inside of your trash can occasionally, the smell can become as rank as the trash itself.
7. Knickknacks are cute, but the more you display the more you look like you should belong on the "help me, I'm a hoarder!" show and the more you have to dust. If I were to pick a favorite chore, dusting would be it, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it (seriously, who enjoys chores?).
8. Just because you have a junk drawer, a junk basket, or a junk box doesn't mean you should keep the junk. (Don't judge me for having all three.)
9. Starting one project always leads to another. When I clean the kitchen, for example, I find an item that belongs in the office, so I run it down the office, put it away and realize that that needs to be organized better, so I begin that project, totally forgetting about the kitchen, so I leave that project to finish the kitchen but get distracted on the way when I find the family room a disaster.
10. Realizing that the yummy candle you just lit does not eliminate the stinky smell you can't find, so you close all your curtains as you run around the house sniffing everything - dogs, baby's butt, the bottom of the trash can, the inside of the dishwasher, between couch cushions, under the sink, refrigerator shelves... Until you find it and scrub it.

I really do wish I could ignore these facts, but its impossible. Still, you can get a lot done in the 10 minutes before company arrives (or before your hubby gets home just so it looks like you actually accomplished something during the day). THAT'S a universal truth all housewives CAN appreciate!

My Nephews are SILLY

I am a proud Auntie of two little nephews who, as I FaceTime with my sister, offer laughs GALORE. I giggle about their antics even as I write this...

I ask my nephew Gary, "I hear you like to play Lego's with your brother?"

"Yeah, and train tracks, and trains, and freight cars too!"

Gary wanted to show me the Christmas tree he "helped" decorate. He begins pulling all the ornaments off the tree and showing them to me, telling me what they are and that he, "likes this one."

Occasionally he'd pull one off, show it to me, and say, "This one is... Mom, what's this one?"

Hunter joined in the action and would tap the phone with the ornament making little, "Eh, Uh, Eh" noises.

One time his klutzy, adorable little self fell as he reached for one, taking in a mouthful of Christmas tree. Mel giggled as she literally pulled pine needles out of his mouth. He honestly didn't seem to mind.

The Christmas tree was being stripped bare, until Mel finally had to tell them that I'd seen enough ornaments. Mel's smart. She commented later that all the breakable ornaments were strategically located at the top of the tree, making them untouchable for little fingers.

After the boys finished showing off their tree, my sister and I sat down for a conversation about everything, but nothing in particular. In the middle of the conversation my sister yelled, "Ow! Stop biting my knee!"

And, "Boys! The couch is NOT your chew toy!"

Then she looked at me and said, "This is my life."

What a life. I love every minute of being a small part of it. I still laugh out loud. Never a dull moment in their household!

CraaAaaAzzzzy Quigley

Kyle came home one evening telling me that some friends of ours in town had a puppy randomly show up in their back yard with no intentions of leaving. They have two dogs of their own, a three year old and a newborn, so they had their hands plenty full already. They called the police hoping someone had reported a missing dog... nada. They called the pound hoping they'd have more success finding someone to adopt this adorable pup, but pounds are overflowing and their policy is that if the owner does not claim the dog within three days he would be euthinized. That yanked at our heart strings and we decided to give this dog a home. We took him wondering if this was going to work out. After all, we have a needy dog of our own. Marley's a spoiled rotten brat. AND we have a two month old. Kyle was worried if I'd be ok taking care of a newborn and training a new puppy. So we made no promises in keeping him around. Plus, we're trying to get rid of expenses not tack them on! We know this dog is going to be BIG so we guessed we'd be plunking down at least $50 a month for food, not to mention vet expenses (he definitely needs to get those balls chopped off... poor guy), and shots, etc. etc. There were a lot of big "IF's"...

However, that all changed once we got to know this silly dog! He's so laid back and sensitive. So far he's been a breeze to train, only having a few accidents in the house. I laughed so hard one night because he was sprinting as fast as he could to the back door, with his legs spread apart, crying and dribbling the entire way. He gobbles down the water so it's no wonder he barely made it, and when he does pee its his own small pond. He's getting it.

He thinks he's a lap dog. If I'm on the floor, he's right there wanting to be in my lap.

If I'm sitting down, he's right there wanting to play. Placing his head on my lap, nudging the book, licking, licking, licking, grunting, crying, bringing a toy (hint! hint!), trying to steal my slippers... it's all really irritating until I look down into his sweet little puppy eyes.

We had to teach him NOT to lick Brielle. If Brielle's on my lap, he wants to be RIGHT there checking her out. If she's in her swing he puts his big head right in her lap and just stares. He sat in the back of the truck with her on the way to Kyle's parent's house for Thanksgiving and we look back to see Quigley's head on her car seat, watching her like a hawk. He constantly wants to lick her hands (which she wants to put in her mouth all the time) so that had to be stopped immediately. But it was reassuring to see him being so gentle with her!

He chases Marley around the house. Marley is NOT a fan. He hides where ever he finds a spot Quigley cannot or will not go. Like behind doors or down the stairs.

He's scared to death of the stairs. I can totally understand why since he biffed it going up the one step onto our porch. He seriously landed flat on his face. My neighbors probably heard me giggling over that one.

He's still rather clumsy, constantly tripping over his enormous paws!

He doesn't seem to mind cats. I took him to a farm where he met them (I think for the first time). He's so curious about everything, so he was doubly curious about these silly looking creatures.

The thing is, we learned all this stuff within the first week of knowing him and we were hooked. We still hadn't named him (for fear of getting really attached) but he was beginning to respond to "PUPPY!" so we picked a name. We were randomly calling out names, trying to decide what fit and what we both agreed on.... here was our  "potential" list:

Moose (cause he seriously looks like a gangly moose!)
Thor (cause we know he's going to be BIG and his bark LOUD)
Quigley (cause we guessed that he had been on some kind of adventure, like Quigley Down Under!)
Shiloh (cause we both like the book, lol)
Optimus (to go along with Gorgatron - Marley's weird nickname given by Kyle's friends!)

I really liked Moose, but Kyle thought it was "okay". Thankfully we both really liked Quigley. Plus, it just fits his crazy, laid back personality.

He already has a stocking that I can't wait to fill with all kinds of toys to chew. He can definitely entertain himself as long as he has a chew toy. So far he's a fan of ropes. Those seem to be his favorite, especially when Kyle and I play tug of war with him.

We can't leave anything on the floor. He's already destroyed a hair clip, rattle, one of Kyle's slippers (eeek!), and a blanket (just the tag).... The baskets that are on the floor, under the coffee table, used to have neatly tied bows on them. He decided he didn't like that too much. No more bows.

As far as what type of dog he is we're not sure. We're guessing he's a mix of lab and bulldog. We've even thrown around lab and boxer. He has a pit bull face, so maybe lab and pitbull? We don't know, but we have an appointment with the vet this week so hopefully he'll be able to be more precise. We know he's lab and something. Whatever he is, he's a keeper. I don't think Marley agree's just yet, but yesterday he did play with him for a whole five seconds, until he realized I was watching.... ;) I have a feeling they'll be best buds someday. It may take a while (cause Marley's super stubborn) but Quigley already worships the ground Marley walks on - doing EVERYTHING he does (goodie) - and knowing Marley's personality I think he'll appreciate having him around, just like we do! He brightens up my day with his goofy, nutty personality. He fits right in!

I can't wait to see what life has in store for this crazy dog. I'm almost 100% positive I'll have stories to share and things to write about the crazy stuff Quigley does.