Bennett's Birth Story [Water Birth]

Another incredible story of trust in GOD's perfect timing, thank you Emily for sharing it with us!

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Bennett's birth, early in the morning of September 5th, was perfect!

I am blessed beyond words with amazing family and friend support God has carefully placed in my life. As I type this, my son is being doted upon by his honorary aunties who I am fairly sure are feeding him mac and cheese and juice, the good stuff he doesn’t get at home. The night Bennett was born, I was surrounded by my three best friends as we planned the final details for one of their weddings and I baked a cake for a coworker leaving the Division the next day. I didn’t feel any different than normal and hurriedly went about the work that needed to be done. Amongst the giggles, printer noise and paper cutter slicing, I stopped to use the restroom. I stood up and turned bright red with embarrassment, I had always heard very pregnant mama’s sometimes pee themselves but thankfully up until this exact moment in time, I had avoided that lovely side effect of pregnancy. I quickly changed and started back downstairs when it happened again…a small woosh of liquid everywhere. The girls called out to check on me. I answered in a quiet voice, “I think my water just broke…” All three were hovered around me in our small upstairs bathroom in what felt like seconds! We decided to call our doula and the midwifery. The midwifery told me I had an appointment at 10 am the next morning to check me and to try to get some sleep. 12 hours later… little did I know... that would be much too long to wait. 

Our doula, who technically wasn’t even “on call” yet, (our contract stated she would be available 2 weeks prior) told us to start tracking contractions as they came. Immediately one of my girlfriends grabbed a note pad and began writing out columns. She is a VERY organized person. Another friend grabbed the computer to begin downloading music for me. I had asked for a good “birthing mix” earlier in the week. The third friend downloaded a stop watch app on her phone. I, feeling no contractions yet, called my husband who was at work, and told him what was going on. He asked if he could finish some things and I said yes but to be ready if I called back. I then proceeded to march to the kitchen to finish the cake I had promised my coworkers! My three girlfriends laughed and followed my every move. About an hour later contractions started and never stopped. 

“CONTRACTION!” I’d yell. 

“Timer!” someone would say. 

“Got it!” another friend would yell. 

We had planned an all natural birth at the only free standing birthing center in Colorado. I was excited to trust in God and my body, and birth my son naturally in the water. But oh my!!!! If this is just the beginning of labor, stage 1, and thinking, I am totally going to fail at this! What was I thinking!!!! This hurts! Oh Lord please help me, I can’t do this…

Another hour later my contractions were all over the place. No rhyme or reason, no consistency in length, duration, time in between. I called my husband as the pain intensified. "Please come home," I begged. He agreed and said he was leaving to make the 20 minute drive home. I called my doula and let her know how things were going. She agreed to come to my house even though I was only 2.5 hours into labor. I told my girlfriends they could go home. It was late and they all had to work in the morning. Thank the Lord they did not listen to me and leave! I wasn’t sure what I felt. I thought I had to use the bathroom. I kept going back and forth from my bed (yea right-I was trying to “get some sleep”) to the bathroom but I really didn’t need to go. Then I said it out loud, words that scared everyone in the room…

“I feel like I need to push.” 

I was still at home. My husband was not there, my doula was not there. What was about to happen? Immediately my friends called my doula who said we needed to leave for the birth center right away and she would meet us there. She would not be coming to the house. I called my husband who was just pulling into the driveway. My friends rushed me into his car with our “go bag”. My husband called the midwifery as we started the drive. Unknown to me, they told him if there was a hospital between our house and the midwifery, we needed to go there instead. Thankfully my husband knows me too well and we pushed on. The normally 25 minute drive only took us 14 minutes. As I look back I am very thankful we trusted in the Lord and His timing. I felt calm and confident He was with us and taking care of every step along this journey. God really does have perfect timing doesn’t He? 

Our doula met us in the front of the building. I was led into the front room where I had one big contraction. Once I got into the room I just kept asking to get in the tub. The midwife and nurse helped me undress and asked me to lay on a bed first to be checked and to place the monitor on the baby. I responded in tears “there’s not time”. The midwife checked me standing up and told me to get in the tub b/c she felt Bennett’s head! 2 pushes later, 7 minutes from the time we pulled up to the midwifery in our car, my beautiful 6 pound 15.5 ounce baby boy was born naturally in the water. 

As hectic as it seems when I say or type the story, I was very much at peace the entire time. I felt God’s presence and knew he was watching over all of us. It was incredible. 

My husband and I were fortunate enough to have hired an amazing doula who took photos. We got to spend time with Bennett in the tub and then in the bed in the room and he never left our side. We delayed cord cutting and worked on breastfeeding until Bennett latched and sleepily napped on my chest. I took him into the regular bath with me once I was taken care of and able to move around. My husband and I gave Bennett his first bath together in warm water full of healing herbs. 

As I dried off, my husband took our new baby to get weighed and measured then we snuggled a bit longer together as a family. 

Bennett was observed with us for 4 hours and finally the 3 of us went home. Yes, home to our house, our bed, and our dogs with our new baby. It was incredible and peaceful. Ironically we were observed longer than my entire labor. My husband still laughs, he was home with Bennett sooner than he would have been had he have worked his entire shift! From water breaking, to Bennett’s birth, it was 3 hours and 53 minutes. We now know to go to the midwifery immediately if my water breaks for baby #2. Especially if “they” are right and 2nd babies come faster than first babies.

Tuesday's Top Ten [Reasons to Emulate My Husband]

My husband is a rare soul and I just don't brag on him enough, so here's my opportunity to share ten things that my husband does everyday that reflect qualities all men should emulate, because he is a phenomenal husband and father.

1. He gets up at 4 am to work out every day. Now I'm not saying you should do that, perhaps that isn't your thing, but here's why this is so significant. First of all, he's been doing that for over a year now (Dedication & Hard Work) but the reason why is HUGE. He loves to work out, he works out because he feels better as a result, it's his thing and we used to do it together every day after work. When we added our baby girl to the mix that became more complicated. I was no longer able to go with him. When he'd come home from work around 5:30-6 ish and then work out until 7-7:30 ish, he didn't really see his family. Rather than giving up something he enjoys, he sacrificed to make it work in order to have more time with his family. 
2. He works long hours and works hard at a job that is not necessarily his dream job. He has a dream that involves more school, but he set his dreams aside to take care of his family first. I can not tell you how many times he tells me that he works to take care of us, and to make sure that we have everything we need and want. I am spoiled.
3. When he comes home from work, he plays with his daughter while I cook supper. She loves this and so do I. It's so much easier to accomplish this task when she's not at my feet begging to eat and eat and eat. His selflessness in this is huge. I'm sure he's tired from work. I'm sure that there are time he'd rather go downstairs and flip on a football game, but it's obvious that his family's needs are always, always, always above his own or anyone else's for that matter. 
4. He helps me with the dishes every evening after dinner. Do you know how much I enjoy that time with him? Do you know how much we talk during that time together? Do you know how much that simple, 30 minute task means to me? 
5. He spoils me in more ways than I can possibly share here. Let me give you a few ways how he does that: we'll go shopping and he'll always ask me, "Is there anything you want babe?" or I'll be admiring something and he'll tell me, "Whatever you want babe." or we'll be downstairs watching TV and he'll ask me, "What do you want to watch babe?" or we'll have free time on a Saturday afternoon and he'll ask, "What do you want to do babe?" He's always asking questions like, "What can I do to make you happy?" I am spoiled by a selfless man who provides for and cherishes his family on a daily basis.
6. He is quick to apologize. If he has screwed up and he knows it, I will hear him say, "I'm so sorry, will you forgive me?"AND HE HAS NEVER, EVER, EVER GONE TO BED MAD AT ME, and he has never, ever, ever gone to bed when he knows I'm mad at him, he is quick to resolve.
7. He is quick to say, "I forgive you." He does not hold grudges, he thanks me for saying I'm sorry and he loves on me afterwards.
8. He married a woman that is not "Becky Home-ecky" (in other words I am not domestically inclined), but I have never once, not once, heard him complain about a meal gone bad (or having to eat the leftovers) or a messy house.
9. Every day he comes home and listens to me, actually listens. I might tell him about my day with the Bean and show him video's or pictures that I've taken. Or there may be an issue I've been praying about and need his guidance. Or there are times I need him to simply hold me as I cry. No matter what it is my husband is quick to show compassion and I trust him in his advice on how to fix it; because he is wise, which leads me to my next point...
10. I saved this one for last because I believe it's the most valuable. Every day I see my husband spend time in God's Word and every day I see him try to emulate Christ in love, kindness, patience, and gentleness. That's reason enough to emulate this man, because his love for me gives me a picture of how Christ loves his church. (Read Ephesians 5:28-30 and you will know exactly what I mean here.)

I have zero reasons to complain about this wonderful man God put in my life. I feel blessed beyond words and if those qualities don't speak enough about him, check out these photographs that show it.

Whispering sweet nothings (he does this often) and no, I won't share those sweet nothings with you. :)

Singing to me. 

Every night he reads to his daughter.

Every day he plays with her (she loves to play with trucks, sound effects are always needed).

With his nephew...

With his daughter...

With his daughter...

With his niece...

His look when he saw me... (yeah, this pic makes my heart melt...)

He took me to Disney World for our first anniversary. That's love.

With his nephew...

With his nephew...

Marley was cold...

If you find a man who's goal in life is to be like Christ, do not let him go. Because of Christ, he will grow and grow and grow in wisdom, in love, in his need to protect, provide, cherish and nourish you. He will understand your submission to him as he submits to Christ in his own life. He will be sincere, he will show grace, and you can rest in this one amazing fact: you don't have to live in fear over good-bye's because this world is not his home.

A Beautiful Adoption Story

One of my friends on Facebook shared this incredible story, the piece I found most incredible was the Father's description on adoption. There are times I can think of nothing else to say but, "WOW." and this is one such instance.

"Anytime I think about adoption I think about my spiritual adoption, about how Jesus went to infinitely greater lengths to adopt me into the family of God. What a privilege it is to, in a smaller way, in a human way, live out some of the truth of the gospel."

And if that wasn't incredible enough he goes on to say this, 

"The nurse just asked us if we're excited to meet our son and I paused for second there because I think it's the first time I heard someone else refer to him as our son."

'Baby Wise' Book Review

After reading this book, I wrote a raving review and it's been floating around in my draft section for almost a year now. I think it's time I share this, because everything I wrote when Brielle was just a few months old, are truths I still believe in today. I look back at that time of my life as less stressful because I applied the principles Ezzo and Bucknam suggested. That doesn't mean that the first few months were easy, but it simply means that the work I put in to establishing a schedule were so so worth it and I'm still seeing the results of that work.

Baby Wise Book Review 

Many, many mothers recommended the book 'Baby Wise' by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam. Due to the overwhelming amount of women telling me, "You HAVE to read this!" I decided one night, after hitting my ultimate frustration level, to buy it, hoping it would give me the answers I desperately needed. I was pleasantly surprised by the practical, common sense advice the authors gave. I could actually see how the routine was easily applicable and couldn't wait to get to work - hoping it would help my poor baby sleep! She's a fighter!

Reading this book gave me the tools I needed to determine why my daughter was staying awake between 10 pm and 2-4 am. Setting up the suggested routine also helped me understand my daughters needs. Thank goodness every cry didn't mean, "FEED ME!" otherwise my breasts would've become a giant blister, cracking, bloody mess. (And you think I'm joking...) This book also helped me help my daughter sleep, which allowed me to get the doctor recommended rest after my postpartum hemorrhaging surgery, which I originally thought was impossible, being a brand new mom.

The Marriage Factor

The piece I loved most was the discussion on marriage and how it affects your children, even as a newborn.

"Marriage is more than a legal status between two people; it is a living entity that reflects a special bond between a man and a woman - it's a unique relationship, one without parallel. While marriage transcends all other relationships, it is not disconnected from parenting. Just as the human heart pumps oxygen-rich blood to the body, so a healthy marriage fuels all the cells that make parenting come alive. It is truly an amazing relationship! That is why couples with great marriages make great parents, and their children are the benefactors."

Isn't that beautiful? It's beautiful because it's 110% true. Marriage is a reflection of our relationship with Jesus Christ. The husband reflecting Christ, and the woman reflecting the church, and the two coming together as one flesh, keeping Christ as the focal point, makes the home a wonderful, loving, inviting environment. Just reading about the marriage factor in the first chapter made me want to keep reading this book!

"Men are not born good husbands, nor women good wives. They come that way only through self-sacrifice, patience, and a devotional commitment to the happiness and welfare of the other."

So true! A good marriage is a direct reflection of the selfless decision that a man and a woman make to make it work. It takes work. Lots of work. But it's a choice that I wouldn't take back because the friendship formed is beyond words.

"Children need to see an ongoing love relationship that includes mom and dad enjoying each other as friends and not just parents. They also need to see their parents talking, laughing, working together and resolving conflicts with a mutual respect for each other. We cannot over emphasize this point: the more parents demonstrate love for each other, the more they saturate their child's senses with confidence of a loving, safe and secure world."

 I love that. Such a wonderful reminder.

"When there is harmony in the marriage, there is an infused stability within the family. ...healthy, loving marriages create a sense of certainty for children."

 Need further reminders?

"When the marriage relationship is beautiful, what impressionable child would not desire to share in its joy? When two are beautifully one, what child would not seek the comforts of their togetherness? ... Healthy parenting flows from healthy marriages."

Wow.

 Relating it to the Classroom (I can't help it!)

I'm a teacher at heart. I've learned to read, cross reference, research, ask questions, try something, try something else - just to help someone! Before it was me helping a struggling reader to read. Now it's things like sleeping, passing gas, and eating times! I've learned that there's always something to learn. Thankfully, as I read this book, I was able to relate it to classroom learning. The point they made was a concept I believe about the development of students in regards to reading and learning. Period.

"All human beings are uniquely different, yet we share developmental similarities that serve as a basis for achievement levels. A basic routine enhances learning because order and predictability are natural allies of the learning process."

Wow. The same is true for any classroom. I noticed a change in my students progress from one year to the next just because of the classroom routine. It stayed the same every. single. day. So the students knew exactly what to expect. There were minimal behavior issues and optimal learning. Why wouldn't the same concept work for my baby? Where she sleeps, why she is or is not sleeping, the time she gets up, her bedtime routine, etc. etc. are all uniquely hers. This book simply guides you in recognizing your babies needs so you can effectively set up a routine unique to your babies needs. Once your routine is set your baby will experience the power of learning - just like an effective classroom setting! Learning to eat, sleep, play and about the world around her will improve once her routine is in place.

Babywise Babies

These authors give you the confidence that your baby has the ability to sleep continuously through the night by 7-10 weeks of age. I didn't want to go in as a skeptical mom. If I was going to try this, I was going to go in confident. After all, I can count numerous mothers of multiple children that promise they have achieved this feat with their children. They recommended this book to me! So I was going to believe what Ezzo and Bucknam state about a babies sleeping possibilities,

"... healthy, full-term babies are born with the capacity to achieve 7-8 hours of continuous nighttime sleep between seven and ten weeks of age and 10 to 12  hours of sleep by twelve weeks of age. But these achievements require parental guidance and a basic understand of how a baby's routine impacts healthy outcomes."

I love their quote about advice from the skeptical moms,

"Well-meaning friends may have told the inexperienced first time mom that every child is different. They go on to say that some babies are born sleepers, and others are not. New mothers hope they luck-out and get a sleeper."

I read that and snorted/laughed. I heard that more times than I can count and I'm most definitely that 'inexperienced first time mom.' I just thought I didn't "luck-out." The more I began to follow the advice given in this book, along with the help of those mom's who recommended this book to me, the more success I began to notice with my daughter. AND I realized that they weren't just spouting gibberish, they backed that profound statement with statistics that would blow your socks off! Seriously, more mom's have seen success with the advice Ezzo and Bucknam give, than you can possibly imagine. They give you confidence from the get-go,

"Rest assured,  you can and should expect your baby to acquire the skill of sleeping through the night, but rarely does it happen without parental training."

So how do you do it? Well I highly recommend you buy the book! They give advice from everything like bowel movements, breastfeeding, practical routines, what to do if you have a colicky/acid reflux baby, or what to do during growth spurts, etc. etc. etc. There's so much helpful information!

I noticed that once I began a routine I knew exactly what she needed. So I thought through everything I did to help determine why she was screaming. I eventually began to narrow it down to gas. Once we figured out that she had a miserably gassy belly (I could seriously feel and hear when she got a gas bubble as she ate, and as soon as I felt/heard it, she'd throw her head back, stiffen her legs, and scream until she released it), we helped her release it by giving her tummy massages, we brought her knees to her chest, gave her Gripe Water and when those things began to help her relieve that pressure, she almost instantly calmed down and went to sleep! I've also cut out the food that causes gas (dairy, onions, peppers, caffeine, certain spices) and that has helped tremendously. Plus, I realized (thanks to the book) that at 6 weeks when she spent 4 days of the week wide awake between 10 pm and 2-4am screaming off and on, happy absolutely no where, that she was going through a growth spurt. Once that was over she literally wanted to sleep all day and all night for 2 days straight! Once that was over, we were back to the routine and she was successfully sleeping at night! Which left me feeling like I was actually recovering from my back to back surgeries! What amazed me further was that Ezzo and Bucknam said that would happen,

"An infant's feeding routine benefit mom as well. She is healthier, more rested, and less stressed. She has time and energy for other important relationships: her husband, parents, family, and friends."

 Very true.

"As life with baby becomes more predictable, Mom can confidently plan the day's activities, knowing she is meeting her baby's needs."

Also very true, because I am able to write in this blog! When I originally wrote this review, Brielle was finally into a schedule, which took approximately 4 months of hard, exhausting work. After this schedule was finally established I felt confident in writing, "In 5 minutes I know she needs to eat. We'll have a few minutes where we'll do tummy time, or read a book, or admire the ceiling fan or look in the mirrors (her favorite), and then I can put her in her stroller where she'll successfully fall asleep while I walk downtown to run a few errands. That's my plan for today and I'm relaxed, rested, and feel like a confident mom!" I still apply some of the principles of the book in my one year old's schedule, which has changed dramatically since writing this review originally. Scheduling has helped me out tremendously. If you too are a mom that needs to hash out a day in order to do this job successfully, this book will help you do that. Get the book, start a routine, and you too will find that the possibilities Ezzo and Bucknam promised are yours as well.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Gratitude [Day 3: Happiness]

I wait until the end of the day to post my favorite photo to go along with the day's theme, so I'm a day behind on posting it here. Yesterday's theme was happiness. All day I was reflecting on the many the ways in which God has blessed me: I'm happy because I have an amazing husband. I'm happy because together we share in the joy of having a beautiful daughter. I'm happy because our dogs show us daily the meaning of unconditional love. I'm happy because I have a phenomenal family. I'm happy because I have an amazing church family. I'm happy because I have an amazing group of women that I'm blessed to call friends. I have so so so so so many reasons to be happy. And yesterday I spent the day thanking God for giving me happiness. I had zero issues in capturing happiness.

We decided to spend the evening grilling at a lake approximately 10 minutes from where we live. My sister and her hubby live an island life and filled our freezer full of fresh seafood on their visit this summer, so we grabbed the lobster tail, a colorful vegetable arrangement (thanks to Bountiful Baskets), garlic bread, and a couple of Redd's Apple Ale and headed down the road. It was an awesome night.

I truly believe happiness is found in the small things that God gave us to enjoy, like...

... colorful, yummy vegetables sauteed over an open fire with butter and sea salt...

... a dog and his ball...

... a wonderful husband who's an amazing s'more maker...

... a daughter who's favorite place to be is outside AND eating to boot...

... a daughters first experience eating (and LOVING) s'mores...

... and happiness is for sure in an October Silhouette that truly reflects the love between a father and his daughter...

I didn't realize that undertaking this photo challenge would force me to look for perfect picture opportunities in the simplest, but most amazing things like smiles, leaves, or a morning sky. Once I find that "perfect picture" I also find myself thanking God for giving me the opportunity to enjoy it. It's like a picture thankful journal and one I'll probably do every year!

My Little Bean [13 Months!]

I am in awe of what she's picked up this last month! (Bear with me because everything she does is so irresistibly adorable to me that I think everyone on God's planet earth wants to hear about it.) I don't apologize for that. She is definitely loved.

This month she's picked up how to sign please and thank you. Haha, she says please for everything now because I think she's figured out it'll get her what she wants. Great.

This girl is an eater, she always has been, but she seriously wants to eat all the time (constantly signing for "more"). I'm not sure she has a favorite anything because one day she won't eat strawberries (for example) and the next day that's all she wants to eat.

Pancake and Egg. She was saying, "mmmmmmm..."

Her favorite place to be is outside. She's figured out that a jacket and shoes means that's where we're going and she gets so so excited. If she's a grumpy mess - outside we go! She's a different child in the great outdoors.

She LOVES  books. We read a book after breakfast and lunch and I'll usually find her sitting in the turtle (a pool flotation device) talking and giggling and turning the pages. She amazes me really because she holds them with reverence and gets so irritated if she can't turn the pages (who knew that'd be a difficult task at times).

She is really good at expressing frustration. It reflects how I react in moments of frustration: clinched fists, a growl, pouting, &etc. I don't know that I've ever been frustrated enough to do that in front of her (I probably have) but she's obviously watching me or she is very much my daughter, in which case I've got my work cut out for me. I've realized that I must become more intentional in the words that I say and the things that I do, because my daughter is going to repeat them. Oy.

She kisses her reflection in the full length mirror. I have yet to get this on film, every time I pull out my camera she stops. Dang it.

She scraped up her forehead and nose when she tried to run down our cement driveway. Poor girl. She's pretty good at this whole walking thing, but is still pretty wobbly.

If she loves something, it gets an aw-aw-aw: her blankie's, toys, food, mommy's legs (I'll be doing dishes and get a little Bean at my feet, squeezing my legs and repeating "aw-aw-aw" over and over again as she pats me, reducing my heart to a puddle on the floor.), poor Marley gets chased all day in a desperate attempt to give him loves...

So we put him in the crib with Bean and she took advantage, notice how he's loving all the attention? Hehe.

This is my "my-heart-is-reduced-to-a-puddle-on-the-floor" look.

She has an obsession with stuffed animals and their noses. She'll give the little toy aw-aw-aw's and then pick at the nose. Her Minnie Mouse has chunks missing from her little nose because I'm also pretty sure she chews on her! LOL.

Daddy gets aw-aw-aw's the moment he walks through the door. It's another heart on the floor moment, I'm going to have nothing left if she keeps doing this to me! ;) Quigley would get more aw-aw-aw's if he wasn't trying to lick her as she's simultaneously trying to give him loves. Those two crack me up.

Recently cousin Alexi has decided that she "loves Brielle so much that she's a sister" (she told her mommy she loves Brielle too much to be a cousin). (Did you say "AW!" out loud while reading that?)

These two are pretty cute. I have a feeling they're going to be BFF's.

Every where we go she makes a bee-line for wheeled toys AND makes a "brrrrrmmmmm" noise as she pushes it across the floor. I've never understood why until I watched her daddy playing with her, pushing around trucks making corresponding noises. This girl is a daddy's girl. I should've known! (By the way, I LOVE that.)

In my thankful journal this week I wrote about how amazing it is to listen to these two play as I was making dinner the other night. He is such an incredible father and I thank God for blessing me with them both, every day.

She LOVES dressing up. We put "pretties" in her hair (which she whispers "pre-pre-pre") and I gave her a bucket with necklaces and bracelets. It's hilarious to watch her put them on, for the longest time she didn't understand how to get the necklace over her head, so she stuck it under her chin and kept her chin down trying so hard to keep it on, now she's got it down. She holds her hand up in the air when she wears a bracelet and gets so frustrated when it falls off. She has this adorable little Minnie Mouse back pack that she insists on wearing all day, so cute. Also, her outfit is not complete without a "pre-pre-pre" in her hair. I'll get her all dressed up and say, "Oh, Brielle you look so pretty!" and she'll start patting her hair and -whispering- "pre-pre-pre" (seriously, she'll only say "pre-pre-pre" in a whisper).

It's so weird to think that I have this little girl who walks and talks (in her own little language) and is learning and changing and growing right before my eyes. I feel so incredibly blessed to be her mommy.

Tuesday's Top Ten [What I Love about being a Mom!]

I know this list will change as Brielle grows up and more kids come into the picture, but I saw this idea on Pinterest (of course, where else do you get ideas?!) and figured that by writing them down, I won't forget. When those tough days come, I don't want to forget how much I love her. When she hits that "I don't need mommy anymore" age, I don't want to forget how I feel about being a mommy at this moment. When she starts becoming more independent and having that desire to move out and be on her own, I don't want to forget what I love about being a mommy. So even though I've only been a mommy for almost a year now, I think this is something I should keep adding on to as the years of being a mommy continue, grow, develop and change.

What I love about being a mommy...

1. Watching her face light up as she discovers something new and exciting.

2. Getting her to giggle (especially to the point where her chubby little belly jiggles).

3. Her huge smile every single time I praise her by clapping and singing, "Yay, Brielle!"

4. Playing. Being a mom means you have an excuse to get out your old toys and be a kid again. I can't wait for Lego's and doll houses and crafting. Right now I'm loving building towers and giggling along with her after she destroys them, or throw toys in and out of a basket (who knew that'd be fun?!) or pushing her up and down the driveway as she sits on a toy train.

5. When she's tired, or sick, or cranky mommy is the only person she wants. Mommy's will forever have this ability to make things all better - even when you're 30.

6. Kisses and Aw, Aw, Aw's. When daddy comes home he gives me a kiss. Brielle then wants to give us kisses too, it melts my heart. When she loves something she hugs it and says, "aw, aw, aw" as she gently pats it. I get those too and my heart is reduced to a puddle on the floor.

7. Reading to her. She just sits on my lap, pointing at things she likes, giggling, talking, bouncing as I read each page. I love those moments.

8. Bath time. It's always after supper (when she's an absolute mess) and she can hardly contain her excitement after I grab her towel, walk to the bath, get the bath water running... she loves playing in the water and I love that she loves it.

9. "Daddy's HOME!" Those words alone send her in a tizzy. When daddy walks through the door her excitement is contagious. I'm happy, the dogs are excited - the home atmosphere is that much better and life is complete for my little Briella Bean. Everyone's where they need to be. It is more than evident how much she loves her daddy.

10. I'm learning to love the little things, over and over again. She points at everything, wanting to know what it is, to touch it, or put it in her mouth. For example it doesn't matter how many times she sees the Minnie Mouse wreath her great grandma made her, when she wakes up it's the first thing she points at and laughs as she touches Minnie's nose. I love that wreath because she loves it.  I love the flowers, and leaves, and trees, because she points and giggles and the wonder in her eyes makes me appreciate them all over again.

Being a mommy is joyful, and scary, and beautiful, and difficult all at once. There's not a better job out there. I never knew that I'd love being a mommy. God knows best because when I doubted whether or not I wanted to be a mommy, he gave me an incredible blessing that shows me daily the true meaning of unconditional love.

A Shout Out to My Dad

With this last weekend being Father's Day I want to give a SHOUT OUT to my dad. He's a pretty incredible individual and let me tell you a few reasons why...

1. He loves the Lord and will tell us about the saving grace of Christ daily, and you too if you met him!
2. Not a day has passed in all my years of life that my dad hasn't told me he loves me. The moment I'd walk out the door growing up I'd hear my dad yell across the room, "I love you Becky!" He'd whisper it in my ear or give long hugs that let me know how much he loved me. He'd always tell his kids that he understood the love God must have for His children because of the love he has for us, and that love, he'd say, is immeasurable.
3. My dad taught us the value of hard work. He modeled it in his own life and expected it from us.
4. He also taught us the value of the simple things in life, like a meal around the table (with lots of laughter, of course) and time around a campfire gorging ourselves in smores.
5. He is smart! He was a pastor, the chief firefighter in Arkansas, a first responder, a computer/technology guru (he owns his own business repairing computers and installing wireless internet service), and I think I'd run out of room if I listed everything he has done or can do. (Seriously.)
6. I've watched him endure some of the hardest things a person can go through and he came out of each event a better man concreted in his faith and hope in Jesus Christ.
7. Whenever there was a tragedy my dad was the first one I went to because he knew just what to say and how to inspire those around him. The funerals he lead were some of the most God glorifying, hopeful events I've ever attended. I was so proud to know him when I saw him handle the death of my friend Brian Pancau with gentleness, respect, and compassion, not only to Brian's family, but to his friends as well. He briefly spoke at the Middle Park 2002 graduation encouraging Brian's fellow graduates to celebrate their accomplishments, and that there is hope in the salvation of Jesus Christ. (Brian passed away in a car accident on his way to his graduation practice the day before he graduated from Middle Park High School in 2002.) When I found out the news that Brian had passed, my dad was the first person I called.
8. He loves his grandchildren. Lots. He is their Poppy. The way I see him with them, makes me love him that much more. "Beware" if you see him at a restaurant with his grandbabies, he will walk right up to your table just to show them off. I love it.
9. He is generous. Even if he had nothing, he'd do whatever he could to give us everything we needed and then some.
10. He is encouraging. I don't remember being ridiculed for my grades or my performance in sports (for example). He would always say something like, "Why don't you try this next time?" or "Have you thought of doing this?" or "I'm so proud of you!" or "Don't give up! Keep working hard!" and especially, "No matter what, I will always love you."

And that love he shows day in and day out, well, I can't think of a better place to end.

His growing family. This was when we added Hunter. (Haha, I say "we" but Mel did all the work.)

Dad, Kyle, Matt (the men in my life)

Kyle & Me, Matt & Sam (Matthew & Alexi), Justin and Mel (Gary & Hunter)

Celebrating Dad's 50th at a Rockies Game!

Poppy with Briella Bean

When he gave me away, he had the sweetest speech, it made me bawl like a baby.

Poppy with his Alexi, probably telling her how pretty she is!

Hiking up Adams Falls in 2012. Poppy, me (prego with Brielle), Justin (with Hunter), Mel, Kyle (Gary is hidden behind him), Mandy & David

I could not find a recent picture with him and all four of his kids (spouses and grandchildren included). We are getting together this summer, so that will have to change! (Especially with all the new additions!)