The Privilege & Price of Motherhood

I'm reading this amazing book with two other women at church. The first chapter - oh my - good. BUT the chapter that made the entire book for me was the chapter on motherhood. I can't speak for the women I'm reading it with, but I believe they'd agree with me in recommending it for ALL women (married, single, children or without):

The part I liked the most so far (not because it was necessarily enjoyable) but it was the most convicting: The Privilege of Motherhood and The Price of Motherhood. I'd like to quote the entire section (it's seriously that good), obviously I recommend getting the book, but before I give more highlights from these two sections read this amazing quote:

Jani is dead on in her description of biblical motherhood and in my short few months at this job I fall short on a daily basis. She talks about self denial constantly and it's one piece of my life that must change. Also, she went to the heart of the matter when talking about giving up dreams. I struggle with that daily. I want to be home with my baby and I want to be in the classroom. (Ahhhhh so conflicting!) I find her writing so encouraging because it reinforces what I know deep down: that this is where God is calling me. That is why I like these two sections so much, because it brings to light aspects in which need work in my life and offers encouragement in order to be the mommy she describes: "In us [our children] experience what the world should be like." I love that.

Portions of the book I couldn't help but share...

The Privilege of Motherhood (p.112-113)

God is calling us women to embrace the privilege of maternal care. We will not hear this from the culture of convenience surrounding us. A woman is much more likely to be praised for her work in the marketplace than for her commitment to mothering. And if mothering is not honored, women will stop doing it. Today if a baby seems to be too great a burden, either financially or physically or emotionally, a woman may kill it in what should be the safest place this side of heaven, a mother's womb. Or, once it is born, she may throw it in the trash bin so she can get on with the important things in life - like attending the prom or satisfying her pubescent boyfriend.

Where are the women who will fearlessly surrender to the privilege of motherhood? Who will say, "My child's welfare is more important than my own convenience; I will give my child a sense of God; I will protect my child from evil and death; I will set the highest possible standards of honor and morality for my child to follow as I teach him the Bible, and one day I will send him out with a light in his soul to bless this darkened world?" What greater privilege could we have?

Your role in a child's life - whether it is your child or others around you - is invaluable. You can be the one to teach him to form intimate, emotional bonds with others. Your sensitivity, availability, devotion, affection, unhurried attention, and responsiveness are irreplaceable. You have the joy of creating an environment for discovery and growth and imagination. You have the privilege of training your child to resist the me-centered consumerism that engulfs our world today.

The Price of Motherhood (quotes taken from pages 113-126)

Second, will you pay the price of mothering? In Where Have All the Mothers Gone? Brenda Hunter cites numerous studies showing that every child needs someone to make an "irrational" commitment to him; someone who will be there when she is needed; someone who will not pack up and go home at 6:00 p.m. Additionally, this someone must love the child more than other people's children. Who can do this better than a child's own mother? Yet we hear the chorus swelling around us, "The care of children and home are inferior occupations. The marketplace is more rewarding. Find your worth there."

And so we face a decision. Don't let me heap guilt on your head if you must work outside your home will your children are young. I have been there, and I know how hard it is. I am writing about a decision that a working mom makes who has a choice to cut back and stay home with her children. Are we willing to give up the pluses of the working world for diapers, doctor appointments, feeding schedules, and hurried showers? We enjoy the affirmations of working outside the home - a paycheck, pats on the back, exciting challenges, and new relationships - and yet we know that our home life suffers all the while. We begin to realize that all the tangible successes in the marketplace can never mask the potent pull of mother love. But are we women enough to yield to this powerful force?

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My friend Suzanne proves how much our children deserve our best. Suzanne is a creative, energetic, compassionate young woman who developed a sterling reputation as a student teacher and teacher's aide in a Chicago district where positions are highly coveted. She became a personal friend when she discipled our daughter, Krista, during Krista's high school years.

When Suzanne and her husband, Scott, had their first baby, they made the hard decision to have Suzanne leave the marketplace to mother full-time. What is the result? Five-year-old Tyler is an obedient, confident, bright boy - a joy to be around. And three-year-old Krista (our daughters namesake), is a secure, impishly tenacious, totally irresistible little girl. Both Tyler and Krista have strong wills and required hard work, patience, and untold sacrifices on the part of their parents. But if you could spend an afternoon with these little ones, as my family loves to do, you would see the imprint of their mother on them, and you would delight in it. Has it been easy? Definitely not. Suzanne has felt depleted, isolated, and financially strapped at times. But to her the price has been worth it. She could never replace those years with her babies, nor would she want to. How much value would any other success hold if she failed as a mother?

Someone is going to be influencing your child during those formative preschool years. Someone is going to be inculcating values and imprinting standards on that impressionable young soul. Let it be you. 

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God's purpose for us as His daughters is not freedom from the difficulties of life. His goal is to make us like Christ, and through us, to mark our children with His beauty.

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When we're struggling with the demands and responsibilities of motherhood, our deepest problem is not necessarily an insensitive husband, cranky kids, or a tight budget. Our deepest problem is our own resistance to total selflessness. It costs to serve. It's tiring and dirty and inglorious.

Are you struggling with your role as a mother-servant in your home? Are you resenting your kids? Are you fearful that life might slip through your fingers? Recognize your feelings for what they are: self-centered and unfaithful toward the God who called you to mother.

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The highlighted phrases spoke to the core of who I am as a teacher, mother and wife. I need to read that every day, that my deepest problem is my own resistance to selflessness. My feelings are self-centered and unfaithful toward the God who called me to mother. I have to let it go and like Suzanne there are days, moments, points in time that I feel depleted, isolated, and financially strapped (I know I'm not alone). But I will reiterate Suzanne's ultimate feelings: the price has been worth it and I would never, not in a million years replace what I have with my Briella Bean. There is more value in God's eyes to be full time mother than a teacher. I have to constantly remind myself that. Constantly.

Tuesday's Top Ten Plus Ten [Children's Books!]

I am pairing up with my friend MelanyCat this week (and for many topics to come) on Tuesday's Top Ten list! Melany is a new blogger, 15 years old, the daughter of a really good friend, who has many amazing things to say. I would definitely listen. Melany is one of those girls you want your own daughter to emulate (mothers in our church are seeing potential discipleship relationships galore, we all love her). I had the privilege to teach her for 2 years before she decided to be homeschooled (yes, she made that decision). She's brilliant, beautiful, talented and am so excited she took me up on this challenge to write with me on Tuesdays. 

Once you check out my list, don't forget to hop on over to Melany's.  

This week we started with children's books. I was that teacher who read children's books to my junior highers. If I ever become a teacher to high schoolers, yuP, I'll be reading children's books to them as well. I heard (often) "B-b-b-but Mrs. Lowery! We're not kids!" My reply, "I am -- years old and there's still a lot of child left in me. Do not give up the heart of a child. Wanting to be "all grown up" forces you to lose that childish imagination, those childish whims, adventures, and innocence. Those are things to keep and those are themes found throughout children's books!" For that reason children's books will always be recommended as a good read! It's the first place I go in a thrift store and the children's book section is where I make a beeline if I ever go to Barnes and Noble. Every person at any age can (ahem should) enjoy children's books. Children's books speak to the soul. I enjoy them more so as an adult than I ever did as a child. Here's a few of my favorites (in no particular order):

1.

The Wimmecks Series by Max Lucado 

I cannot get through You are Special without crying, it's a beautiful story! Max Lucado has this amazing way of writing to children, explaining the gospel message in touching way. Making it easy to turn around and relate it to their own life.

2. 

Faithful Elephants by Yukio Tsuchiya is based on a true story and is so, so, so, so sad. I had a male professor read this book to us when I was in completing my masters and he cried. Grab a box of Kleenex's, seriously. 

3. 

The Princess Kiss by Jennie Bishop 

This is a must read if you have a little girl. It's a beautiful story about saving your kiss for your prince.

4. 

The Empty Pot by Demi is an incredible story on the value of honesty. 

5. 

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein 

Is it normal to cry while reading this one? 

6. 
Ghastlies, Goops, & Pincushions by X.J. Kennedy 
I can't believe this myself, but I actually found this in a discard pile! (GASP!) If you want to read a hilarious book filled with nonsense poetry, you must nab it. Check out my review to find out all the reasons why.

7.
Eletelephony by Laura Richards is this delightfully short, cute book about an elephant using the phone but gets all sorts of tongue tied. This is actually a song, but it's an adorable one. If you find the book (I found mine at a dollar store), don't leave without it!

8. 

Count Yourself to Sleep by Lynn Hodges & Sue Buchanan is a wonderful book about what to do before you go to sleep at night: give thanks to God for all that He has given you. After reading this book, I realized the practical advice was needed in my very own life. (Children's books do that to ya...)

9. 
The Real Mother Goose by Blanche Fisher Wright is a must read for all ages. It's filled with those old nursery rhymes all children should grow up knowing. PLUS, I used to dress up as mother goose as a child and read to everyone (glasses and all). The first thing I did when I officially moved out of mom and dad's house, was pack this book.

10. 

Brian Cleary wrote an entire set: What is an Adjective? What is an Adverb? What is a Preposition? What is a Pronoun? What is a Conjunction? What are Similes and Metaphors? What is a Synonym? What are Homonyms and Homophones? What is an Antonym? and etc. etc. etc. I only have 4, the rest are on my wish list (there's a lot of books on my wish list... sigh...). He has a clever way of teaching grammar. These stories are so.much.fun. and a great way to teach your students and kids about parts of speech, especially if they're struggling with understanding it. English isn't easy, but these books make it fun!

Of course, this is a wonderful list and others could've been added (like Goodnight Moon, The Red Hen, or "Uh-Oh!" Said the Crow or Oh, The Places You'll Go) but those are recommended by everyone because everyone has them. I love those books as well and here's 10 more I think you should add to your "must have on your shelf" list. Now, hope on over to Melany's blog and see what she recommends!

"The Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis [Book Review]

The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Many reviews of this book describe it as diabolical, satire in it's fullest form, or inaccurate. C.S. Lewis himself said the Letters received "... a reception I had never dreamed of. Reviews were either laudatory or filled with that sort of anger which tells an author that he has hit his target..." (I seriously giggled when I read that.) So, when I read 'Screwtape letters' I read it with the understanding that it is purely fictional and took into account Lewis' description of the book as "myth" or "symbolic" ... in fact he writes in his preface that the purpose of the book is to "... throw light from a new angle on the life of men." (Did he ever do that for me!) Who would've thought that letters written from demon to demon describing in full detail how to drive a human to Hell would be effective in shedding light on the lives of men? C.S. Lewis, of course. (That was meant as a compliment.)

Although the story line itself is fictional, it is filled with "hidden" truths. One of my favorite truths is this line: "It does not matter how small the sins are, provided that their cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and into the Nothing. Murder is no better than cards if cards can do the trick. Indeed, the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts." (p.38-39)

By fictional I mean the characters Screwtape, Wormwood, Principle Slubgob and the like. I believe in demons, and I believe that Satan (the worst of his kind) is the king of lies. This story, although genius, is fiction. The ideas and principles found throughout, however, (I believe) are not too far fetched. I truly believe demons believe God is the enemy and I do believe they whisper lies in order to turn you from Him. I like how C.S. Lewis himself describes these characters in his author's preface: "The commonest question is whether I really "believe in the Devil. Now if by "the Devil" you mean a power opposite to God, and like God, self-existent from all eternity, the answer is certainly No. There is no uncreated being except God.God has no opposite. No being could attain a "perfect badness" opposite to the perfect goodness of God; for when you have taken away every kind of good thing (intelligence, will, memory, energy, and existence itself) there would be none of him left. The proper question is whether I believe in devils. I do. That is to say, I believe in angels, and I believe that some of these, by the abuse of their free will, have become enemies to God and, as a corollary, to us. These we may call devils. They do not differ in nature from good angels, but their nature is depraved. Devil is the opposite of angel only as Bad Man is the opposite of Good Man. Satan, the leader or dictator of devils, is the opposite, not of God, but of Michael."

After reading the book, I HIGHLY recommend you go back and read the author's preface, because it will shed more light on the ending and reveal why C.S. Lewis wrote what he wrote. I won't go into detail about that -- I don't want to spoil it -- but there's one final quote I have to share. It's one that everyone needs to understand before reading this book, "Some have paid me an undeserved compliment by supposing that my Letters were the ripe fruit of many years' study in moral and ascetic theology. They forgot that there is an equally reliable, though less creditable, way of learning how temptation works. "My heart" - I need no other's - "showeth me the wickedness of the ungodly." I became a C.S. Lewis fan just because of that one statement, more so than the entire book itself. Thank you C.S. Lewis for being transparent and accomplishing what you set out to do: throw light on the life of men.

View all my reviews

"The safest road to Hell is..." (C.S. Lewis)

Let me begin by saying C.S. Lewis is a genius. One of my friends gave me the book Screwtape Letters and I would not be exaggerating when I say this is going on my "Top Ten" list if C.S. Lewis keeps opening my eyes to truths like this one stated on pages 38-39,

"You no longer need a good book, which he really likes, to keep him from his prayers or his work or his sleep; a column of advertisements in yesterday's paper will do. You can make him waste his time not only in conversation he enjoys with people whom h elides but also in conversations with those he cares nothing about, on subjects that bore him. You can make him do nothing at all for long periods. You can keep him up late at night, not roistering, but staring at a dead fire in a cold room."

Before I quote the best part of this particular letter, let me give you some background knowledge. C.S. Lewis wrote this fantastically, horrific, mind-boggling book about demons conversing through letters. The main character, Screwtape, is writing letters to his nephew, giving him advice on how to lead his "patient" to hell, away from the Enemy (the Enemy being Jesus Christ). The above quote was such advice. The advice is significant because we should constantly be looking upwards, spending time in prayer, worship, learning about Him through His Word, but the king of lies (Satan) does everything he can to keep us from what's important. How C.S. Lewis explains this process (through a letter from a fictional demon named Screwtape) in this next quote blew.me.away:

"You will say that these are small sins; and doubtless, like all young tempters, you are anxious to be able to report spectacular wickedness. But do remember, the only thing that matters is the extent to which you separate the man from the Enemy. It does not matter how small the sins are, provided that their cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and out into the Nothing. Murder is no better than cards if cards can do the trick. Indeed, the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts."

2013: A Few BecKyle Highlights!

After spending a couple hours looking back at this year, I feel so blessed with all that God has given us and with how much I have grown in Him. I am not the same person I was a year ago -- my mission is to know Him and to make Him known -- and the more I know Him, the more I change as a result. I'm excited to see what 2014 has in store!

January 2013: Brielle was a whole 4 months old and Marley decided Quigley could stay.

February 2013: This month marked 6 years for Kyle and I!

2007

2013

March 2013: Bean turned 6 months old!

April 2013: Brielle got her first tooth and she went swimming for the first time (she did not enjoy it).

May 2013: We had a family snow day on May Day, celebrated my mom's 50th birthday in Glenwood Springs, CO, and I got spoiled on my first Mother's Day!

June 2013: We enjoyed a dinner theatre production by the community theatre group and won free tickets to their next production! We celebrated Kyle's mom's 50th birthday with a wonderfully relaxing time at their house, enjoying a day in the pool.

A highlight of the year was welcoming little Braylon into our family!

July 2013: We spent the majority of this month praying for my little nephew Braylon who spent quite a bit of time in the hospital with a high fever. We thank God every day that He answered our prayers! I spent a week in Colorado helping my brother and his wife and enjoyed the visit from my sister Mandy and her hubby David. 

My mom scored free VIP tickets to Kool and the Gang and we had a blast! To top of a crazy month Kyle and I celebrated our four year wedding anniversary.

August 2013: Kyle and I enjoyed our first of twelve date nights at the Hiway 92 Raceway. 

September 2013: Our baby Briella Bean turned 1 and the night before her birthday, she took her first steps, she's been walking (ahem, running) ever since! We shared a birthday party with one very special friend.

October 2013: We took Brielle to a pumpkin patch with Kyle's family and she loved every minute of it! 

It was the month that closed off a summer full of showers, showers, and more showers: A Giraffe and a Half Baby Shower. October was also the month I finished the book A Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent -- it left such an impact on my life that it's one I will always keep close at hand. I went with a friend to a small zoo and Brielle loved the experience, we will definitely visit it again. For Halloween Brielle dressed up as a Love Bug and Minnie Mouse, she was absolutely adorable in her little costumes!

November 2013: My 29th birthday. Ah... my last year in the 20's... besides that, Kyle spoiled the heck out of me by taking me shopping. I came home with new slippers and black boots, this girl was on cloud nine! Another highlight of the year: The day before Thanksgiving my sister Mandy and her hubby added little Abigail into our family! We were so excited! Bean got the chicken pox, poor girl! This was also the month I began a head to head battle with an ugly green monster.

December 2013: And this was the month I was finally able to truly give it to Him and whole heartedly trust in His sovereign plan, which began a new, exciting direction in this blog: encouraging other mommy's by sharing birth stories. December was crazy between more sickness, scary moments (like my sister-in-law and my nephew were in a car accident) and answered prayers, Abigail being admitted into the hospital for a high fever and answered prayers. Despite some hard moments of learning to trust in God, December offered priceless moments with our daughter as we decorated for Christmas day, or watched her thrive from the attention of her family -- grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, or enjoyed the laughter and joy she brings daily.... 

These highlights alone give reason to praise God with all my heart! Thank you Lord for this year and all the years to come....

From our family to yours, HAPPY NEW YEAR!