This was a decision my husband and I made the first year of our marriage. That year didn't bear much good fruit, but this decision is actually one we will stick with for the entirety of our lifetime together. That period of our life seems like a lifetime ago already. It was the beginning of our walk as Christians. Since then, we've made a lot of mistakes and learned a great deal. I do not like thinking about myself back then - arrogant, combative, worrywart, emotionally impulsive, easily enraged - but thanks be to God who continually works on my heart - teaching, changing, humbling, and encouraging me through this decade with my husband! And I know it had nothing to do (and quite a bit to do) with the amount of television we watched...
1. Too much television bears little fruit for Christ. If all I do in my day is sit my butt down in front of a television show, what am I doing for the advancement of the gospel? How am I being the hands and feet of Christ? I am not saying that watching television occasionally is a bad thing, I'm not even saying that a restful day in front of the television is terrible, but if that is all I do day in and day out, it is wasteful.
2. I find that the more time I spend watching TV I see the woman I once was. Our world encourages arrogance, concealing it as self-love. Our world cheers on the combative (just watch shows like The View or Judge Judy). Our world worries about anything and everything (just watch the news); we are an anxious people! Our world let's their emotions control them rather than being in control of their emotions; we immediately react rather than patiently thinking about it first (just watch dramatic sitcoms). Our world is easily enraged (you can easily see that in reality television or political debates). The television is a place that encourages behavior that once held me captive.
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind..." Romans 12:2
The more I know about an abundance of television, the less likely your mind is renewed in Christ and the more likely it will become conformed to this world. Which leads perfectly into the next point...
3. It is a mindless activity. Watching television requires little to no imagination and we definitely do not want to encourage our children to spend hours doing something mindless, that is one major reason why they will not have one in their room. JAMA Psychiatry published research that proved that young adults who watch too much television had lower cognitive function than those who did not watch too much television. It was a 25 year study where researchers monitored 3,000+ people between 18 and 30 years of age. Their research concluded that an early couch potato lifestyle actually impairs brain activity. High television activity resulted in poor performance on three different cognitive tests! (source)
Be mindful of Jesus.
4. It is not an active pastime. When you watch, you sit on your tush with minimal physical change - you expend very little energy. Our bodies were made for movement, exercise, imagination, dancing, climbing, learning, exploring. How much of that can you accomplish on a recliner while staring at the TV? USA Today published an article with a claim that watching too much television is directly related to an increase in diabetes and heart disease. Researchers studied more than 13,000 individuals over an 8 year time span to determine whether there was a correlation between sedentary lifestyles and death. Turns out that individuals who spent three or more hours a day in front of the television had a higher risk of early death than those who watched less. Why? A cardiologist said that television watching is a passive lifestyle. Those who spend more time watching spend less time paying attention to diet and exercise. This study proved that diabetes and heart disease were associated with a sedentary lifestyle (too much television was the major culprit). (source)
5. It's too easy to turn on and get sucked in without even realizing it. When it's in one location (ours is in the basement family room) then it's less likely to be turned on and left on. Most importantly, it's less likely to become an addiction.
6. It does not encourage much interaction. If you're in front of the television 3 or more hours a day, how much conversation do you have with others?
7. BUT when it is on, that's where everyone is located, so making it a rarity does encourage interaction. What I mean by this is that we are purposeful in what we watch. My husband likes the survival shows and we watch them occasionally. We also watch football and we hysterically giggle over Parks and Rec. What we do watch (which is less than 5 hours a week) helps us relax, laugh over something together, chat about something new... And when football season or March Madness is on, it's then we have friends and family gathered around eating lots of good food, cheering, and enjoying each other. There are some great memories gathered around the TV when you're purposeful about what you watch and when you watch and who you watch it with and why.
8. Television is not the place to go to fulfill our job as parents. Our biblical job is quite clear: raise up children in the knowledge of the Lord. To resort to television as a source of upbringing is disobedient to this calling. That doesn't mean I haven't learned anything about parenting by watching Daniel the Tiger with my children (seriously) but watching this show (no matter how valuable) will not teach my children about Jesus.
9. Television is not a necessity to living and I do not want to give our children any other impression. It is a luxury. Sunday night is our family movie and pizza night. The girls love it. I do believe that it was left on all the time it would become less of a luxury, which is just what it is. It is a treat, a frill, a symbol of high living and wealth. If you have one with the means to afford movies, football, Netflix, &etc. consider yourself blessed.
10. We do not want it to be the center of our home. We do not arrange our main living room around the television. Our main living room is conducive to conversation, games, reading, comfort, and play. The center of our home is Jesus Christ and if the television is on all the time, I do believe it will take away from Him. Anything that does that, must go.
God began a work in me back in April when I expressed my frustration to a woman with whom I disciple. My problem was that every time it came time to pick up it was a battle. The girls were masters at emptying every tub and then being so overwhelmed with the mess that they would not play. And then when it came time to pick up... it was the worst time of day. I began to realize that the majority of my day was doing a general pick up of our stuff!
Not only that but my closet was overflowing. I dreaded putting my clothing away because the containers I had were stuffed and overflowing. I struggled picking an outfit because I had too much to pick from; I knew that I was wasting a lot of time doing this daily.
Also, our storage room disaster was embarrassing and I hated going into our overstuffed laundry room to attempt laundry each week.
I was over it and didn't understand why.
She encouraged me to check out YouTube videos on minimalism. She told me that I'd find them motivating. When I listened to this TED Talk on minimalism I was beyond ready to solve this problem I had.
This began a crazy minimalism search and what I found astounded me. I read this blog post: How Minimalism is Biblical. I read "The Joy of Less" by Francine Jay. The more I read, the more I began to create a minimalist mindset because it dawned on me, thanks to the wisdom of these people, that I was was not living a deliberate, meaningful life.
It was time to define what it meant to live a God-centered, deliberate, meaningful life.
It's been a six month journey that is far from over. And this journey has changed my perspective in so many incredible ways.
I didn't realize how much my stuff, my piles and piles of stuff, was keeping me from quality time with my husband and girls. It was keeping me from enjoying the day to day moments. My stuff was overwhelming me. Most importantly, I was storing up treasures on earth, I found myself thinking that the value of life was found in what or how much I owned, I found that if it came down to it I would struggle giving it away to someone who was in need of it. My treasure was in things.
Then three months into this journey one of my dearest friends passed away. She left behind a husband, 3 beautiful children, and a home full of decor she created to point to the "things" she valued most in life. It was full of Bible verses (like everywhere you look), it was full of pictures of her loved one's and the memories she made with them; her home reflected what she valued: God, husband, children, friends and family. And above her kitchen sink was one word: SIMPLIFY.
As my sister and I cleaned the home she left behind so her husband and children could come home to rest after the longest 2 weeks of their life, we marveled at what she left behind. It suddenly dawned on me why this journey of minimalism was so important: she could take none of this stuff with her and she is now in the only place every Christian should want to be - in the presence of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. She is at peace. She is experiencing joy in His presence. True, unending joy.
That is what I want and that is what I pursue: life in Christ.
As I aspire to become a minimalist and purge the things from my life that keep me from that pursuit, the reasons for this minimalist journey become more and more clear....
1. It's Biblical. It's true that God gives and He takes away (Job 1:21) and also that everything belongs to Him (1 Chronicles 29:14) so we know that our wealth and all that we own is from His hand. On the other hand, we must consider what God says about treasure. One of my favorites begins in Matthew 6:19,
"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
The things we have here on earth will be destroyed. We must have the right mindset about these things and the purpose they serve. Is it wrong to own a lot of things? If I stay in context of this portion of Scripture, my immediate answer is no. However, if you treasure those possessions more than you treasure God, then you have a problem. I was finding that my stuff was taking priority over my purpose in life (see #4) and it was then that I knew it had to go. And everything I've ever had to let go of has claw marks on it. Still, I am incredibly thankful for this process of setting Jesus Christ as my ultimate treasure. He is my one gain. An eternity with Him is my hope, my encouragement. I found that the value of my life was not found in what I owned,
"Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." Luke 12:15
My wealth is in God's kingdom and my life consists in the abundance of grace and mercy and promises and encouragement and wisdom found only in Christ Jesus. When I am satisfied in Him, I am better able to,
"Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no their approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Luke 12:33-34
"But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction." 1 Timothy 6:6-9
The more time I spend reading my Bible the more I realize that if anything in this world becomes more important than Jesus and the purpose He put in my life, then it has to go.
2. My husband has always been a minimalist. He always seemed frustrated when I brought stuff home. I didn't understand why until undertaking this journey. Now that we are on the same page, he just keeps saying that it's easier. Taking this on with his full support has been a huge encouragement, but also necessary because I didn't realize how my selfish lifestyle was affecting him. This is one way to bless him. I thank him quite a bit for his patience with me as I filled our home with unnecessary items, overwhelming him and (unknowingly) myself. And although the money I spent was at a thrift store or the clearance rack, the dollar here and there added up rather quickly and was keeping him from his goal. As I gathered items purchased in the 8 years of our marriage I became ashamed of how much money I spent on worthless stuff. Even though I bought it for a killer price, there was no need for it. Kyle understood that. I am so sorry that it took me this long to realize this fact.
3. Overstuffed = Overwhelmed. My day-to-day life was overwhelming. Putting stuff away in an attempt to keep the house clean was hard work. Stuff was making it harder than it needed to be. My mantra is now: if it doesn't all fit in the container dedicated to it, then rid yourself of the extras. For example, there was no reason to own 3 red tank tops. They were each different for reasons I liked, but I finally picked a favorite and most versatile, then donated the rest. I owned 20+ t-shirts! All of my t-shirts barely fit in a drawer! Now I have my workout clothes, t-shirts, and pajamas all in one drawer. Six months ago I had a tub for each of those "categories" (insert eye-rolling emoji here). In our kitchen I had more coffee cups than I ever used (even with company). They had to be stacked to fit into the cupboard. We owned two sets of wine glasses. (Why???) When it came down to it, these overstuffed places were overwhelming. Also, most of what we owned, we never used.
4. Stuff was keeping me from focusing on my purpose in life. This is my purpose statement:
"I, Rebecca, am first and foremost a servant of Jesus Christ because of my faith in the work He accomplished on the cross - in His death, burial, and resurrection. He has called me to be a loving, respectful and submissive wife to Kyle. A loving and kind mother to Brielle and Eleanna who raises them in the knowledge of Christ. I am a disciple and a disciple maker. Lastly, I am a reading and writing teacher."
If anything is outside of what I believe God is calling me to do, it's gone. I let too much get in the way of my God-given calling. It was past time to say "no" to everything else as I found the joy in pursuing a God-centered, deliberate, meaningful life.
5. I am unencumbered by things I do not use. (Everything has a purpose.) Kyle has always said this, I want everything to have a purpose. And I did not understand fully what he meant until pursuing this lifestyle. If it doesn't serve a purpose, if it is never used, then do not become encumbered by it. As I donated boxes I found freedom in letting it all go, and I also marveled at the fact that I could not remember what was in them. I haven't kept a perfect count, but my goal was 40 boxes or trash bags by next April; I'm already at 31. I am enjoying the fact that I am not burdened by things as they become less and less. I find more joy in time with God knowing that my home is not distracting me. I find more joy in blessing my husband and helping him through my day. I find more joy in the time I have for the girls. Pick-up time is less stressful. Everything has a purpose, down to what is on the wall for us to look at every day. If there is no purpose or joy in it - I find that I do not want it because I find it cramps my purpose in life. It's a load I do not want to bear, nor should bear.
6. Spending less and more intentional spending. One of my favorite pastimes is grabbing a coffee and searching for treasure at a thrift store. I still enjoy uncovering lovely items for a fraction of their original price. In the six months since this journey began, my only reason for going into these stores was to donate much of what I probably purchased in places like that. The last time I visited I gathered an item here or there and found a purpose for it immediately - or I simply enjoyed looking at it. The one unnecessary item I purchased (a cute green hat) I bought for $1 and knew immediately which hat it would replace (my goal is to not add to what I already own). If I cannot do either one of those things, I simply enjoy looking and appreciating it from afar. I was a bit worried about going in, wondering if I would have self-control, and I felt prepared with the tools I had read about and the fixed mindset as a result, but I was super pleased that these strategies I set in place were actually put to use. I walked out of the store with two items, they both had a purpose, and I used the cash I had in my wallet (the limit I set for myself) rather than swiping the credit card.
7. Time. I found that dealing with the stuff in our home was actually keeping me from doing the things I wanted or needed to do. One example: there were times I spent 30 minutes finding an outfit in the morning, trying one on - not liking it - throwing it on the bed - making a mess to clean up later (more time), coming upstairs to dress the girls - digging through their mounds of clothes (making another mess for later), making breakfast (but not until I cleaned up the disaster of dishes from supper the night before), and before I knew it we were running late. Running late put me in a grumpy mood that was taken out on our girls. They were not getting the best of me. Hurrying here and there became our lifestyle. All because I spent too much time on things that do not matter in the long run. When I purged those things I did not like on me, picked my favorites, set in place a color scheme for my closet so that everything went with everything, I spent less time on an outfit and more time enjoying. I knew I liked it on me, so over-thinking about it was not an issue. After going through the girls closet and picking items we both loved, it was easier to dress them. Then cleaning up the mess of supper was easy to do before bed because there was less to clean. I realized that it was easier to live with less. The less I had, the more time I had to read my Bible, memorize verses, teach my children, read a book, write a blog post, enjoy my cup of coffee in the morning, workout, tackle the things my husband needed accomplished, spoil him in ways I neglected before... there is so much freedom in owning less! Less stuff = more time.
8. Spiders. Spiders love piles. On laundry day they come out of the woodwork. I swear that my piles of sorted clothes attract them from miles away. It's so grotesquely strange. The more stuff that was piled on the floor the more spiders and spider webs I found hidden behind or under them. As I rid myself of furniture and cleaned those spaces, I was amazed at all their hidden places. I hate spiders. They are creepy. The more I rid the home of stuff, the less opportunity they had to make a home of our home. Win. Win.
9. I finally came to terms with the fact that I am not an organized person. The more stuff I had, the more I became overwhelmed with my feeble attempts at organizing it all. I had a board on Pinterest dedicated to this task that I tried to tackle (which has now been deleted - WOOOHOOO!). In the process of becoming organized, I'd make a mess - which overwhelmed me - and when I felt overwhelmed I had the tendency to just stare at it, not knowing where to start. Most of the time I left it lay, not knowing what to do with it. IF I did finally get it organized then I lacked the discipline needed to keep it that way. Less stuff = less to try and organize.
10. I held too tightly to things that have no eternal value. I found that some items were packed away in memory boxes that I had completely forgotten about. When I attached a memory to something, I had more difficulty in ridding myself of it. But what good is it to me if it sits in a box?! Not everything was tossed, but if I could not fit it in one container - I joyfully reminisced and then joyfully let go of it. If the item gave me memories of things I'd rather forget, I trashed it - joyfully. Otherwise, I went to the suggestions of others to "keep" the memory attached to the item (i.e. taking a picture of it) and then rid myself of the item itself. The item does not make the memory special and ridding myself of the item does not take the memory away, the joy found in it, or the love for the people in it.
This journey is not over. I have a lot of things on my list yet to purge (i.e. crafting supplies, filing cabinet full of paperwork - and the pile of paperwork on top of it, Christmas decor, teaching stuff, &etc.) but I've come a looooong way. Most of what is sitting in my laundry room are those crafting supplies I have yet to tackle and piles of donation boxes. It is liberating to rid the house of those piles and put tally marks next to my 40 bag goal!
If you can relate to anything in my story, I encourage you to begin this pursuit. This is what helps me: Concepts that Help Me Live with Less SaveSave
