40 Day Challenge - Draw Closer to God & Your Hubby (Day 34: 20 More)

Day 34
Today you're adding to your list. Write another 20 reasons why you love your husband. Remember: this should force you to think of all the reasons why you love him, not the ways he makes it difficult to show love and respect. If you don't want the temptation to constantly bash on this man God gave you, transform your thoughts and change your heart. Start with writing all the reasons why he's worthy of your love and why he deserves your respect.

I'm forcing you to stretch your mind a tad...

If you just joined us I encourage you to start with day 1, there's a reason for the order...

• Day 1
• Day 2
• Day 3
• Day 4
• Day 5
• Day 6
• Day 7 
• Day 8
• Day 9
• Day 10
• Day 11
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• Day 31
• Day 32
• Day 33

40 Day Challenge - Draw Closer to God & Your Hubby (Day 33: 20 Reasons Why You Love Your Husband)

The last few days you were asked to read Song of Solomon with the directive to mimic Solomon's wife in enjoying, rejoicing in, and loving on your husband. I LOVE how my pastor's wife explained this book, "God didn't give husbands and wives the blessing of sex and throw it at us like a grenade, exploding in our face! He gave us Song of Solomon so we'd know what to do!" It's a descriptive love poem that goes into detail about oral sex, sex positions, sex, sex, sex... and it's beautiful and pure because it's in the marriage bed. Also, did you know this book was forbidden until a Jewish male turned 13? Just sayin'...

Day 33
If you're going to draw closer to God we must redirect our thoughts toward Him and His great attributes. We must transform our minds according to His Word. I believe in applying the same concept to our relationship with our spouse. In order to have renewed vigor in our marriage we must go back and transform our thoughts, actions, and heart. Step one is self-denial. The rest includes remaking that choice to love and honor your spouse daily, submitting to God's design for a woman, recognizing that if you want change - it starts with you, etc. etc.

Today you're making another list. This time write 20 reasons why you love your husband. This should force you to think of all the reasons why you love him, not the ways he makes it difficult to show love and respect. If you don't want the temptation to constantly bash on this man God gave you, transform your thoughts, change your heart. Start with writing all the reasons why he's worthy of your love and why he deserves your respect.

If you just joined us I encourage you to start with day 1, there's a reason for the order...

• Day 1
• Day 2
• Day 3
• Day 4
• Day 5
• Day 6
• Day 7 
• Day 8
• Day 9
• Day 10
• Day 11
• Day 12
• Day 13
• Day 14
• Day 15
• Day 16
• Day 17
• Day 18
• Day 19
• Day 20
• Day 21
• Day 22
• Day 23
• Day 24
• Day 25
• Day 26
• Day 27
• Day 28
• Day 29
• Day 30
• Day 31
• Day 32

40 Day Challenge - Draw Closer to God & Your Hubby (Day 32: Make Your Bedroom a Haven)

Read the last 4 chapters of Song of Solomon recognizing that your body is your husbands, just as his body is yours. Try to mimic Solomon's wife in praising, rejoicing, enjoying and giving everything to your husband. Don't forget the next part of this challenge: for 7 days you were challenged to enjoy your husband. I promise that once you focus on enjoying him, you will; and if sex wasn't part of your blessing list before, add it. 

Yes, I'm challenging you to have sex with your husband every day for the next 6 days. If you can't have sex,initiate something that shows this willingness in you: to unashamedly give yourself to him and enjoy him.

Also, if you're anything like me, our bedroom becomes a place to throw things and shut the door. It should instead be a haven. Make it that way...

If you just joined us I encourage you to start with day 1, there's a reason for the order...

• Day 1
• Day 2
• Day 3
• Day 4
• Day 5
• Day 6
• Day 7 
• Day 8
• Day 9
• Day 10
• Day 11
• Day 12
• Day 13
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• Day 31

40 Day Challenge - Draw Closer to God & Your Hubby (Day 31: Enjoy Your Husband)

I hope that your husband was one of your blessings. At the top of your list. In fact, I'm hoping that sex was on your list of blessings. Seriously.

Day 31
It's so important to consider your husband a God-given blessing. In fact, it's so important that it's the first thing Paul tells women to teach other women in Titus 2:4, "... train the young women to love their husbands..." To love your husband means to be fond of him, to respond to him, to enjoy him, to be in awe of him. Unashamedly. Unreservedly. Willingly. And with pleasure. 

Part of our "job" as wives is to give all of ourselves without reservation. That includes the bedroom, not just our heart, mind and life. I've briefly talked about this on day day 17 when I told you to stop being selfish and give of yourself freely. We're going to go into more detail about that today, because your husband should be a huge blessing to you, I'm going to show you why...

Sex is a blessing God has given husbands and wives to enjoy without shame. What you and your husband do to enjoy one another is private. It should be kept pure - between the two of you only. Your body is his and his body is yours. ENJOY IT. 

We spend so much time as Christians talking about purity, that we skip the next step of purity! Intimacy with your husband was intended by God and is therefore PURE. We must get over the idea that sex is either dirty or free. It is neither. It is not dirty and it should not be free. It is a beautiful gift we give to our spouse and it should be often. If you don't give it often you're opening the doors for temptation to find it elsewhere.

I can back that up with Scripture. "The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." (1 Corinthians 7:3-4)

Let's talk about a few of those pieces: 

• Conjugal? It is quite simply a word pertaining to the "relation" between a husband and a wife.
• Authority? Dominion. Authorization. It's definitely double sided - you have authority over your husbands bod, just as he does yours. Get over it and EMBRACE it. (Hehe!)

Song of Solomon is a wonderful book to read in relation to conjugal rights and the authority-over-the-body topic. I encourage you to read it with your husband (talk about opening the doors to intimacy). Song of Solomon is a love poem that begins with courtship and is filled with marital love. It is filled with euphemisms and word pictures to elegantly express the emotional and physical intimacy between Solomon and his bride. Why do you think God gave us this book? Mimic them!

You see sex is pure and beautiful between a husband and his wife. Still, in order to get over our "self-conscience" hump, admit there are a few things we may or may not be comfortable with... so I'm going to ask you... how far are you willing to go to enjoy your husband? 

As far as the blogger from The Forgiven Wife? As far as the wife of Solomon? Who praises her husband, rejoices in him, enjoys his body thoroughly, and gives her whole self to him? I agree with John MacArthur in that Song of Solomon isn't the Kama Sutra of the Bible, but it is a beautiful love story of a husband and a wife enjoying their conjugal rights. 

Here's today's task: Read the first 4 chapters of Song of Solomon recognizing that your body is your husbands, just as his body is yours. Try to mimic Solomon's wife in praising, rejoicing, enjoying and giving everything to your husband. Here's your next challenge: for the next 7 days of this challenge enjoy your husband. I promise that once you focus on enjoying him, you will; and if sex wasn't part of your blessing list before, add it. 

Yes, I'm challenging you to have sex with your husband every day for the next 7 days. If you can't have sex, initiate something that shows this willingness in you: to unashamedly give yourself to him and enjoy him.

If you just joined us I encourage you to start with day 1, there's a reason for the order...

• Day 1
• Day 2
• Day 3
• Day 4
• Day 5
• Day 6
• Day 7 
• Day 8
• Day 9
• Day 10
• Day 11
• Day 12
• Day 13
• Day 14
• Day 15
• Day 16
• Day 17
• Day 18
• Day 19
• Day 20
• Day 21
• Day 22
• Day 23
• Day 24
• Day 25
• Day 26
• Day 27
• Day 28
• Day 29
• Day 30

Tuesday's Top Ten [Pet Peeves]

I know you're going to find this hard to believe but I had a hard time coming up with 10 pet peeves! There are a few that immediately popped into my head, but after that I had to dig a little.  

1. Using a Bible verse out of context. Read the whole book from a GOD CENTERED perspective rather than a, "How does this apply to me?" perspective. I see verses like Jeremiah 29:11 and Phillipians 4:13 taken out of context all.the.time. Then I have to remember that I come from an amazing church who's pastor believes in the importance of teaching word for word, verse by verse, page by page, book by book from the Bible (while teaching author, audience, purpose, theme of each book) so that we can rightly handle it in our day to day lives. I'm beyond blessed in that aspect. Sooooo if you don't know the author, audience, purpose and historical context of a book, I'd hesitate using a verse to defend your argument or even apply it in your personal life. 

FACT: There are many incorrect interpretations of the Bible, but there is only one that matters. I want to know GOD'S purpose in revealing what He revealed and I don't want to fail, so I rely on the skills my pastor has taught me, teachers and authors I trust because we share sound doctrine found in SCRIPTURE, and the Holy Spirit to open my eyes to HIS Word.  

2. Bashing others/Gossiping. Whether it's on Facebook or privately to a friend, it's wrong. And then there's husband bashing... Do you know how degrading your Facebook post is to your husband, or how your bashing affects the way you treat him? This one selfish vomit can affect your marriage on so many levels because you publicly humiliated this man you vowed to love and honor all the days of your life. There is absolutely nothing honorable about a husband-bashing-Facebook-status. You may as well have gone on Good Morning America and announced to everyone how awful your husband is (who, by the way is a sinner - just like you) and that you take back your vow to love him in sickness and in health (aka, the good times and the bad times). He's your husband, for pete's sake, and for that reason alone he deserves respect. 

3. Simple Grammar/Spelling Errors. Even though I have an english/language arts degree and am certified to teach 7-12th graders, I do not consider myself an expert. I find SO MANY mistakes in my own writing that I can't be too critical. Sometimes it's the simplest rules that get me all confuzzled and are the easiest to forget. Despite my own stupidity I shamefully admit it's still a pet peeve... It wouldn't bother me so much if this little red squiggly line didn't show up under all my mistakes, so I know the same courtesy is extended to all computer users. Don't ignore it! It indicates a problem. Take the time to fix it. 

4. Stinkiness. I'm not talking about the I-just-worked-out or mowed-my-lawn or I-just-drank-a-cup-of-strong-coffee kinda stink, I'm talking about the I-haven't-showered-in-weeks-or-even-changed-my-underwear kinda stink. I've been around adults who smelled so awful that I gagged when I was within a 20 foot radius of them. There's been times it was so bad that the library reeked even after they left. I didn't realize, until I had my own classroom, that cleanliness was something that needed to be taught. The poor counselor had to teach more students than I can count how to take care of themselves. So one part of me wants to help these people and the other part of me wants to scream, do you seriously not care about how your filth affects everyone around you? (See #5.) Even if you only have one pair of underwear, wash it in the sink with a cheap bar of soap, hang it out to dry while you go commando for a few hours... and then wash your pants to let them dry overnight... even if you're in a poverty situation, there's cheap, cheap ways to deal with stink. For the sake of others, please, deal with your stink.

5. A complete disregard for those around you. It's pretty obvious if your world revolves around me, myself, and I. It's evident when you're driving, standing in line, waiting for something, how you treat your waitress, etc. etc. Selfishness is one of my biggest pet peeves, get over yourself, you're not that big of a deal, and be courteous to others. 

6. Christians giving other christians crappy advice like: just do what's best for you. Most of the time that puts me, myself, and I in that #1 slot. Today's idols are not cast in gold. Today's idols are flesh and blood and staring back at you when you look in the mirror. If you love yourself supremely, because you don't think anyone else can love you like you can, congratulations you just made yourself a god. PLUS, you're negating the very Word of God that states that Jesus loved you so much that while you were still a sinner, He died for you (John 15:12-13, Romans 5:8) there is no love like that, you cannot love yourself like that! If you're a Christian that is the worst possible advice you could give another Christian because it's completely against what God is telling you to do in Scripture. Jesus says that if you are to follow him, deny yourself and serve others. (Matthew 16:24, Mark 8:34, Mark 10:43, Luke 9:23) John the Baptist states, "He must increase, but I must decrease." (John 3:30) Over and over again, Paul advises us to love our enemies and pray for those who hurt us. There's SO MANY reasons why the advice, "honey, just love yourself..." or "just do what's best for you..." grinds at my very heart strings. If you call yourself a Christian and your advice goes against what Jesus taught in Scripture - STOP IT!

7. Cussing. Can you think of nothing better to say? There are a million words you could use in leu of the f-word (for example). Cussing screams uneducated ignorance or a complete disregard for the ears around you. You obviously do not care how your words affect everyone else, which screams selfishness... (see #5). I've seen this quote passed around quite frequently, "Why do I use the f-word? Because. F-you." Selfish. (again, see #5)

8. Justifying mistakes. I fully acknowledge that I do this as well. When I make a mistake the first thing I want to do is defend myself. When I feel like justifying my mistakes I force myself to pray and ask that God soften my heart. It takes more strength and guts to let go of your pride and simply say I'm sorry, deal with the conviction and correction that comes with it, and move on. Oh, and don't say, "I'm not trying to justify, but..." Uh, yes you are, that "but" was your key indicator. I admire the one statement: "Yeah, I screwed up..." more than I do your explanation for why you screwed up. 

9. Whining. I simply do not understand whinese. Plus if Jackie Robinson, the first African American baseball player, had to sign a contract that stated he would not whine or complain if someone spit on him for the color of his skin... what excuse do we have?!

10.Have you caught on yet that selfish behavior is a monster pet peeve? I'm just going to put selfishness as it's own category because, quite frankly, it should be #1 on my list. And selfishness is something I struggle with daily. It's too easy to put my needs above the needs of others and I find myself going there all the time. BUT when my mind is focused on the selflessness of Christ displayed on the cross, there's no room for anything but HIM, and my old selfish self is cast out the window. Thank GOODNESS for Jesus and His free gift of salvation, otherwise I'd be doomed to spend an eternity in hell. So each time I get to the place where I want to cast judgement on others for their selfish sins, I'm reminded of my own and the work Christ is doing in my life, which puts all these stupid, selfish pet peeves in perspective. Get the plank out of your own eye, Becky, and stop being so selfish!

After writing this post I felt a little on edge. I also feel a little like a hypocrite in publishing a post that is one of my pet peeves: ranting. From now on, I think I should stick to topics that don't produce so much anxiety, LOL. 

40 Day Challenge - Draw Closer to God & Your Hubby (Day 30: 20 More)

Day 30
Write 20 more blessings. Spend the day being thankful for these 40 things God has given you. Also, add "why" you're thankful for each blessing.

If you just joined us I encourage you to start with day 1, there's a reason for the order...

• Day 1
• Day 2
• Day 3
• Day 4
• Day 5
• Day 6
• Day 7 
• Day 8
• Day 9
• Day 10
• Day 11
• Day 12
• Day 13
• Day 14
• Day 15
• Day 16
• Day 17
• Day 18
• Day 19
• Day 20
• Day 21
• Day 22
• Day 23
• Day 24
• Day 25
• Day 26
• Day 27
• Day 28
• Day 29

40 Day Challenge - Draw Closer to God & Your Hubby (Day 29: 20 Blessings)

Just like Job, who's first response to losing everything was, "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." (Job 1:21) One of the best ways to draw your heart to God is recognizing all that He's given you. I highly recommend keeping a daily thankful journal. It forces you to change your mindset (here's 10 more reasons). Like Betsie Ten Boom in The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom, who was thankful for fleas in the barracks of a concentration camp during WWII, we need to be thankful in ALL circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 was her inspiration, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (Which would be another fantastic verse to display and memorize!) If we are to be imitators of Christ, who discipled men to imitate Him, who discipled others to imitate them (who were imitating Christ) we are to do the same. Paul told the church in Thessalonians that they, like Christ, were to rejoice pray and give thanks no matter what tribulations you face. When I read Betsie Ten Boom's thankfulfulness for fleas, I knew I had so much more to be thankful for...

UNLIKE Job who gave in to complaining, questioning, and justifying... we need to be constantly mindful of a joyful, prayerful, and thankful heart, mind, body and soul. Jesus told His disciples it was a daily task to follow him, otherwise we become conformed to the world. 

We've talked about true JOY. Jesus first, others second, self last. We find true joy in serving others because that's what Jesus did for us. We've also talked about prayer: praising Him through Scripture and giving everything to Him in prayer even marital conflict, so our next topic?

Day 29
Write down 20 blessings. Spend today thanking God for these 20 things He has given you.

If you just joined us I encourage you to start with day 1, if you couldn't already tell, there's a reason for the order...

• Day 1
• Day 2
• Day 3
• Day 4
• Day 5
• Day 6
• Day 7 
• Day 8
• Day 9
• Day 10
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40 Day Challenge - Draw Closer to God & Your Hubby (Day 28: Dealing with Marital Conflict)

As I've said over and over against these last few days, drawing closer to God, and submitting to His plan in your life, means pulling away from the world. If you truly submit to God's will for wives according to Scripture, life seriously becomes drama and worry free... because we learn to give every thing to Him.... 

Day 28

... including marital conflicts. Today I'm going to challenge you to dedicate yourself to praying with every conflict. If you struggle to find the words, refer to this prayer: 

Heavenly Father, 

Home is supposed to be a refuge from the storms of life, but right now conflict is brewing in ours. Father, minister to each of our hearts and bring us to a place of forgiveness, cooperation, and unity. Help us to communicate clearly to one another, to avoid misunderstanding, to overlook offenses, and to resolve our differences. As we begin to work together as a team, shower Your blessings upon us so that our family will shine brightly for you. 

In Jesus’ Name, 

Amen.

Your husband may or may not join you, but when you feel conflict brewing, stop and pray. Ask for guidance, that He gives you patience, kindness, self-control, and that you learn to submit to your husband just as you submit to Christ. Read Proverbs 15:1, write it down, and apply that piece of wisdom to every conflict you have with your husband in the near future.

If you just joined us I encourage you to start with day 1, if you couldn't already tell, there's a reason for the order...

• Day 1
• Day 2
• Day 3
• Day 4
• Day 5
• Day 6
• Day 7 
• Day 8
• Day 9
• Day 10
• Day 11
• Day 12
• Day 13
• Day 14
• Day 15
• Day 16
• Day 17
• Day 18
• Day 19
• Day 20
• Day 21
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• Day 27

40 Day Challenge - Draw Closer to God & Your Hubby (Day 27: Challenge Yourself Daily)

Life is full of seasons. Ups and downs. Sharp corners and mountain tops we must climb. It is a roller coaster ride. Looking back at history these cliche comparisons describe the way life is for everyone. Knowing we will have highs and lows forces us to prepare for them. The trick isn't keeping the lows at bay, the trick is battling them head on when they come our way. (The rhyming was unintentional...) 

Yesterday and day 10 were designed to help you think about that preparation. What are you going to do to combat life's lows? Redirecting our thoughts towards God's greatness and focusing on worshiping Him transforms our hearts, while keeping the world and their nonsense at bay. We discussed this before (day 2), but I'm going to spend today reminding you - especially now that you have Romans 12:1-2 in your back pocket...

Day 27
In the midst of Job's trials and tribulations what was Elihu's advice? It's the entire purpose of the book of Job: "...stop and consider the wondrous works of God." (Job 37:14) When we rehash everything Job went through in losing his children, wealth, reputation and health we are able to use Job as our example on what to do (and what not to do) when trials and tribulations come our way. I truly believe Elihu's advice to Job should be applied to our every day ups and downs. 

What better way to combat loneliness than to bask in the greatness of God? What better way to battle tribulations that come our way than to simply stop and consider His works? 

We have been given what we don't deserve time and time again. The perfect example of God's mercies? The gospel. It is a wondrous work of God on our behalf! He gave us Himself. This gift of salvation through Jesus Christ should put our lows in perspective and give us renewed hope in the promise that we will spend an eternity with Him.  By acknowledging that Jesus lived, died, rose again, is seated at the right hand of God, and will come back someday all according to Scripture, works wonders on our hardened hearts. 

This entire challenge forces us to redirect our thoughts and actions to Christ to give us renewed hope, purpose and understanding... I didn't fully wrap my mind around this challenge until I sat down and wrote out all 40 days. There's a reason behind each day and the order it's in, so use to today to add to your list based each day of this challenge thus far...

On low days go back... 

• ... to the gospel...
• ... to the wondrous works of God...
• ... to resting in God's Sovereign hand in your life...
• ... to using music to calm your heart...
• ... to celebrating how God is working in your life...
• ... to using Scripture like Proverbs 3:5-6 to remind you of God's promises...
• ... to putting Jesus first, other second, yourself last...
• ... to praying and giving everything to Him...
• ... to your purpose for living: Christ alone...
• ... to making Christ your innermost desire...
• ... to understanding the GREATNESS of God and joyfully giving Him your life as a living sacrifice...
• ... to focusing our minds on God...
• ... to learning about God and what He says about Himself in Scripture, and knowing our husbands so we can joyfully serve them better as well ... even if you don't feel like it...
• ... to appreciating how God made men and women differently and how He uses the unique gifts He gave us to glorify Him, as one flesh, side by side...
• ... to using Scripture to PRAISE God...
• ... to God's perfect, selfless qualities of love that He gives us daily...
• ... giving of yourself freely...
• ... to treating your husband how you'd want to be treated...
• ... to submitting everything to God, including His command to submit to our husbands...
• ... to respecting your husband, even though he may or may not deserve it...
• ... to why God is calling you to display self-control...
• ... to pure thoughts, actions, and words...
• ... to God's calling you to manage your home for His Namesake...
• ... to being kind...
• ... to why loving your spouse is so important...

On low days go back to Jesus' statement that it's necessary to do this daily, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23) We are supposed to deny self daily. If we don't renew our mind daily we are in danger of being conformed to the world and their crap.

This challenge is almost over, but today's challenge is to be a living sacrifice, to renew your mind daily. (I'm hoping the more I say daily the more it sinks in that this challenge doesn't end on day 40....) So, this challenge may be doing a number on you (like it is me) but I don't want it to stop once it's over. USE the skills given here to transform your mind and grow in Christ on a daily basis. 

It's not over yet, there's a few more pieces I'm excited to share, but I needed a day to remember the order and the why behind this challenge. Give of yourself daily, not just these 40 days because I'm challenging you to do so...

If you just joined us I encourage you to start with day 1, if you couldn't already tell, there's a reason for the order...

• Day 1
• Day 2
• Day 3
• Day 4
• Day 5
• Day 6
• Day 7 
• Day 8
• Day 9
• Day 10
• Day 11
• Day 12
• Day 13
• Day 14
• Day 15
• Day 16
• Day 17
• Day 18
• Day 19
• Day 20
• Day 21
• Day 22
• Day 23
• Day 24
• Day 25
• Day 26