This was a decision my husband and I made the first year of our marriage. That year didn't bear much good fruit, but this decision is actually one we will stick with for the entirety of our lifetime together. That period of our life seems like a lifetime ago already. It was the beginning of our walk as Christians. Since then, we've made a lot of mistakes and learned a great deal. I do not like thinking about myself back then - arrogant, combative, worrywart, emotionally impulsive, easily enraged - but thanks be to God who continually works on my heart - teaching, changing, humbling, and encouraging me through this decade with my husband! And I know it had nothing to do (and quite a bit to do) with the amount of television we watched...
1. Too much television bears little fruit for Christ. If all I do in my day is sit my butt down in front of a television show, what am I doing for the advancement of the gospel? How am I being the hands and feet of Christ? I am not saying that watching television occasionally is a bad thing, I'm not even saying that a restful day in front of the television is terrible, but if that is all I do day in and day out, it is wasteful.
2. I find that the more time I spend watching TV I see the woman I once was. Our world encourages arrogance, concealing it as self-love. Our world cheers on the combative (just watch shows like The View or Judge Judy). Our world worries about anything and everything (just watch the news); we are an anxious people! Our world let's their emotions control them rather than being in control of their emotions; we immediately react rather than patiently thinking about it first (just watch dramatic sitcoms). Our world is easily enraged (you can easily see that in reality television or political debates). The television is a place that encourages behavior that once held me captive.
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind..." Romans 12:2
The more I know about an abundance of television, the less likely your mind is renewed in Christ and the more likely it will become conformed to this world. Which leads perfectly into the next point...
3. It is a mindless activity. Watching television requires little to no imagination and we definitely do not want to encourage our children to spend hours doing something mindless, that is one major reason why they will not have one in their room. JAMA Psychiatry published research that proved that young adults who watch too much television had lower cognitive function than those who did not watch too much television. It was a 25 year study where researchers monitored 3,000+ people between 18 and 30 years of age. Their research concluded that an early couch potato lifestyle actually impairs brain activity. High television activity resulted in poor performance on three different cognitive tests! (source)
Be mindful of Jesus.
4. It is not an active pastime. When you watch, you sit on your tush with minimal physical change - you expend very little energy. Our bodies were made for movement, exercise, imagination, dancing, climbing, learning, exploring. How much of that can you accomplish on a recliner while staring at the TV? USA Today published an article with a claim that watching too much television is directly related to an increase in diabetes and heart disease. Researchers studied more than 13,000 individuals over an 8 year time span to determine whether there was a correlation between sedentary lifestyles and death. Turns out that individuals who spent three or more hours a day in front of the television had a higher risk of early death than those who watched less. Why? A cardiologist said that television watching is a passive lifestyle. Those who spend more time watching spend less time paying attention to diet and exercise. This study proved that diabetes and heart disease were associated with a sedentary lifestyle (too much television was the major culprit). (source)
5. It's too easy to turn on and get sucked in without even realizing it. When it's in one location (ours is in the basement family room) then it's less likely to be turned on and left on. Most importantly, it's less likely to become an addiction.
6. It does not encourage much interaction. If you're in front of the television 3 or more hours a day, how much conversation do you have with others?
7. BUT when it is on, that's where everyone is located, so making it a rarity does encourage interaction. What I mean by this is that we are purposeful in what we watch. My husband likes the survival shows and we watch them occasionally. We also watch football and we hysterically giggle over Parks and Rec. What we do watch (which is less than 5 hours a week) helps us relax, laugh over something together, chat about something new... And when football season or March Madness is on, it's then we have friends and family gathered around eating lots of good food, cheering, and enjoying each other. There are some great memories gathered around the TV when you're purposeful about what you watch and when you watch and who you watch it with and why.
8. Television is not the place to go to fulfill our job as parents. Our biblical job is quite clear: raise up children in the knowledge of the Lord. To resort to television as a source of upbringing is disobedient to this calling. That doesn't mean I haven't learned anything about parenting by watching Daniel the Tiger with my children (seriously) but watching this show (no matter how valuable) will not teach my children about Jesus.
9. Television is not a necessity to living and I do not want to give our children any other impression. It is a luxury. Sunday night is our family movie and pizza night. The girls love it. I do believe that it was left on all the time it would become less of a luxury, which is just what it is. It is a treat, a frill, a symbol of high living and wealth. If you have one with the means to afford movies, football, Netflix, &etc. consider yourself blessed.
10. We do not want it to be the center of our home. We do not arrange our main living room around the television. Our main living room is conducive to conversation, games, reading, comfort, and play. The center of our home is Jesus Christ and if the television is on all the time, I do believe it will take away from Him. Anything that does that, must go.
God began a work in me back in April when I expressed my frustration to a woman with whom I disciple. My problem was that every time it came time to pick up it was a battle. The girls were masters at emptying every tub and then being so overwhelmed with the mess that they would not play. And then when it came time to pick up... it was the worst time of day. I began to realize that the majority of my day was doing a general pick up of our stuff!
Not only that but my closet was overflowing. I dreaded putting my clothing away because the containers I had were stuffed and overflowing. I struggled picking an outfit because I had too much to pick from; I knew that I was wasting a lot of time doing this daily.
Also, our storage room disaster was embarrassing and I hated going into our overstuffed laundry room to attempt laundry each week.
I was over it and didn't understand why.
She encouraged me to check out YouTube videos on minimalism. She told me that I'd find them motivating. When I listened to this TED Talk on minimalism I was beyond ready to solve this problem I had.
This began a crazy minimalism search and what I found astounded me. I read this blog post: How Minimalism is Biblical. I read "The Joy of Less" by Francine Jay. The more I read, the more I began to create a minimalist mindset because it dawned on me, thanks to the wisdom of these people, that I was was not living a deliberate, meaningful life.
It was time to define what it meant to live a God-centered, deliberate, meaningful life.
It's been a six month journey that is far from over. And this journey has changed my perspective in so many incredible ways.
I didn't realize how much my stuff, my piles and piles of stuff, was keeping me from quality time with my husband and girls. It was keeping me from enjoying the day to day moments. My stuff was overwhelming me. Most importantly, I was storing up treasures on earth, I found myself thinking that the value of life was found in what or how much I owned, I found that if it came down to it I would struggle giving it away to someone who was in need of it. My treasure was in things.
Then three months into this journey one of my dearest friends passed away. She left behind a husband, 3 beautiful children, and a home full of decor she created to point to the "things" she valued most in life. It was full of Bible verses (like everywhere you look), it was full of pictures of her loved one's and the memories she made with them; her home reflected what she valued: God, husband, children, friends and family. And above her kitchen sink was one word: SIMPLIFY.
As my sister and I cleaned the home she left behind so her husband and children could come home to rest after the longest 2 weeks of their life, we marveled at what she left behind. It suddenly dawned on me why this journey of minimalism was so important: she could take none of this stuff with her and she is now in the only place every Christian should want to be - in the presence of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. She is at peace. She is experiencing joy in His presence. True, unending joy.
That is what I want and that is what I pursue: life in Christ.
As I aspire to become a minimalist and purge the things from my life that keep me from that pursuit, the reasons for this minimalist journey become more and more clear....
1. It's Biblical. It's true that God gives and He takes away (Job 1:21) and also that everything belongs to Him (1 Chronicles 29:14) so we know that our wealth and all that we own is from His hand. On the other hand, we must consider what God says about treasure. One of my favorites begins in Matthew 6:19,
"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
The things we have here on earth will be destroyed. We must have the right mindset about these things and the purpose they serve. Is it wrong to own a lot of things? If I stay in context of this portion of Scripture, my immediate answer is no. However, if you treasure those possessions more than you treasure God, then you have a problem. I was finding that my stuff was taking priority over my purpose in life (see #4) and it was then that I knew it had to go. And everything I've ever had to let go of has claw marks on it. Still, I am incredibly thankful for this process of setting Jesus Christ as my ultimate treasure. He is my one gain. An eternity with Him is my hope, my encouragement. I found that the value of my life was not found in what I owned,
"Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." Luke 12:15
My wealth is in God's kingdom and my life consists in the abundance of grace and mercy and promises and encouragement and wisdom found only in Christ Jesus. When I am satisfied in Him, I am better able to,
"Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no their approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Luke 12:33-34
"But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction." 1 Timothy 6:6-9
The more time I spend reading my Bible the more I realize that if anything in this world becomes more important than Jesus and the purpose He put in my life, then it has to go.
2. My husband has always been a minimalist. He always seemed frustrated when I brought stuff home. I didn't understand why until undertaking this journey. Now that we are on the same page, he just keeps saying that it's easier. Taking this on with his full support has been a huge encouragement, but also necessary because I didn't realize how my selfish lifestyle was affecting him. This is one way to bless him. I thank him quite a bit for his patience with me as I filled our home with unnecessary items, overwhelming him and (unknowingly) myself. And although the money I spent was at a thrift store or the clearance rack, the dollar here and there added up rather quickly and was keeping him from his goal. As I gathered items purchased in the 8 years of our marriage I became ashamed of how much money I spent on worthless stuff. Even though I bought it for a killer price, there was no need for it. Kyle understood that. I am so sorry that it took me this long to realize this fact.
3. Overstuffed = Overwhelmed. My day-to-day life was overwhelming. Putting stuff away in an attempt to keep the house clean was hard work. Stuff was making it harder than it needed to be. My mantra is now: if it doesn't all fit in the container dedicated to it, then rid yourself of the extras. For example, there was no reason to own 3 red tank tops. They were each different for reasons I liked, but I finally picked a favorite and most versatile, then donated the rest. I owned 20+ t-shirts! All of my t-shirts barely fit in a drawer! Now I have my workout clothes, t-shirts, and pajamas all in one drawer. Six months ago I had a tub for each of those "categories" (insert eye-rolling emoji here). In our kitchen I had more coffee cups than I ever used (even with company). They had to be stacked to fit into the cupboard. We owned two sets of wine glasses. (Why???) When it came down to it, these overstuffed places were overwhelming. Also, most of what we owned, we never used.
4. Stuff was keeping me from focusing on my purpose in life. This is my purpose statement:
"I, Rebecca, am first and foremost a servant of Jesus Christ because of my faith in the work He accomplished on the cross - in His death, burial, and resurrection. He has called me to be a loving, respectful and submissive wife to Kyle. A loving and kind mother to Brielle and Eleanna who raises them in the knowledge of Christ. I am a disciple and a disciple maker. Lastly, I am a reading and writing teacher."
If anything is outside of what I believe God is calling me to do, it's gone. I let too much get in the way of my God-given calling. It was past time to say "no" to everything else as I found the joy in pursuing a God-centered, deliberate, meaningful life.
5. I am unencumbered by things I do not use. (Everything has a purpose.) Kyle has always said this, I want everything to have a purpose. And I did not understand fully what he meant until pursuing this lifestyle. If it doesn't serve a purpose, if it is never used, then do not become encumbered by it. As I donated boxes I found freedom in letting it all go, and I also marveled at the fact that I could not remember what was in them. I haven't kept a perfect count, but my goal was 40 boxes or trash bags by next April; I'm already at 31. I am enjoying the fact that I am not burdened by things as they become less and less. I find more joy in time with God knowing that my home is not distracting me. I find more joy in blessing my husband and helping him through my day. I find more joy in the time I have for the girls. Pick-up time is less stressful. Everything has a purpose, down to what is on the wall for us to look at every day. If there is no purpose or joy in it - I find that I do not want it because I find it cramps my purpose in life. It's a load I do not want to bear, nor should bear.
6. Spending less and more intentional spending. One of my favorite pastimes is grabbing a coffee and searching for treasure at a thrift store. I still enjoy uncovering lovely items for a fraction of their original price. In the six months since this journey began, my only reason for going into these stores was to donate much of what I probably purchased in places like that. The last time I visited I gathered an item here or there and found a purpose for it immediately - or I simply enjoyed looking at it. The one unnecessary item I purchased (a cute green hat) I bought for $1 and knew immediately which hat it would replace (my goal is to not add to what I already own). If I cannot do either one of those things, I simply enjoy looking and appreciating it from afar. I was a bit worried about going in, wondering if I would have self-control, and I felt prepared with the tools I had read about and the fixed mindset as a result, but I was super pleased that these strategies I set in place were actually put to use. I walked out of the store with two items, they both had a purpose, and I used the cash I had in my wallet (the limit I set for myself) rather than swiping the credit card.
7. Time. I found that dealing with the stuff in our home was actually keeping me from doing the things I wanted or needed to do. One example: there were times I spent 30 minutes finding an outfit in the morning, trying one on - not liking it - throwing it on the bed - making a mess to clean up later (more time), coming upstairs to dress the girls - digging through their mounds of clothes (making another mess for later), making breakfast (but not until I cleaned up the disaster of dishes from supper the night before), and before I knew it we were running late. Running late put me in a grumpy mood that was taken out on our girls. They were not getting the best of me. Hurrying here and there became our lifestyle. All because I spent too much time on things that do not matter in the long run. When I purged those things I did not like on me, picked my favorites, set in place a color scheme for my closet so that everything went with everything, I spent less time on an outfit and more time enjoying. I knew I liked it on me, so over-thinking about it was not an issue. After going through the girls closet and picking items we both loved, it was easier to dress them. Then cleaning up the mess of supper was easy to do before bed because there was less to clean. I realized that it was easier to live with less. The less I had, the more time I had to read my Bible, memorize verses, teach my children, read a book, write a blog post, enjoy my cup of coffee in the morning, workout, tackle the things my husband needed accomplished, spoil him in ways I neglected before... there is so much freedom in owning less! Less stuff = more time.
8. Spiders. Spiders love piles. On laundry day they come out of the woodwork. I swear that my piles of sorted clothes attract them from miles away. It's so grotesquely strange. The more stuff that was piled on the floor the more spiders and spider webs I found hidden behind or under them. As I rid myself of furniture and cleaned those spaces, I was amazed at all their hidden places. I hate spiders. They are creepy. The more I rid the home of stuff, the less opportunity they had to make a home of our home. Win. Win.
9. I finally came to terms with the fact that I am not an organized person. The more stuff I had, the more I became overwhelmed with my feeble attempts at organizing it all. I had a board on Pinterest dedicated to this task that I tried to tackle (which has now been deleted - WOOOHOOO!). In the process of becoming organized, I'd make a mess - which overwhelmed me - and when I felt overwhelmed I had the tendency to just stare at it, not knowing where to start. Most of the time I left it lay, not knowing what to do with it. IF I did finally get it organized then I lacked the discipline needed to keep it that way. Less stuff = less to try and organize.
10. I held too tightly to things that have no eternal value. I found that some items were packed away in memory boxes that I had completely forgotten about. When I attached a memory to something, I had more difficulty in ridding myself of it. But what good is it to me if it sits in a box?! Not everything was tossed, but if I could not fit it in one container - I joyfully reminisced and then joyfully let go of it. If the item gave me memories of things I'd rather forget, I trashed it - joyfully. Otherwise, I went to the suggestions of others to "keep" the memory attached to the item (i.e. taking a picture of it) and then rid myself of the item itself. The item does not make the memory special and ridding myself of the item does not take the memory away, the joy found in it, or the love for the people in it.
This journey is not over. I have a lot of things on my list yet to purge (i.e. crafting supplies, filing cabinet full of paperwork - and the pile of paperwork on top of it, Christmas decor, teaching stuff, &etc.) but I've come a looooong way. Most of what is sitting in my laundry room are those crafting supplies I have yet to tackle and piles of donation boxes. It is liberating to rid the house of those piles and put tally marks next to my 40 bag goal!
If you can relate to anything in my story, I encourage you to begin this pursuit. This is what helps me: Concepts that Help Me Live with Less SaveSave
I do not typically recommend love stories. When I wrote a top ten recommending romances, I struggled coming up with 10 worth recommending, but this one made my all-time favorites list (and there are only 7 on that list). I've read many, many excellent books, but there aren't many that challenge my thinking, affect me emotionally, teach me, and entertain all at once. This book is all that and more!
Every woman needs to read this book!
There are not many books I take the time to read more than once. The is one such book. The second time through was even better than the first time. The first time I read it quickly in an effort to find out what was going to happen next; I can hardly stand not knowing how the story will end and this one definitely has a one of a kind ending worth talking about! It is, by far, my favorite part of the book. Without giving too much away, I will just say that it a beautiful picture for believers as we stand unashamed before Christ because of His incredible, never-ending, abounding love for His own.
Read my review here and then read it for yourself.
This book has very few words, but if you pay attention to the message behind it, it will impact your thinking while also being simple and clear enough to discuss it with your young reader. It very clearly reveals what happens if you plant a seed of kindness or if you plant a seed of selfishness. Whatever you plant is whatever fruit you'll receive.
It's a perfect one for this spring season when seeds begin to sprout! There's so much to talk about!
Such great illustrations go along with the phenomenal message behind it - making it doubly worth a look.
This is one of those children's books that will forever be on my shelf. It is one of our all-time favorite children's books. It begins with Genesis 1:31, continues with adorable rhyme dialogue between a mother and her son and ends with poetry.
This little boy in the book is curious about the world he explores with his mom and asks lots of questions beginning with, "Mama, look!" But it's the mother's response that amazes me...
Example:
"Mama, look!"
A tiny sprout!
Who made this sprig of spring pop out?
He who knows our every need.
Only God can make a seed."
My favorite is the poem at the end when mom explains the world around him,
"God shapes the birds, the plums, and trees.
He makes the rain and salty seas.
Ancient stones he molds just right.
And distant stars that shine so bright.
God makes seeds to grow and grow.
He paints the flowers, blows winter's snow.
God fashions fish.
Kittens too.
Yes, God makes wondrous things it's true.
But best of all, God made YOU!"
It's a wonderful book that I highly recommend adding to your forever library. It teaches. It's thought provoking. The illustrations are wonderful. The theology is biblically sound.
Honestly, this should've been my first book of the week. This is the book, that after studying the book of Romans, transformed my thinking - giving me comfort that is only found in the gospel. I try to read this book every year because Milton Vincent did an excellent job of taking the gospel and explaining the life-transforming, powerful truths behind Christ's work on the cross. He beautifully outlines 31 valuable blessings the gospel bestows upon the life of a believer. It's impossible to read this book without gaining wisdom, without absorbing these benefits deep into ones heart, mind and soul, without treasuring the gifts given through Jesus Christ, without being utterly transformed! It is less than 100 pages, but these few pages offer diamonds - shining brilliantly against the black backdrop of our sin - preaching "life-giving, soul-reviving, heart-rejoicing" truths behind Jesus' death, burial and resurrection. (Quotations taken from Mike Bullmore's forward on page 4.)
If there is any book (other than the Bible) that I suggest a Christian must read - men and women alike - it is this one. I encourage you to read this book because it is not only a useful tool to help us digest the truth in the gospel daily, but it reminds us what is important and encourages to continually praise God for his gift of salvation. Plus, there is no better way to praise and glorify Him than to understand what the gospel is continually doing in our lives because of the work of Jesus Christ!
If you need further convincing, read my book review from October of 2013 here.
I picked up this book, published back in 2009, on a whim. A Bride in the Bargain by Deanna Gist was in a bargain bin somewhere and I only picked it up because the plot reminded me of childhood readings. At 12 years old, the idea of a mail-order bride during the 1800's fascinated me.
I can't say I had high expectations for this book. I do not know why this particular piece of history was so interesting, but I wanted to see if the plot synopsis was as stupid as it now sounds.
At page 231, this book surprised me and I could not put it down.
Want a love story worth your time? Self-sacrifice? Biblical perspective? A historical fiction written because of an author's excellent research? Read this one!
This became one of my favorite books on page 231. It is not that it was a bad book up to that point, but it was at that point the book went from average to phenomenal. All because of one character who helped Anna see how big God really is using my favorite Scripture; a turning point in my own life becoming one for the main character. Despite her being fiction, I felt a connection. She drove me crazy with her nonsensical reasoning behind the biggest moments of her life and was saddened to read the note her father wrote was one that actually existed. Which brings me to my next point: I enjoyed the book all the more when I finished with the author's note detailing her research behind this fantastic historical fiction novel. One that I did not go into with overwhelming confidence but would now recommend as a must read! And one that will stay on my shelf to read again someday.
The Jester Has Lost His Jingle by David Salesman is one of our absolute favorite books in this house. We love the story line of a Jester who tries to make the king laugh, but the king lost his laugh so he banished him. From there the Jester desperately searches for laughter. His journey helps him understand that it's hidden deep within.
But it isn't the story that gets me, or the clever rhyming, or wonderful vocabulary, or even the creative style.
It is the story behind the story.
I recently wrote ten reasons why you should never skip the author's note at the end of a book, here's one example why! I never would have learned that David Salesman wrote this book as a result of some grumpy classmates that ruined his good mood. Or that afterwards he drew a jester and captioned it, "The jester has lost his jingle." According to the note at the end of the book, it was this same drawing that captured his attention moments after learning he was diagnosed with cancer. He realized that no matter his circumstances, he needed to laugh and make the best of life.
The book was born.
It was the continuation of this particular story that made the book for me! I found the author inspiring. Even more so when I read that this book was his senior project at Yale where he graduated Magna Cam Laude of his class. However, it wasn't just his work ethic or intelligence that pulled on my heart strings, it was that this book was published after his death at age 22. A promise fulfilled by his family, so that it's message of laughter would be shared with children coping with cancer and other illnesses.
At the end of every book is a note from the author. Here's 10 reasons to never skip it...
1. It adds depth to the story. When you learn why an author wrote a book it may blow your mind. For example, after reading one of my all time favorites, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, I learned that the original author became ill and asked her niece to finish the story. She died before it's completion, but how the story began is one that I thoroughly enjoyed reading, nearly as much as the book. Plus it helped me to understand the work she did to uncover the history behind this phenomenal historical fiction novel. The niece wrote the author's note as a tribute to a story teller I wish I had the chance to listen to in real life!
2. You will learn something new. After reading, and loving, A Bride in the Bargain by Deeanne Gist, I found out that the letter she based her book off of was one that a father actually wrote to his daughter during the Civil War (it will break your heart) and that a schemer actually did put an ad in the newspaper for men to purchase brides. THEN he created separate contracts! The women signed a contract stating they were going to work and the men signed a contract thinking they were getting a wife. Can you imagine the chaos when they met?!
3. The story behind the story will inspire you. After reading one of my all time favorite children's book (written in the 80's) titled The Jester Has Lost His Jingle by David Saltzman I was awed by his story. After being diagnosed with cancer (which took his life at the age of 22) he made the choice to be joyful. This book is all about that choice and if I had not read the author's note, I would have missed out on how one man's struggle forced him to find the joy in life, thus inspiring me to do the same.
4. It will make the story come alive! After reading about how Suzanne Collins is an expert on how war affects children, I took her books more seriously. Wow, they are depressing, but they are also eye-opening. She knows what she's talking about and she chose science fiction to tell us about it.
5. You will respect the author that much more. If an author writes a really good story that's because there's a lot of prep to be done beforehand. Research. Reading. Interviews. Travel. Research. Reading. Reading. Reading. So many times the author talks about that hard work and not only does it add depth to their story - making it come alive, but I typically learn something new, and walk away inspired.
6. You make a friend. Although I have yet to meet my favorite author's face-to-face, I can honestly say I would call each one of them a friend based on their writing alone. Writing reveals a lot about a person - their wit, intelligence, work ethic, etc. And it's usually their note to their reader that makes me like them all the more.
7. It makes the author human. I know that sounds crazy but it's upon learning about their struggles, dreams, hard work... that I realize, hmmm they're more like me than I realize!
8. It helps you understand the why, the who, the what, the when, the where, the how. The author typically reveals quite a bit about their story and there are so many times that my understanding of the story increased ten-fold because of that little note at the end.
9. The writing is just as good as the story itself. If you liked the writing style of the book, you will like the writing style of the author's note. The same person wrote it. So read it.
10. Sometimes it's like a continuation of the story. If the story is good I don't want it to end, so this is one way of making it last just a little bit longer. I savor every word. Sometimes, just sometimes, the author gives a little bit extra. It's like finding hidden treasure!
Plus One: Sometimes they share their testimony. In Atonement Child by Francine Rivers she tells this incredible story of a young woman who was raped, became pregnant and faced the decision on whether or not to have an abortion. Her testimony sounds very similar. It forces you to respect the content for which she was writing, because she has personal experience, but it adds so much depth, her testimony is inspiring and made her book come alive! Everything I listed was accomplished by reading Francine's note. I'll never forget the story because of this particular author's note.
If the book is good and the author has something to say about it, don't skip it! Seriously.
"I know that if I want my child to learn something, it's my responsibility to teach it to them."
I wanted to scream from the roof tops, "THANK YOU!"
But I resisted the urge and instead quietly told her how much I appreciated hearing that. I've been in too many situations and heard too many parents say that it is the school's job to teach __________. Nope. That is yours. Want your kids to know how to do their taxes? Handle finances appropriately? Act responsibly? Know right from wrong?
Teach them.
Teachers in the public school system typically have 20+ kids in their classroom. Over half of them are not where they should be, and the government has a whole host of requirements that come with the job of teaching abc's and 123's. If you want to know what I mean just Google your state's teaching standards by the grade per subject. That is what we are required to teach, along with the curriculum provided from the school, along with Title 1 and special education requirements, along with meeting the needs of high ability learners and multicultural requirements, all while not letting any of them fall behind academically, so each and every one of them can pass a standardized test that we all agree is stupid.
Time is not a luxury.
So with the time that you have, learn from this momma. Teach them to grow into responsible citizen's of society, so that when the day comes that they are to go out in it, you have raised a hard working, kind, contributing individual who is able to think for themselves. And pay their taxes.
I began writing a top ten, the title being 'favorite passages in Scripture' but when my list began with my favorite in Job, to multiple pieces in Ecclesiastes and Romans and Ephesians and Hosea and Isaiah... Proverbs... Psalms... I quickly realized that I could not narrow it down to a mere ten. Sooooo I scraped that idea because it became an impossibility to pick ten. Therefore, I'm going to pick my favorites from each book, beginning a series of blogs about my favorite passages in Scripture. Who knows how long this will take, but I cannot wait to share with you my favorite part in Genesis!
The story of Joseph is a favorite because it is quite clear that God at work setting up the story of the passover where He reveals Himself as the only true God - establishing His mighty name and the giving of His Word. The Israelites had to be in Egypt in order for any of this to happen and He used Joseph in amazing ways.
The Background Story
First God gives Joseph dreams that illustrate the power he'll have in Egypt, but his lack of humility to his brothers gets him in a bit of trouble. They act on their jealousy by selling him into slavery. He ended up in the home of Potiphar, who was an officer of Pharaoh and there he became the overseer of the home because, "The Lord was with Joseph and he became a successful man." (39:2) But Potiphar's wife tried to seduce him and when she failed at doing so, she accused him of trying to rape her. He was sent to jail, "where the king's prisoners were confined" (39:20). These things were horrible, but they were not an accident! He was a slave to one of the most powerful men in Egypt so that he would end up in a specific prison so he would interpret the dreams of the man who tested PHARAOH'S cup. God orchestrated each of these events to put Joseph in a place of power so that Israel would bring his family to Egypt so that years later God would deliver His people with a mighty and outstretched arm!
My favorite passage explains this, but just to clarify this fact, look at the rest of the story: The keeper of the prison put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners. Why? Read 39:20: "BUT the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison." "Some time later" (it could've been many years) two men were thrown in prison for angering Pharaoh. It 'just so happened' that they were put in the prison with Joseph, where he attended them. They each had disturbing dreams and were distraught because of them. Joseph's response to them both, "Do not interpretations belong to God? Please tell them to me." (40:8) Once they did, Joseph told them the interpretation and they came true. It wasn't until two years later that the cup-bearer remembered Joseph and it was all because Pharaoh had disturbing dreams! As a result, Joseph gave God the glory for the interpretation, "It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer." (41:16) Once Joseph told Pharaoh about the seven years of prosperity followed by the seven years of famine, Joseph makes this amazing statement, "God has shown to Pharaoh what he is about to do." 41:28 Pharaoh was so amazed at Joseph's wisdom that he Pharaoh put him second in command. During the seven plentiful years (that God brought about - reread 41:28) Joseph stored up food to prepare for the famine (that God brought about - reread 41:28) and when his brothers heard of Egypt having food, they went to get some for themselves, and once they realized it was Joseph they bowed down to (remember the dreams that began this fiasco in the first place?), the entire family came to Egypt and Joseph took care of them!
*You should know that this portion of my Bible has a lot of purple underlines and highlights. Purple = God's sovereignty (In other words, every piece that illustrates that God was in control is purple.) I encourage you to read this story beginning in Genesis 37. My Favorite Passage
I do not know how long Joseph was a slave or how long exactly he was a prisoner or how many years he had to wait to see his father, brother Benjamin, or how long it took to see his first dreams fulfilled (where his brothers bow down to him), but this story illustrates God's sovereignty beautifully: God works all things out for good according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) ALL things. Not just some things. He works out the good and the bad for His purpose and my favorite passage in Genesis proves it:
"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today." Genesis 50:20
Joseph forgave his brothers and in doing so relayed this message: when you sold me into slavery, you meant it for evil, but God meant it for good. Nothing was an accident, or happen-chance. God did it because He had a plan to save lives and He was going to fulfill the promise He made way back to Abraham, which Joseph reminded his brothers on his death bed, "I am about to die, but God will visit you and bring you up out of this land to the land that he swore to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob." Genesis 50:24
Which brings me to my next favorite passage in Scripture... so stay tuned!
I debated for so long on what to do with my blog. I want to keep writing, but my schedule is insanely busy. As I hashed out my schedule I began to realize how much time I wasted doing things that do not matter (i.e. scrolling through Facebook). I knew that I needed to get back to doing something that I enjoy, but is not a brainless activity, (like scrolling through Facebook). I've made reading and writing a priority during those rare down times of my daily life and I have forgotten how much I enjoy it! It's like working out, if I don't simply suck it up and do it I'll never get anywhere and then I forget how good it feels when my body is no longer stagnant. Apply the same concept to my brain. I was fueling it with status updates, which of course sounds absolutely ridiculous, but that's how I spent my time when the girls were in bed and everything I needed done for the day was done. That's just silly! I may not have a top ten every Tuesday, but I'm not going to waste 20 minutes of my time on Facebook. Since putting reading back into my life my brain is suddenly swarming with ideas again. (Amazing isn't it?!)
With that said, a top ten inspired by some recent reading and some old favorites...
Let's be honest, I'm a romantic. Stories about how two people fell in love, and then their decisions as they faced conflict together, get me. I'm a sucker for words: poetry, love letters, secret whispers. I love books, so it should be no surprise to my husband that the best way to woo me is through the beauty of words. They speak to my soul. I truly believe my love for romancing comes from God Himself because He designed marriage to reveal the type of relationship we have in Christ; and my own is an amazing one. This mystery is one that is not easily understood and so I struggle with the words to explain it myself. But what Scripture states about a husband and a wife in comparison to Jesus and His bride give me goosebumps (Ephesians 5:22-33). So when I read stories about love I am reminded of how incredibly blessed I am to have the husband God has given me with my very own love story, and for God's steadfast, unfailing love despite my daily imperfections. I do not read romance novels because I need an escape from my life, but because I find them encouraging and fun and thought-provoking. I also want to be careful with what type of love story I read because romance novels can be grotesque and painstakingly similar. In fact, I would argue that romance novels are to women what pornography is to men. So if it involves graphic sex scenes and unrealistic expectations (which can be deadly in any marriage) I will not read finish reading it. So these are recommended because they are unique, thought-provoking, encouraging and fun.
1. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers is the very first book I would recommend to any woman. I cannot recommend this one enough. She wrote it to go along with the book of Hosea in the Bible, which illustrates God's perfect, steadfast love when Israel (His chosen people) failed Him time and time again. Michael represents Hosea and the main character, Angel, represents Israel. Angel's life is an extremely difficult one, with quite a past (that readers will find shocking, I will warn you that Francine Rivers does not shy away from details). She fails Michael time and time again, but he remains faithful and steady. The ending is not what you'd expect and will blow your socks off. I wish I could talk about it here without giving it away! 2. I also liked her book The Atonement Childwhich is about a broken relationship that brought about a love story worth reading. It is a heartbreaking book that will challenge your thoughts on abortion, adoption, and so much more. I encourage everyone to read this book and then follow it up with Francine River's testimony - the whole reason she wrote it - which is a HUGE reason why I enjoyed it so much. She wasn't just writing realistic fiction for the sake of writing it, her own experiences inspired this amazing story. 3. The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks is another favorite. Nicholas Spark books were always "meh" or "okay" until I read this one. I cannot say enough about this book and the surprises in it. It's about one of Noah and Allie daughter's from The Notebook who has been married 30 years, but her marriage is failing. It's told from the perspective of her husband who knows that he must win her heart or lose her. How he does it is phenomenal. 4. The Vow by Kim and Krickitt Carpenter is a non-fiction story told mainly from Kim's perspective. It's one of undying devotion in the face of tragedy. It's a bit dry because, well (let's be honest) it was written by a man, so it's unemotional, but the story will inspire you. Krickitt will inspire you. And the book is nothing like the movie. In fact, it's so different that I was disgusted with the movie and couldn't even finish it. I felt like Hollywood took too many liberties (weird, right?) and they kept God out of the story (another complete surprise), which was the central focus of Kim and Krickitt's life. However, Kim and Krickett see it from a different perspective: they took advantage of the opportunities the movie gave them to talk about how God worked in their life. I was, and still am, amazed by them and their devotion. 5. A Bride in the Bargain by Deeanne Gist was one I picked up recently because of the story plot. When I was a 10-12 year old girl the idea of being a mail order bride intrigued me. I devoured historical fiction stories revolving around this piece of history (don't ask me why). So when I found this one I picked it up as a chuckle; a reminder of those innocent days of wondering. I was genuinely surprised. It was an okay book until I hit page 231 where the main character is hit in the gut by my favorite passage in Scripture: Job 38. It's when God answers Job and reveals his greatness, His power, His sovereignty. The author beautifully articulates how Scripture changed her thinking from one of pride to one of awe. I was surprised to find deep theology in a romance! And this wasn't the only occasion. For that reason the author went up a few notches in my book. I am now interested in other books written by her. 6. Eve's Daughters by Lynn Austen is not the happily-ever-after love story of the year. In fact, it's heartbreaking. But it is so incredibly eye-opening and well written. It follows the lives of four women and how their choices affect family generations later. It tells the tale of one woman in particular whose story will break your heart, but who has determined that her 50 year-old secrets should be told to her granddaughter in an effort to save her marriage. 7. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen a classic, must-read. It might be a sin leaving this one out of any romance novel recommendations (for good reason). 8. The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins who also wrote another trilogy I thought was better than The Hunger Games titled Gregor the Overlander. There is a teeny bit of a romance in the story but it's not the central focus, but it is just as dark as The Hunger Games, if not more. I bawled like a baby. Suzanne Collins is an expert on how war affects children. Her study on this particular topic is evident when you read her books and I recommend The Hunger Games not just because it's a story worth your time, but because you can see inside the brain of someone who has seen and done more than we can possibly imagine. It's heartbreakingly eye-opening and depressing, but is also full inspiration to persevere, with a bit of hope sprinkled on top. Plus there is an imperfect romance told throughout. 9. Me Before Youby Jojo Moyes is an excellent book that I absolutely hated. Oxymoronic I know, but it made me angry, it made me sob, it addressed issues I never thought twice about until reading it, and it was a heartbreaking love story that did not end like I wanted it to. I was angered by how society treats people in wheelchairs. I was enlightened on the difficulties those individuals face daily. And I could not put it down. All of this was heartbreaking and frustrating. I applaud Jojo for writing about these things! I also applaud her for writing an amazing love story. It was full of hope, dedication, perseverance, and potential that was crushed by one selfish decision. I'll let you read it and make your own judgment call on assisted suicide, but I believe, even after reading about the struggles one faces day in and day out with a handicap, that suicide is the most self-centered decision one could make. Life sucks. It can be a mess. Full of trials and sickness and heartache. But it can also be beautiful and full of hope and learning and growing. I cannot even dare to say I understand the trials of living life as a quadriplegic. The inability to even wipe ones own "arse" would be humiliating. To be stuck. Immobile. With own one's memories about a life once lived, driving one mad. I have only my imagination to dredge up the horrors people face day in and day out. No one would choose to live that life, but it's only one life to live and it's not just about you. So read this book and have a good think on it, but make sure you have a box of tissues. The second book titled,After Youis also excellent. I had a hard time deciding which I liked more! You rarely get the story after the story. I was so thankful that the author gave a glimpse into the life after losing Will and how she lived with her grief. I wouldn't recommend one without reading the other. 10. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows This one took me at least 30 pages to get into, but once I was able to differentiate between the characters and get past some of the literary references I knew nothing of, I could not put it down! There was so much depth to the story and the formatting was so different than anything I've ever read that I fell in love with the author's ability to tell a story through letter correspondence. Genius! This is one of those eye-opening, rip-your-heart-out books I'll always treasure, especially after reading the extra insight in the author's note (don't skip it). SaveSave
While I was pregnant with Eleanna, I was bombarded by yeast infections. One after the other after the other, until finally, I was given a prescription medication that finally did the trick in relieving me of the symptoms. However, six months after she was born it reared its ugly head again. I did the same things as before and when nothing was working, I went to the doctor. There I found out I had BV (bacterial vaginosis) which is the most common vaginal infection affecting women today. It's an imbalance of good bacteria and bad bacteria. They tell you to go to the doctor for antibiotics, which I did, but here's the kicker: 30% of BV cases come back. And it did for me, along with a UTI. I was miserable. I tried reading a book on BV specifically and how to treat it using hydrogen peroxide, probiotics, vitamins, yogurt, etc. etc. You name it, I tried it. Nothing was working and I was desperate. I finally chatted with a friend who is super knowledgeable about natural healing and she instructed me to eliminate sugar from my diet.
What does bacterial vaginosis have to do with sugar?
Quite a bit actually. My diet was killing my vagina. Was it as weird reading that as it was typing it? Haha, it sounds funny, but it is the truth. Sugar was feeding the yeast and I kept eating it. So, I cut all processed sugar from my diet completely. It was way harder than it sounds because sugar is in everything. Reading ingredients became a habit and I was strict about what I ate. I began to notice a big difference, but it didn't cure it.
When I went back to researching I happened across an online discussion where women, just like me, struggled with reoccurring BV's. Some things worked for some, while that same thing didn't work for others. It was extremely frustrating. I was going through their "Have you tried this?" list and found one that I had not tried: boric acid. Voila! After one suppository, the symptoms were gone! It was a HUGE relief.
Unfortunately, I feel like I'm now an expert on a subject I had no intention of ever knowing anything about, but I felt like I had to share this story because I know I'm not alone. And sugar may be your culprit.
Sugar
Let's have a little chat about sugar. Sugar is a good thing in its natural form. It's what the body uses to create energy, however, there is a huge difference between natural sugar and refined/processed sugar. Our body needs sugar (aka carbohydrates) in order to function properly, however, no matter how badly we want it to, our body does not need cakes, cookies, pastas, breads, etc. Our body needs the nutrients and the carbohydrates, but I was beginning to understand how refined sugar affected me specifically and it was not good - obviously.
I also could not believe how much sugar my family was eating on a daily basis! We mainly stuck to the outside of the grocery store when shopping, and stuck to fruits and vegetables mainly. Still, we were consuming more sugar than was needed. I also couldn't believe how much I did not know about simple carbs and complex carbs or processed sugar verses refined sugar. The more I knew the more I became aware of healthy food choices.
And then when I saw and felt how my body reacted to this sugar break I knew I couldn't go back.
A Big Bonus
A big bonus of this knowledge, and putting it at work in my life, was my body's reaction to the changes. I was the biggest I've ever been my freshman year of college and was bound and determined to never be overweight again. In fact, I weighed less being pregnant than I did back in those days. The more I learned about diet, the more I began to understand the huge role it plays in overall health and appearance. Breastfeeding definitely helps in that "weight" arena, but eliminating sugar for 40 days took all that baby weight off. That was enormously satisfying in and of itself.
Another Sugar Fast
We decided that after the holiday's we needed another break from sugar, so we dedicated an entire month to being refined-sugar-free. I am again pleased with the results. The first week is the hardest, but it is so worth it. I never, ever want to go back to where I was before. My body can't handle it. When I overdo sugar now-a-days my stomach hurts. It just isn't worth it. I used to enjoy giant macchiatos from Starbucks, or small blizzards from DQ, but now I can't even take a sip of it without cringing and I can barely finish a mini blizzard. It's too much and I'm perfectly okay with that. I enjoy a slice of dark chocolate after dinner and I'm satisfied. I feel so much better and my vagina thanks me... haha.
Just try it.
I encourage you to try it. Start with a week and see how you feel. Begin to pay attention to the ingredients and find food that has no added sugar, but you enjoy eating (example: cashews are a new favorite snack as well as goldfish and raisins or natural peanut butter and an apple). You do not have to cut everything out entirely, but moderation is most definitely a good thing.
