Reflecting month by month, day by day, I can honestly say that God brought some of the biggest challenges, heart wrenching days, memorable moments, and friendships than I have ever, ever experienced. There are monumental years (i.e. 2012) that deliver enormous change and memorable moments; 2017 is one of those years.
It's in this year that I learned I loved being a librarian and also had to give it up for the sake of my family. We began homeschooling our kindergartner who fast became a reader and quick learner, mastering skill upon skill upon skill.
We had to let go of much, yet gained much more. These moments of letting go of the nonessentials to focus on the essentials has been a new focus this year, and everything I've ever had to let go has claw marks on it.
This includes my stuff.
In April I discovered that my stuff gave me stress. I stressed about cleaning it and picking it up and having too much of it. I discovered that I needed to be a minimalist. Since April I have purged an enormous amount of stuff from our home, freeing me of time and allowing me to enjoy that time more. My goal was to donate 40 trash bags of stuff and by December I reached 35 and I'm not entirely sure I've kept a good record of it. This does not include items sold, which includes a dresser I emptied and endless totes! This pursuit of minimalism has changed me beyond what I can possibly explain here. I can only say that I realized my stuff was taking my focus off of Christ because I held fast to things rather than moments and memories and eternity with my Lord and Savior.
This journey began in April and I didn't truly realize how desperately I needed an eternal perspective until a friend passed away on July 8. She left behind her husband, 3 young children, and all of her stuff. I knew I could take nothing with me when I died, but it wasn't until her death and cleaning her home amidst everything she created, hung on the walls, her shoes by the door, that I began to think about my own death-date and all the things I would leave behind. I began to ask myself, what do I truly want to leave behind? It isn't a mess of things for my family to sort through, but it's memories and moments to cherish, and it's a reflection of my life - that I was focused on the only thing that mattered: the day I finally meet my Creator face to face. The day, like Erin, my faith becomes sight.
Above her kitchen sink was the word simplify the one word that exemplified -exactly- the lifestyle I needed to pursue. Erin inspired me in many ways, even after her death. And as I prayed, tears streaming down my face, I thanked God for my short time with her. Teaching with her. Play-dates with her. Memories made. Laughter shared. Excitement over books and coffee. Observing her patience with her children, the kindness of her actions, the thoughtfulness of her words. Sharing due dates and birthdays with our girls. Conversations centered around our Creator. And then I praised God for His sovereign hand, for the joy set before us as we hope for an eternity with Him.
It was an incredibly hard - yet uplifting, joyful - yet full of heart ache moment I'll never, ever forget.
This moment was even sweeter because I shared it with my sister. As we cried and prayed together our appreciation for the life God gave us together grew tenfold.
God provided immense comfort and growth in my discipleship relationships as well. As Deb and I poured over Scripture the days following Erin's death we were comforted by God's sovereignty and encouraged by His promises. We prayed and cried and praised God through two songs.
These two songs became essential encouragement during this time. For just one week before Erin passed away our pastor played them for the worship team with the instructions to learn them for future worship time. They spoke to my heart and soul even then, fast becoming favorites. The days following Erin's death, they were played on repeat.
We visited my sister in Minnesota and discovered (once again) that the time is never long enough. On our way to her we visited friends along the way, meeting new little ones and relishing the short time with them (again wishing we had more time).
We enjoyed time with our pastor and his wife learning from them and growing in our friendship. These memories become more and more precious knowing that our time here is not guaranteed and is a gift from God!
One of our dearest friends got married and Brandi and I felt blessed by her wanting us to take her pictures.
There were showers, and play-dates, and short family trips (that we won!) and many more memories. There were countless lessons, celebrations, convictions, and changes.
Like our college friend setting a world record by being the first hemophiliac to summit Everest. We follow his journey daily and travel to Denver to celebrate his accomplishments. It is so fun to see how your friends surpass expectations, and accomplish feats unimaginable to anyone who doesn't know them. We celebrate Chris and his wife, giving thanks quite often for having them in our life.
Or adding two new discipleship relationships.
Or that our 8 year long pursuit of a dream - is finally becoming a reality (more on that later).
Or the fact that our babies are growing - as evidenced by their bedroom. It once held a crib and a toddler bed. Now they sleep in a bunk bed. They are fast becoming little ladies full of creativity, imagination, and a desire for learning.
God changed the Lowery's immensely this year. He's done a great work in us. Although I won't mention all of it today, for we could seriously be here forever, I am thankful for it. All of it.
It's in this year that I learned I loved being a librarian and also had to give it up for the sake of my family. We began homeschooling our kindergartner who fast became a reader and quick learner, mastering skill upon skill upon skill.
We had to let go of much, yet gained much more. These moments of letting go of the nonessentials to focus on the essentials has been a new focus this year, and everything I've ever had to let go has claw marks on it.
This includes my stuff.
In April I discovered that my stuff gave me stress. I stressed about cleaning it and picking it up and having too much of it. I discovered that I needed to be a minimalist. Since April I have purged an enormous amount of stuff from our home, freeing me of time and allowing me to enjoy that time more. My goal was to donate 40 trash bags of stuff and by December I reached 35 and I'm not entirely sure I've kept a good record of it. This does not include items sold, which includes a dresser I emptied and endless totes! This pursuit of minimalism has changed me beyond what I can possibly explain here. I can only say that I realized my stuff was taking my focus off of Christ because I held fast to things rather than moments and memories and eternity with my Lord and Savior.
This journey began in April and I didn't truly realize how desperately I needed an eternal perspective until a friend passed away on July 8. She left behind her husband, 3 young children, and all of her stuff. I knew I could take nothing with me when I died, but it wasn't until her death and cleaning her home amidst everything she created, hung on the walls, her shoes by the door, that I began to think about my own death-date and all the things I would leave behind. I began to ask myself, what do I truly want to leave behind? It isn't a mess of things for my family to sort through, but it's memories and moments to cherish, and it's a reflection of my life - that I was focused on the only thing that mattered: the day I finally meet my Creator face to face. The day, like Erin, my faith becomes sight.
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| Erin with Brielle and her daughter Addi from a mom's group trip to a small local zoo back in 2014 (which I wrote about here). |
It was an incredibly hard - yet uplifting, joyful - yet full of heart ache moment I'll never, ever forget.
This moment was even sweeter because I shared it with my sister. As we cried and prayed together our appreciation for the life God gave us together grew tenfold.
God provided immense comfort and growth in my discipleship relationships as well. As Deb and I poured over Scripture the days following Erin's death we were comforted by God's sovereignty and encouraged by His promises. We prayed and cried and praised God through two songs.
These two songs became essential encouragement during this time. For just one week before Erin passed away our pastor played them for the worship team with the instructions to learn them for future worship time. They spoke to my heart and soul even then, fast becoming favorites. The days following Erin's death, they were played on repeat.
How timely did God bring about the later song, My Worth Is Not In What I Own? It was this song, Erin's death, the removing of nonessentials to make room for the essentials, that I began to solidify my identity.
Who am I?
What is my purpose?
And as I asked these questions, Brandi and I (whom I disciple) wrote it down and shared it with each other. This simple task was exactly what I needed and it was a moment of growth for both of us. I needed way less of myself, and more of Christ.
I learned more about who I am because of Jesus this year than any other year. That alone makes 2017 pretty remarkable. And hard.
While the summer was riddled with sorrow, it also brought joy. I added a sister-in-law and I had the privilege of taking their pictures.
We enjoyed time with our pastor and his wife learning from them and growing in our friendship. These memories become more and more precious knowing that our time here is not guaranteed and is a gift from God!
One of our dearest friends got married and Brandi and I felt blessed by her wanting us to take her pictures.
There were showers, and play-dates, and short family trips (that we won!) and many more memories. There were countless lessons, celebrations, convictions, and changes.
Like our college friend setting a world record by being the first hemophiliac to summit Everest. We follow his journey daily and travel to Denver to celebrate his accomplishments. It is so fun to see how your friends surpass expectations, and accomplish feats unimaginable to anyone who doesn't know them. We celebrate Chris and his wife, giving thanks quite often for having them in our life.
Or adding two new discipleship relationships.
Or that our 8 year long pursuit of a dream - is finally becoming a reality (more on that later).
Or the fact that our babies are growing - as evidenced by their bedroom. It once held a crib and a toddler bed. Now they sleep in a bunk bed. They are fast becoming little ladies full of creativity, imagination, and a desire for learning.
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| Just looking at our most recent picture fills me with gratitude! |
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