Tuesday's Top Ten [Be THAT Friend.]

Every girl (whether or not you admit it) needs girlfriends. I highly encourage you to surround yourself with women you want to be like for one reason or another because you become like the people you spend the most time with, "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." (Proverbs 13:3)

Be THAT friend...

1. ... who guards the secrets of your friends heart. If she spills her guts, you don't need to spill it to others. If you surround yourself with women who gossip about others, it's probable that when you leave the group they will turn around and gossip about you. Don't trust them. Instead of a "healthy-friend" pack you have a "ravinous-pack-of-wolves-attacking-one-another-to-show-who's-alfa-'she' dog" pack.

·        "Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler." (Proverbs 20:19)

·        "... a whisperer separates close friends." (Proverbs 16: 28)

·        "Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered." (Proverbs 11:12)

2. ... who is a prayer warrior. If your friend spills her guts, you don't need to spill it to others, but encourage your prayer warrior friends to pray for them. Give them something specific to pray about, but don't gossip about it behind your friends back, just simply ask her, do you mind if so-and-so and so-and-so pray for you too? And whenever your friends name or situation comes to mind, say a little prayer. Don't promise, "You're in my thoughts and prayers!" but never actually pray for her!

3. ... take everything to prayer. There will be times when you're angry, disappointed, feel left out or left down. WE ARE HUMAN, therefore we WILL all make mistakes. Before lashing out, giving up, or getting others to take sides, pray about it. There are two sides to every story. We are emotional, but that does not mean we need to react on our emotions right away. (This one's a really, really hard one for me.)

·        "Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him." (Proverbs 29:20)

4. ... who's maintenance free. We have crazy, busy, hectic lives filled with children, families, husbands, jobs, hobbies, etc. etc. Just because you don't get together daily, weekly, or monthly does not mean you're going to fall apart. It simply means that the times you do have together will be cherished because they are few and far between. I have a group of friends from college and I see them (maybe, if we're lucky) once a year, but when we get together it's like we were never apart. Be THAT friend.

5. ... who's drama free. If you have to start your sentence with, "OMG, did you hear about so-and-so who..." then you probably shouldn't be saying it. If you are listening to a rumor and immediately take sides, or if you try to "fix" something that is not yours to fix, YOU are in the wrong, "Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears." (Proverbs 26:17) If you have to start your sentence with, "I can't believe she wore/did/does..." then you are being a judgmental "she dog" that is not taking into consideration the conversation this person had with her spouse, her financial situation, her history, her dreams, and most importantly you are taking the place of God by judging what she does rather than loving her and being a prayer warrior friend. Does that mean we should condone sin? NO. Go back to #3, "... take everything to prayer" and ask God to guide you on how to handle helping your friend and remember that you too are a sinner in need of God's grace.

6. ... who tells it like it is. And I'm not talking about "calling-her-out" kind of "telling-it-like-it-is" ... I'm talking about if your friend made the effort to dress up, wear make-up and she looks absolutely beautiful - tell her. If your friend looks good in blue, tell her. If your friend has gunk in her teeth, pull her aside and tell her. If your friend's skirt is too short, you might want to tell her in a gentle way that it's not attractive to let your crotch hang out. If your friend has mastered patience with her children and you're impressed - tell her. If your friend is really good at reading to her children everyday - tell her. We live in a judgmental world that tells women how skinny they need to be, what clothes they should wear, where they should shop, what their homes should look like, how to cook, clean and love on your hubby, and we will forever fall short of all these expectations. Encourage one another by "telling it like it is" when you see something great and take to prayer the rest (see #3). You don't want to burn bridges and lose a friend because you "tell-it-like-it-is" the wrong way.

7. ... who tells your sista's you love them and mean it. Seriously. Tell them you love them.

8. ... be a listening ear. If she asks for your advice, give it. Usually, if your friend is spilling her guts she wants someone to simply LISTEN. Just remember those times when all you wanted from your hubby was for him to listen - not fix it - LISTEN! Do the same. Be that friend.

9. ... give without expecting anything in return. One of the most amazing ways I was blessed by the women in my life was when I entered the world of motherhood. They threw me a shower, my mom and sister spent a week with me after giving birth, my sister Mel helped me during labor, my mom and sister-in-law cleaned my house, the church ladies brought me meals over the course of two weeks, my college friends threw me a Facebook shower and I received packages in the mail, mom's from church offered to come over and hold screaming Brielle so that I could take a nap... in other words, I was spoiled. I want to do the same for other women because I remember how blessed I felt. Simply pay-it-forward without expecting anything in return. Giving is better than receiving. Give with love because you love your friend, and God will bless you in return.

10. ... have an "open door policy". Sometimes your schedule doesn't matter when you have a friend struggling to hold things together. Sometimes you want your friend to drop everything and let you come over because you quite literally can't stand the state of your own home much longer. Instead of freaking out over a messy home that we SERIOUSLY do not care about (because we've all been there) let your friend come over and help you load the dishwasher or snap green beans from the garden. If you feel the need apologize that your floor hasn't been swept since Monday, do it, but I can 100% guarantee that most women will say, "Seriously?! This isn't messy. My house is a mess." or "I don't care." or "Do you want me to grab a broom and sweep it while you finish whatever you were doing?" THAT is a real friend. Be THAT friend.

God calls us to be a servant. Serve your friend in whatever she needs: a listening ear, a get-away home, a gift, a reminder that she's loved and beautiful and smart, and that you're a trustworthy, secret-keeping, gossip-free, drama-free, maintenance-free, prayer warrior. Pass this on and challenge one another in being THAT friend. I'm not just writing this so I can encourage all you women out there to be better friends, I'm writing it so that I CAN BE A BETTER FRIEND. I have a lot to work on; I know I'm not perfect, but I hope that all my friends know how much I love them and will do what I can to be THAT friend.

Brielle's Newest and Cutest!

Brielle has blown me away these last few weeks with everything she's doing, like...

... "ca-ca-ca-ca" is cracker. (This includes graham crackers, Cheetos, and Kix.)

... she's desperately trying to use a fork. (This was not something I taught her. She saw me using it and wanted it, so after giving it to her she began to mimic me. I WAS AMAZED. It's monkey see, monkey do. -- I just had a scary thought. -- Am I going to see my bad habits reflected through my daughter soon? Gotta be careful. Reminds me of this YouTube video I watched a while back... do you know how long it took me to find it? :) Watching it as a mother vs a teacher is a totally new, motivating, kick-me-in-the-butt experience.)

... she's obsessed with "pretties" in her hair. We went shopping for her birthday presents, which I thought was so fun. We took her with us and showed her the stuff before buying it - just to see her reaction. She LOVES this HUGE stuffed dog at the library and her reaction was the same when we found a stuffed "Lady" dog, but her reaction to a package of "pretties" was adorable. She pats her head and tries so hard to put them in her hair. She tried to put the entire package in her hair! Kyle and I were cracking up in the middle of Target. She knew she was being entertaining so she kept doing it, of course. The best part about "pretties" is that after I put one in her hair, she points to the mirror and she's patting the pretty on her head while I tell her how pretty she looks.

These cute little flowers were in the clearance basket at Dollar General. When she saw them she instantly started patting her head. How could I resist?!

... when she wants something it's "be-be-be-be" (unless it's a cracker, then it's "ca-ca-ca").

... at youth group some kids were kicking around a ball and she wanted to do it too! Ever since then when she see's a ball, she wants us to walk her around, while she kicks it (you can call me soccer mom already). Pretty amazing. She also LOVES, loves, loves to play catch. For an 11 month old, she has a pretty good arm (but are you seeing how bias I am already?!). I need to get both these things on video.

... when she's mad at mommy (because -oh-my-goodness- I wiped her snotty nose) she's instantly yelling for "da-da-da-da!" and begging to go to daddy. (So it begins.)

... I had to remove the cute canopy that hung above her bed (actually she removed it herself). She LOVED to play with it and yanked it down on top of herself the other night, scaring her half to death, which also scared daddy and I half to death. Her scared scream scares the bee-jee-bee's out of me. Welp, so much for that.

... She LOVES coconut milk. In the process of transitioning to sippy cups (she will NOT drink out of a bottle) she would only drink water. I'm not complaining, but her milk intake dramatically decreased. I tried putting breastmilk in the sippy cup, formula, juice, etc. but she'd only spit it out (unless it was water). Weird, I know. So we've been trying other things and thankfully we have a hit! We went to a restaurant in Cheyenne that specializes in juices and smoothies and she loved Kyle's coconut, pineapple, yogurt concoction (wanted nothing to do with my strawberry smoothie). Light bulb moment for me - why don't we try coconut milk?! :)

These things may not be anything big, but they are things I don't want to forget. Once I write them down I'm always thinking of Grandma's and Grandpa's, Aunts and Uncles who are also interested in her newest and cutest. This way you can oooooo and awwwwww right along with me.  

Prayer Request [Action Packs for Persecuted Sudanese!]

I am so so excited about this post! I receive a free magazine every month from The Voice of The Martyrs which tells horrific story after horrific story of Christians persecuted for their faith. What I loved about this issue is that the entire magazine was dedicated to telling the story of the Sudan civil war. "They face the world's worst poverty, war and even genocide, in which Arab-Sudanese are trying to eradicate the black African Sudanese people in conflict areas like the Nuba Mountains. In addition the Sudanese government is trying to eliminate all Christians and churches in an effort to Islamize the nation." (An excerpt from "Strengthening Those Who Stayed" by Jim, of the Persecution Project Foundation) The only way I can think how to help my fellow brothers and sisters in the faith is by praying for them, however, this month an excerpt was included titled, "Taking Action for Sudan" and inside details HOW you can specifically help them!

Because of the persecution Christian Sudanese are experiencing, they are fleeing to South Sudan for safety with only the clothes on their back. VOM has organized assistance through Action Packs which are vacuum bags filled with blankets, jackets, sweaters, gloves, hats, socks, t-shirts, sheets, towels, soap and toys. They need help! You can fill one for someone in need. All you do is go to...

www.vombooks.com/July2013 to request your Action Pack and follow the directions given. It costs $7 to send a filled pack OR you can donate $30 and they will fill it for you.

When I filled out the request for my action pack I thought I was making a $7 donation, however, once the donation is made, that's your request for the pack.

Let me give you an idea, a glimpse, of what these people endure through one story of a pastor named Matak. He was arrested multiple times and although sentenced to life in prison, he was there 8 years. During those 8 years he endured severe torture. He was beaten with wooden slats and metal rods, electrodes were attached to his ears, his genitals were crushed, fingernails removed, and he was whipped with wires. They tried to force him to turn away from Christ because they knew he was influential. What amazed me was Matak's response to his torture, "God reminded me that the body can die, but the soul cannot. Once I said to my torturers, 'You can torture me, but if you kill me, I will just see Jesus Christ!" W.O.W! When he was transferred to another prison where he was sentenced to hang to death, he held church meetings where 170 attended! The churches planted inside the prison still grow today!

Here's a video from 2007 (make sure you have a kleenex).

I'm sure that these two stories are some of thousands and thousands! Can you imagine the fear that they live in day in and day out? Gathering food is a fearful task! They are quite literally "taking up their cross" to follow Jesus, because they know that by being a Christian might mean death.

I have no idea the strength it requires to endure something like that. These people inspire me! I don't know how to help them beyond praying for them and doing little things like sending them an Action Pack or writing about it here, requesting prayer from my readers. So, I'm asking for your help in two specific ways, 1. Donate an Action Pack and 2. Pray for the Sudanese people.

I highly encourage you to order a free subscription to this magazine, or if you feel lead to help the persecuted church in any other way, contact:

www.persecution.com
orders and contributions: 800-747-0085
ministry information: 877-377-0302
email: thevoice@vom-usa.org

If you go to the website www.persecution.com you can also sign up for specific prayer requests by scrolling all the way down to the end of the home page, you'll see the "Sign up for VOM's prayer alert" button.

A Shout Out to My CrAaaAaaAAAAzy Quigley

Instead of becoming less crazy, Quigley has instead added weird quirks. However, as he adds to his craziness, he has also become one heck of a dog, that deserves a BIG SHOUT OUT. Let me tell you why:

Quigley knows that if it's Brielle's he'd better leave it alone. She loves to give him her food, right from the table. BIG no-no, for Brielle and Quigley. He's not allowed to take it unless we tell him he can and Brielle is not allowed to feed the dogs from the table. The rule for the dogs is that they're supposed to "GO LAY DOWN" as we're eating. When given permission they come over and clean up the disaster under her high chair. Here's what we're currently working on: Brielle LOVES to play with the dog dishes, but Quigley knows that if Brielle touches it, he cannot have it. So when Quigley is eating Brielle has this obsession with playing with his food. When she touches it, Quigley follows the rule "GO LAY DOWN!" (Impressive, right?!) I'll tell Brielle "No!" and he'll come back over to eat, but it takes A LOT of convincing on my part before Quigley understands it's okay. Oh my goodness, he's such a good dog! I feel so bad for him when this happens, so Brielle is usually in bed or in her high chair (unable to crawl to his bowl) when I feed them.

Brielle + Quigley = BFF's. Where ever there's a Quigley, there's a Monster Bean. If Quigley is looking out the window, Brielle is looking out the window. If Brielle is playing with a toy, Quigley is right there, staring longingly at it, wanting to play with it too. If Brielle and I are walking in the yard, Quigley is RIGHT THERE walking beside us. They're two peas in a pod.

He buries his stuff. Which is kinda annoying when you go in the back yard and see the gazillion holes he's dug, but it's hilarious when Kyle finds a rawhide under his pillow (seriously).

I know he'll protect me. We were at my sisters condo in Winter Park hanging out, when her hubby and Kyle walk through the door. Jokingly I told Marley and Quigley to "Get 'em!" (Mistake.) Quigley's hair was raised and he went after them, once he realized it was Kyle, he was all good, but I won't say that unless I'm really needing him to "Get 'em!" If you're reading this, I have a gun and I have a Quigley. If you break into my house with the intention of hurting anyone in my family (including Quigley) you. will. be. meeting. your Maker.

It takes a day to learn something new. It took a day to learn the term "LEAVE IT!" (We practiced with treats and toys.) It took a day to learn the command "COME!" It took one evening, yes... one, for him to learn that he needed to "GO LAY DOWN!" during meal time. He is smart and he wants to please.

Brielle LOVES to ride on him. He loves it too. He'll just run around while I'll hold Brielle on his back and he'll turn around and lick her to death. She just giggles non-stop. CUTE.

Quigley LOVES visitors. I cannot get him to stop licking anyone I invite inside. Ugh. He reminds me of that dog from Up, "I just met you and I love you."

When I blog, he's under the desk hanging out with me. (Or trying to sit in my lap. He's an 80 pound-ish hefty monster so this is impossible, but he continues to try.)

Marley beats him up. Not kidding. We're constantly yelling at Marley for bullying him. Poor Quigles.

Here's why I'm telling you this. You see, we know Quigley is a lab/bully breed of some sort. We know that wherever we go there will be a prejudice against this crazy, but well-behaved, loveable, desperately-wanting-to-please, lick, lick, lick-crazed, baby protecting, smart dog. People see him and they're instantly terrified, and I get that... he's big and muscular (same goes with humans, it's so hard to not have this momentary feeling of desperation when you see a guy dressed in all black, hood up, pants sagging...), but give him a chance. I have a feeling that he is going to be one of those dogs that leave the biggest impact on my life, my husbands life and mostly my daughters life. We love this crazy dog to death (Marley will never admit this, but he loves him too).

Tuesday's Top Ten [Random Things You May Not Know About Me]

1. I have an obsession with sticky notes. Just ask my former students. I use them to take notes, as a bookmark, reminder, etc. etc. They come in all sorts of fun shapes and sizes - the possibilities are endless. I have to ignore the "home office" section in any dollar store and resist the urge to "stock up" because, quite frankly, I have more than enough.

2. I don't like to throw things away. I see potential in every little bitty piece of trash. Unfortunately, there just isn't enough hours in the day to complete all the projects that I have in mind, so this is something I have to force myself to do because I also hate clutter.

3. I hate talking on the phone. I like face to face interaction much, much more (Facetime on my iPhone has been awesome!). I'm starting to like it less and less because I don't get service in my house and my daughter wants to eat it every time I'm on it. Besides, talking to a mom on the phone is like talking to someone suffering with tourettes. "Did you hear the latest from... No! Don't eat that! ... What was I saying? Oh, yeah, the latest on... NO! ... Hold on... I forgot what we were talking about, sorry!" I find it annoying and it's starting to become my life, not only because my daughter wants to play with electrical cords and the dog's water dish, but also because most of the women in my life are busy moms. That's why I love texting and social networking; much less stressful.

4. I am a terrible speller. Yes, I do have a degree in English Language Arts, but that does not make me an expert in it.

5. I pick a restaurant based on it's bread. It's my fav.

6. I have lotion in almost every room in my house. I'm addicted.

7. I've wanted a pet mouse for as long as I can remember. My mom wouldn't let me have one and now my hubby says, "NO WAY!" Dang. IT!

8. I still hold a grudge against Suzanne Collins for ending "Gregor the Overlander" the way she did. UGH!

9. I love shoes but would rather be barefoot. Yeah, that's quite the dillema.

10. I'd rather be outside pulling weeds than inside watching TV. However, I have enjoyed watching "Hell on Wheels," "Duck Dynasty," and "Once Upon a Time" with my hubby.

First Time Obedience

I was having this discussion with a mom of four marvelous young men,

Me: "I've been thinking a lot about how imperative it is that Brielle responds to my saying, "NO!" immediately. Lately, she wants to chew on electrical cords plugged into the outlet. There's no way I can go around the house and unplug everything from the wall just because Monster Bean wants to eat it. Due to this new desire of hers, I've been thinking about the importance of "NO!" long term. Like, for example, if my two year old daughter is running into the street and there's a car coming, I want her to respond immediately to my "NO!" I don't want to have to count, or bribe, or watch her "test the waters" because I'm not just saying "NO!" out of selfish ambition, I'm saying it for her own safety! So how do I help her understand that? Is this even possible?"

Mom of 4: "YES! It's called First Time Obedience."

I think I might have overwhelmed her with questions. First time obedience? We continued to have a marvelous discussion about discipline, expectations, and such. She has told me on numerous ocassions that there was no such thing as terrible two's or troubled three's in their home because that behavior was not tolerated. (Inwardly, I'm thinking, "Ha! Yeah, right!") However, her logic made so much sense, "If they hear you calling them terrible or troubled, then how could you expect them to act differently?" It definitely makes sense when I see her with her four teenage boys, I always feel this overwhelming desire to know more. Her knowledge level is FAR above mine in the area of parenting. I was expecting this long drawn out, detailed plan that she followed, but her advice about parenting is so, so simple (not easy), simple! I was shocked, "You mean that's it?" She assured me that it was. I was extremely grateful for this experienced mother's advice who's already had the opportunity to learn from her mistakes and know what works and what doesn't. I trust her advice because ALL of her boys are polite, well behaved, smart, independent, young men who are a joy to be around, in other words, whatever she and her hubby did... WORKED.

When I got home I decided to simply "Google" first time obedience and see what comes up. What I found blew me away. It's obviously controversial (what opinion about parenting isn't?!) but this concept isn't a new one (except to me) and there's A LOT out there for a mom like me who's interested in pursuing the topic. Rather than summing them all up, I thought I'd share a few of the websites I liked and let you explore them as you wish:

- She makes some great points here: http://themomiwanttobe.com/index.php/be-a-better-mom-monday-cleaning-up-your-parenting-require-first-time-obedience/
- A GREAT source as well is: http://www.childwisechat.com/2011/11/17/first-time-obedience-first-things-first/
- I LOVED this blog and immediately became a follower: http://www.babywisemom.com/
- I'm definitely getting the book that she suggested: http://www.itakejoy.com/first-time-obedience-really/

I guess you could call me a FTO mom! Until the other day I didn't know there was such a thing. Do you know how amazing it is to have women who share in Biblical truths when it comes to raising a child? I'm so thankful that I'm not alone and that I don't have to "write or re-write the book."

Now, it's your turn. If you are also a FTO parent, PLEASE, please, please tell me what's worked for you! View this post as a FTO Q&A.

[By the way, you can pretty much expect me to share my experiences as a FTO mom. Perhaps I'll call it "First Time Mom Seeking First Time Obedience" or "This Mom's First Time Obedience Journal/Journey" or "Adventures of a First Time Obedience Mom" or .... well, you get the idea.] 

10 Reasons to Love Mickey & Minnie Mouse

My grandpa gave me my first Mickey Mouse when I was a baby. Ever since then my Mickey and Minnie Mouse collection has grown and continues to grow as people learn of my small obsession with these cute ears. Now I find Mickey and Minnie even more EARresistible and here's some reasons why...

1. The ears are EARresistible! Seriously. They look cute on car seat covers, shirts, purses, shoes, diaper bags, mobile's over a crib, strollers, knitted hats, teething rings, etc.etc.
2. It's a great couple's Halloween costume. (Do you think Kyle would go for this?)
3. Mickey and Minnie's voices were actually a husband and wife duo.
4. Walt Disney was full of creative spunk who dedicated his life for the betterment of children's lives, and it all started with a mouse!
5. Mickey has a friend named goofy (who is a dog) but has a dog dog named Pluto as his pet. L.O.L.
6. They offer plenty of decorating potential, including (but not limited to) a cute nursery. And an adorable 1st birthday party (coming soon...).
7. No matter where you go shopping, you'll find Mickey and Minnie Disney products (and no that isn't creepy!). You'll find them in Wal-mart, K-mart, Target, Dollar General. When you visit Disney Land or Disney World the signs have ears on them and the ice cream is in the shape of Mickey Mouse himself! I mean, cripes, he's everywhere! Woohoo!
8. And this...
   
9. And this...
   
10. And this...
    
    
    
    

Do we have to limit it to 10?!