I was having this discussion with a mom of four marvelous young men,
Me: "I've been thinking a lot about how imperative it is that Brielle responds to my saying, "NO!" immediately. Lately, she wants to chew on electrical cords plugged into the outlet. There's no way I can go around the house and unplug everything from the wall just because Monster Bean wants to eat it. Due to this new desire of hers, I've been thinking about the importance of "NO!" long term. Like, for example, if my two year old daughter is running into the street and there's a car coming, I want her to respond immediately to my "NO!" I don't want to have to count, or bribe, or watch her "test the waters" because I'm not just saying "NO!" out of selfish ambition, I'm saying it for her own safety! So how do I help her understand that? Is this even possible?"
Mom of 4: "YES! It's called First Time Obedience."
I think I might have overwhelmed her with questions. First time obedience? We continued to have a marvelous discussion about discipline, expectations, and such. She has told me on numerous ocassions that there was no such thing as terrible two's or troubled three's in their home because that behavior was not tolerated. (Inwardly, I'm thinking, "Ha! Yeah, right!") However, her logic made so much sense, "If they hear you calling them terrible or troubled, then how could you expect them to act differently?" It definitely makes sense when I see her with her four teenage boys, I always feel this overwhelming desire to know more. Her knowledge level is FAR above mine in the area of parenting. I was expecting this long drawn out, detailed plan that she followed, but her advice about parenting is so, so simple (not easy), simple! I was shocked, "You mean that's it?" She assured me that it was. I was extremely grateful for this experienced mother's advice who's already had the opportunity to learn from her mistakes and know what works and what doesn't. I trust her advice because ALL of her boys are polite, well behaved, smart, independent, young men who are a joy to be around, in other words, whatever she and her hubby did... WORKED.
When I got home I decided to simply "Google" first time obedience and see what comes up. What I found blew me away. It's obviously controversial (what opinion about parenting isn't?!) but this concept isn't a new one (except to me) and there's A LOT out there for a mom like me who's interested in pursuing the topic. Rather than summing them all up, I thought I'd share a few of the websites I liked and let you explore them as you wish:
- She makes some great points here: http://themomiwanttobe.com/index.php/be-a-better-mom-monday-cleaning-up-your-parenting-require-first-time-obedience/
- A GREAT source as well is: http://www.childwisechat.com/2011/11/17/first-time-obedience-first-things-first/
- I LOVED this blog and immediately became a follower: http://www.babywisemom.com/
- I'm definitely getting the book that she suggested: http://www.itakejoy.com/first-time-obedience-really/
I guess you could call me a FTO mom! Until the other day I didn't know there was such a thing. Do you know how amazing it is to have women who share in Biblical truths when it comes to raising a child? I'm so thankful that I'm not alone and that I don't have to "write or re-write the book."
Now, it's your turn. If you are also a FTO parent, PLEASE, please, please tell me what's worked for you! View this post as a FTO Q&A.
Me: "I've been thinking a lot about how imperative it is that Brielle responds to my saying, "NO!" immediately. Lately, she wants to chew on electrical cords plugged into the outlet. There's no way I can go around the house and unplug everything from the wall just because Monster Bean wants to eat it. Due to this new desire of hers, I've been thinking about the importance of "NO!" long term. Like, for example, if my two year old daughter is running into the street and there's a car coming, I want her to respond immediately to my "NO!" I don't want to have to count, or bribe, or watch her "test the waters" because I'm not just saying "NO!" out of selfish ambition, I'm saying it for her own safety! So how do I help her understand that? Is this even possible?"
Mom of 4: "YES! It's called First Time Obedience."
I think I might have overwhelmed her with questions. First time obedience? We continued to have a marvelous discussion about discipline, expectations, and such. She has told me on numerous ocassions that there was no such thing as terrible two's or troubled three's in their home because that behavior was not tolerated. (Inwardly, I'm thinking, "Ha! Yeah, right!") However, her logic made so much sense, "If they hear you calling them terrible or troubled, then how could you expect them to act differently?" It definitely makes sense when I see her with her four teenage boys, I always feel this overwhelming desire to know more. Her knowledge level is FAR above mine in the area of parenting. I was expecting this long drawn out, detailed plan that she followed, but her advice about parenting is so, so simple (not easy), simple! I was shocked, "You mean that's it?" She assured me that it was. I was extremely grateful for this experienced mother's advice who's already had the opportunity to learn from her mistakes and know what works and what doesn't. I trust her advice because ALL of her boys are polite, well behaved, smart, independent, young men who are a joy to be around, in other words, whatever she and her hubby did... WORKED.
When I got home I decided to simply "Google" first time obedience and see what comes up. What I found blew me away. It's obviously controversial (what opinion about parenting isn't?!) but this concept isn't a new one (except to me) and there's A LOT out there for a mom like me who's interested in pursuing the topic. Rather than summing them all up, I thought I'd share a few of the websites I liked and let you explore them as you wish:
- She makes some great points here: http://themomiwanttobe.com/index.php/be-a-better-mom-monday-cleaning-up-your-parenting-require-first-time-obedience/
- A GREAT source as well is: http://www.childwisechat.com/2011/11/17/first-time-obedience-first-things-first/
- I LOVED this blog and immediately became a follower: http://www.babywisemom.com/
- I'm definitely getting the book that she suggested: http://www.itakejoy.com/first-time-obedience-really/
I guess you could call me a FTO mom! Until the other day I didn't know there was such a thing. Do you know how amazing it is to have women who share in Biblical truths when it comes to raising a child? I'm so thankful that I'm not alone and that I don't have to "write or re-write the book."
Now, it's your turn. If you are also a FTO parent, PLEASE, please, please tell me what's worked for you! View this post as a FTO Q&A.
[By the way, you can pretty much expect me to share my experiences as a FTO mom. Perhaps I'll call it "First Time Mom Seeking First Time Obedience" or "This Mom's First Time Obedience Journal/Journey" or "Adventures of a First Time Obedience Mom" or .... well, you get the idea.]
I loved this! I too think it's hard to get kiddos to listen but with this concept it seems a little easier. Maybe someday I should attempt to instill it?!
ReplyDeleteIf you ever have kiddos I'd definitely recommend trying it. I've been around tooooooooooo many junior highers that were allowed to question authority all their lives.
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