Remember how I said this was a challenge? How I needed a renewal of mind according to Scripture? Yeah, so far there's been nothing easy about this challenge. It's been all about deny yourself. Stop being so selfish. Get over yourself. Do you love yourself most because you don't think anyone else can do it better? Congratulations you just made yourself #1, putting yourself in God's position, therefore making yourself an idol. I won't apologize - this is a challenge. So I'm going to start today with a warning... it doesn't get any easier from here...
Forget about what you think you deserve. Forget about what the Bible says is HIS JOB as your husband. Those are things he needs to work on and are qualities that you cannot instill in him. That's the work of God. It is not your job to point out, "honey, the Bible says you need to blah, blah, blah..." (because that's what it's going to sound like to him).
"A continual dripping on a rainy day
and a quarrelsome wife are alike;
to restrain her is to restrain the wind
or to grasp oil in one's right hand."
Ugh, don't be that wife. I know a few wives like that and they're exhausting to be around. I always want to pat the husband on the arm and say, "I'm so sorry..." and then turn to her and scream, "Just SHUT UP!" Since that's probably not appropriate, I'll start with challenging my readers...
Do you want your husband to be more romantic? Start doing romantic things yourself.
Do you want your husband to be more selfless? Start giving up your selfishness.
Fill in the blank: Do you want your husband to _____? Start _____ yourself.
In other words, LEAD BY EXAMPLE. Not through a haughty, prideful "look-what-I'm-doing" attitude, but because you truly want to draw closer to your hubby. Do not nit-pick, or show off, but do it because you're choosing to love your husband the way you want him to love you.
And here's the absolute truth: you may or may not see anything in return. He may never love you the way you think is best. OR it might spark a change in him over time. OR he might ask, "Why are you doing that?" and a simple answer like, "I know how much I'd appreciate this, so I thought I'd do it for you because I love you!" might be the light-bulb moment he needs. Who knows. But don't go into this task thinking it's a magic cure-all. IN FACT, don't go into this entire challenge thinking it'll all be better! Marriage takes time and it.takes.constant.work.
Still, if you want change, I challenge you to start with yourself.
What is it that you want your husband to do? How are you going to do it for him, starting today?