I grew up to sermons. As a child my father's words seemed like an endless discourse. I stopped listening after the first sentence, stopped caring, and hated the lecture I was about to receive. I felt there was no discussion, and even if asked, I very much doubt I would've been honest for fear of more sermons. I swore I would never, ever do that to my kids (if I ever had any). Still, it was just yesterday that my 3 year old daughter plugged her ears as I monologued about disobedience.
Even as I typed that I exhaled a deep sigh, feeling a desperate need to bang my head against the wall, begging God for a change in how I deal with my wild child.
I do not want to be that monologuing parent!
A monologuing parent is ineffective. When a single person participates in a prolonged talk, speaking only what is on his/her mind, not allowing a healthy exchange of ideas or the ability to express desires or sin without fear, there is no communion or fellowship. It's incredibly difficult to have a relationship with someone who does all the talking, or is so prideful to believe there is nothing to be learned from another person - even a 3 year old! It is especially easy to fall into that trap with a child whose communication skills are being developed. Questions are hard to answer and words are hard to find for a 3 year old, and my poor child was already enduring the nonsense of a monologuing parent. Lord, help me!
A monologuing parent is equally as destructive as a parent who yells, or a parent who disciplines out of anger, or a parent who manipulates to get what he/she wants, and I find myself falling back to those sins time and time again. It takes patience, kindness, self-control, and all of these qualities of the Holy Spirit to be a loving parent - all qualities I lack in and of myself.
How on earth - if I lack those qualities needed to be a good parent - do I accomplish Christ-like parenting?
With a full reliance on the God of the universe who never, ever lacks in patience, kindness, and self-control.
The letter Paul wrote to the churches in Galatia reveals very specific language that Christians should take note of, "walk by the Spirit" Galatians 5:16 or "If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit." Galatians 5:25 or "led by the Spirit" Galatians 5:18 and especially, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control;" Galatians 5:22-23. Note, "walk by..." and "live by..." and "keep in step with..." and "led by..." and "the fruit of the SPIRIT is..." Only when we trust in the Holy Spirit to lead us in His ways are we able to walk by and live as Christ lived - with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Sin has tainted the very core of who we are, so we do not possess perfectly the ability to love others. Only God is able to accomplish those things perfectly, and is ready, able, and willing to give His own the ability to love as we should love.
Trust the God of the universe to work! Pray with earnest, asking for His fruit, His wisdom, His thoughts, words, actions, and perfect patience. That is the only way I can resist the temptation to yell, be angry, pull my hair out, manipulate, or monologue! Just trust Him and stop putting so much pressure on myself. This reliance on Him is exactly what I need and what He desires - making us both happy in Him! And my child happy as I continually point her back to Christ, revealing constantly her momma's need for Jesus too.
Baby, we both need Jesus. Momma especially needs Jesus!
Even as I typed that I exhaled a deep sigh, feeling a desperate need to bang my head against the wall, begging God for a change in how I deal with my wild child.
I do not want to be that monologuing parent!
A monologuing parent is ineffective. When a single person participates in a prolonged talk, speaking only what is on his/her mind, not allowing a healthy exchange of ideas or the ability to express desires or sin without fear, there is no communion or fellowship. It's incredibly difficult to have a relationship with someone who does all the talking, or is so prideful to believe there is nothing to be learned from another person - even a 3 year old! It is especially easy to fall into that trap with a child whose communication skills are being developed. Questions are hard to answer and words are hard to find for a 3 year old, and my poor child was already enduring the nonsense of a monologuing parent. Lord, help me!
A monologuing parent is equally as destructive as a parent who yells, or a parent who disciplines out of anger, or a parent who manipulates to get what he/she wants, and I find myself falling back to those sins time and time again. It takes patience, kindness, self-control, and all of these qualities of the Holy Spirit to be a loving parent - all qualities I lack in and of myself.
How on earth - if I lack those qualities needed to be a good parent - do I accomplish Christ-like parenting?
With a full reliance on the God of the universe who never, ever lacks in patience, kindness, and self-control.
The letter Paul wrote to the churches in Galatia reveals very specific language that Christians should take note of, "walk by the Spirit" Galatians 5:16 or "If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit." Galatians 5:25 or "led by the Spirit" Galatians 5:18 and especially, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control;" Galatians 5:22-23. Note, "walk by..." and "live by..." and "keep in step with..." and "led by..." and "the fruit of the SPIRIT is..." Only when we trust in the Holy Spirit to lead us in His ways are we able to walk by and live as Christ lived - with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Sin has tainted the very core of who we are, so we do not possess perfectly the ability to love others. Only God is able to accomplish those things perfectly, and is ready, able, and willing to give His own the ability to love as we should love.
Trust the God of the universe to work! Pray with earnest, asking for His fruit, His wisdom, His thoughts, words, actions, and perfect patience. That is the only way I can resist the temptation to yell, be angry, pull my hair out, manipulate, or monologue! Just trust Him and stop putting so much pressure on myself. This reliance on Him is exactly what I need and what He desires - making us both happy in Him! And my child happy as I continually point her back to Christ, revealing constantly her momma's need for Jesus too.
Baby, we both need Jesus. Momma especially needs Jesus!
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